Hi,
I have applied for the Msc Economics in Cambridge , and have to write a personal statement.
Can someone give me some advice and help me with my grammar because english is not my first language.
Thanks a lot
Personal Statement
The world economy had been the toughest ever since the financial crisis and the European debt crisis hit. As a witness of how the world economy had plunged into recession, I feel very excited and privileged to read Economics in my undergraduate studies at University College London as I can find a clear link between model studied and the real world. It had given a profound understanding of economics which allowed me see deeper into the theories behind the causes and the solutions the world had taken actions.
After studying Economics for some time now, I found economics really helped me and opened a new window to observe how this world works; this is very engaging; in instance how government policies would influence citizens' lives made me realize I had found many of the answers I was curious to but cannot understand before. So, with this in mind, I find this an extraordinary time to continue my studies to a master degree in Economics which would aid me to fulfill my desire academically and in my prospective career. Working as an analyst in blue chips firm is always my ideal future job because of its exciting and competitive nature and I believe postgraduate course offered in Cambridge would be most helpful for my career ambitions.
During my Economics studies in University College London, I have established solid foundation for further studies in this field. I had adapted myself to learn economics from all angles of perspectives, and the most fascinating part for me lies with macroeconomics theory. In the lectures, the lecturers demonstrate a variety of models of economics to us and how to use them to analyze the historical phenomenon or to predict the future trends of national economy. Before that, I always believed growth of GDP is the most important index in determining a country's economy performance, But after studying various models around the relationship between GDP growth and other important factors affecting welfare of domestic citizens. I realized the level of GDP growth is only a choice of central bank and central bank needs to balance it with other factors like inflation rate and exchange rate to provide stable economy condition which is most desired by both domestic citizens and investors. I am intrigued by the way how economics can evaluate such a delicate model from the historical facts and extracting vital details to explain common arguments using them. I have always enjoyed areas that require problem solving, analytical and mathematical reasoning, and I realize this is exactly parallel to qualities needed to excel in economics. I feel that my studies in economics already had defiantly prepared me enough for a master degree-level course in economics and finance, on grounds of skill set and interest required.
Besides academics, I had actively participated in several society activities. During my college years, I joined the Bridge Society, it is an excellent game which fundamentally requires a combination of analytical and mathematics skills together to develop playing strategies; consequentially we had a very successful competition with LSE after our practices. And before college studies, I joined the volunteer society and badminton society in my high school. In volunteer society, I have done several volunteer works in library including questionnaire readers, supporting security during Olympics games and helping readers returning books. And in the badminton society, I was responsible to arrange trainings and practices effectively for teammates and organize badminton match for high school. From these experiences, I have learned the importance as a key player in the teamwork environment and also developed management skills and strong communication abilities. Some activities were really intensive and required long-hour of working, it improved my working habits under pressure.
I also completed an internship in a securities company during my summer holidays this year. It was the perfect opportunity for me to learn from the experienced employees how to extract the key information we need from the news and other media source. As part of the internship, I've also used the knowledge learnt from college to analyze the economy situation to predict future trends. For example, we need to analyze how a new economic policy like reducing future interest rate would affect market, both in technical and in financial market confidence level. The results are always interesting because it is similar to model learnt in the lecture but have slightly but non-ignorable difference because the real world is much more complicated. As well as I learnt to try and express my own opinion on my views of the world, I also attempted to trade in the stock market and in the gold futures market. Up to date, I've earned almost 10 percent from the gold futures market after the launch of US Quantitative Easing 3, I've found the knowledge I learnt has actually became the powerful tools I can use, and that, I find, is the most full-filling moment.
The postgraduate Finance and Economics program offered in University of Cambridge is an ideal fit for my ambitions because of the overall academic excellence, emphasis on core contents of both economics and finance. The course structure includes most of my interested part during undergraduate study like Asset Pricing and Macroeconomics. I strongly believe that experience is crucial and is the only way to understand the theories behind the facts and the research method used in this course which combines existing observed data and related models together to reach a reliable conclusion is also very attractive. I aim to build up my existing skills with a master degree in finance and Economics into perspective by experiencing the demanding nature of a researching environment. I hope to secure a challenging and rewarding position in this profession, and I believe postgraduate course offered in Cambridge would be most helpful for my career ambitions, because of the quality of education and international reputation. During my several visits to Cambridge, I am fascinated by the culture, diversity and beautiful views here, and it would be an absolute pleasure to continue my studies in University of Cambridge next year.
Ok here are some corrections in grammar, English is not my first language either, take that in count, I just want to help you
ever since the financial crisis and the European debt crisis hit
Financial crisis of where? of when?
After studying Economics for some time now *a while.
I found thatit really helped me and opened a new window to observe how this world works
this is very engaging. What is very engaging? studding economics? writing the essay?, you can make stronger your essay making those "this"and "that" exactly what they are: "this essay" "economics" and so on.
I had found many of the answers I was curious of but could not understand before
So with this in mind. Take "so" off is not necessary.
Working as an analyst in blue chips firm has been always my ideal future
I believe that the postgraduate course offered in Cambridge would be more / the most helpful for my career ambitions.
in determining a country's economic performance, but after study. *not capitalized
rowth is only a choice of central bank, and central bank needs to...
Well before I keep going I would like to say that you seem to be showing your knowledge of economics, besides, I believe that your essay could be much stronger if you empathize how a master degree could help you, and the community. Why would they accept you when thousands of students apply, why you? you need a reason for that, a strong reason, more than knowledge many times they want to see leadership skills in you, you may talk about your performance with the bachelor and why do you need a master to achieve your goals, and also, how that goals make you important, don't be selfish, think in others, they want people who is going to impact the world, show them that you could be that one.
