I am applying for admission to the University of Arizona. The essay prompt and statement of purpose can be found below. I will appreciate honest feedbacks to improve my statement of purpose. Thanks
Statement of Purpose
As a young college student who lived in a semi-urban settlement where there was no awareness about the damaging effects of improper solid waste disposal on the environment as well as the human health, I was consistently troubled by a baffling question (which would stimulate my drive for environmental issues) - how do I address the unconscious threat to the environment? - how can solid waste be used to the benefit of humans without harm to the environment? It is against this backdrop that I am applying for the MSc. program at the University of Arizona. I am interested in research on the processes for generation of biofuel from industrial waste. Over the years, I have acquired theoretical and practical knowledge; and I have participated in internship and volunteer programs which have contributed to my personal and professional development in the environmental engineering field.
My undergraduate program in civil engineering was a richly rewarding experience. It exposed me to a variety of fundamental topics in the environmental engineering field such as basic concepts and theory, and design of solid waste collection and disposal systems, filed and laboratory sampling and monitoring of solid wastes etc. Besides, the course on water and wastewater engineering imbued me with the basic knowledge in planning water source development programs, treatment process for surface and groundwater(from screening to disinfection) etc. All these knowledge are necessary prerequisites for some major and elective subjects in environmental engineering masters program. These include bioremediation of inorganic contaminants, advanced water and wastewater treatment, advanced chemical reaction engineering, water and wastewater treatment systems design, environmental engineering laboratory etc.
For my internship experience, I had a six-month industrial training at Osun state Ministry of Environment and Sanitation. During this period, I was nourished with a gamut of hands-on experience in waste management. My assignment as the assistant environmental sanitation officer across two districts helped the development of supervisory skills as well as the mastery of my problem-solving techniques. By preparing a roster based on the number of houses in my assigned districts, I was able to effectively coordinate the weekly environmental sanitation activities, which included cleaning of drainage ways, bush clearing, and packing of waste on road paths.
As a way of developing the environmental skills set required to deal with environmental issues, I worked as a volunteer for the "My Environment is Mine Initiative (memyAfrica) - an initiative created with the motive of championing a clean, healthy, and sustainable environment through a synergy of environmental enthusiasts across the globe. Moreover, I worked with the Environmental Community Outreach (ECO) group of the initiative to sensitize communities about the need for an eco-friendly environment in facilitating a healthy human lifestyle. As the moderator of the group's chapter in my area of residence, I coordinated more than fifty education programs to primary and secondary schools, and parastatals on environmental topics ranging from proper waste disposal to developing environmental sustainability ideals. Moreover, through the Gofundme project, I was able to raise funds to purchase brooms and waste baskets for use in over 10 communities where obtaining these items was difficult due to the poor financial status of residents.
During my stay at the University of Arizona, I intend to join Arizona's chapter for "Engineers for a Sustainable World (ESW)" group. I shall utilize my knowledge and skills on sensitization, gained during my service in the Me.Mi Environmental Community Outreach group, to actively participate in awareness programs on sustainability best practices for students and engineers. Besides, I would like to be involved in the design and implementation of sustainability projects geared towards tackling sustainability challenges across the globe. My participation in ESW will serve to improve my problem-solving skills through the design of projects, and to hone my interpersonal skills as I expand my professional network in Arizona and beyond.
I want to study at the University of Arizona because the Institute meets my criteria for a first-class institution. It has state-of-the-art facilities and professional instructors; a major attraction for me is the cutting-edge environmental researches ongoing in the school. The various modules offered in the master's program for environmental engineering cuts across a diverse number of sub disciplines. A thorough knowledge and understanding of these sub disciplines, I believe will assist towards achieving my career goal of becoming a balanced environmental engineer who can make valuable, meritorious contributions to the field of knowledge in an academic, commercial, or industrial environment. Prof. Greg Ogden, Prof. Kim Ogden and Prof. Reyes Sierra have research interest in biofuels which aligns with mine. I would like to be considered for available graduate research assistantship positions at the university so that I can work under any of them upon gaining admission.
Additionally, on the successful completion of my master's program, I intend to earn a Ph.D. in a subject related to my master's research. In the long run, I plan to establish a small-scale consultancy firm that will provide consultancy roles on pressing environmental problems to both local and international organizations in the environmental sector. The research knowledge from my postgraduate education will help me perform the consultancy roles efficiently.
Overall, I have a strong desire to create a conducive and comfortable environment for people to live in, and to improve the everyday lives of people. . I believe that I have the zeal in environmental engineering that makes me a suitable candidate for this master's course. My hardworking nature, interpersonal skills, knack for coordination and insatiable thirst for academic excellence consistently ranked me among the top 5% in my class throughout my bachelor's degree, course representative for various course works, and the project leader of several group research work. I am confident that I have the necessary prerequisites to thrive on the academic rigor of the MSc program, and look forward to commencing an exciting academic career at the University of Arizona.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The statement lacks a true purpose for being. Sure it responds to the academic and skills development in great detail. The problem is that these experiences and learning avenues never led the applicant to create his own research within a specific partner field that he can pursue under the tutelage of these professors. Simply saying that interests align do not mean anything. They will not hire an assistant based on interest alone. The candidate must provide evidence of existing research, proven theories, and points for research advancement that actually aligns his purpose with the specific research these professors are doing. The applicants have so many similar experiences and skills that the applicant needs some information pieces that will help him stand out to the reviewer. Unfortunately, these academic interests and skills developed are too common. I doubt there are aspects that he can highlight as notable considerations for the reviewer, which is what the purpose should be focused on.
Why is your purpose more important than the other candidates?
What is the local and international implication of the research you wish to pursue?
How do you see the completion of your research helping local and international communities?
Based on what you know of the research of these professors, how does your own research project relate to theirs? How will your research enhance their own?
