Hi, Mal!
You begin your essay by proclaiming yourself unique for frankly common virtues. It would be best to briefly qualify your "unquenchable curiosity" by giving some example right off the bat such as:
"I can skydive with a book in my hand.(<<a bold statement to catch the reader's interest) My passion for learning coupled with a voracious need to experience life demands that I set lofty goals; I intend to be a pediatrician. The University of Rochester (UR) has just the sort of curriculum to pique and hold my interests - disciplined yet diverse."
The school's curricular flexibility allows me to focus on my intended major, while allowing me to explore other fields of interest with ease. I intend to pursue in the biochemistry major
Instead of making the reader wait 18 words to find out what your main interest and focus will be, why not just tell them? This can also be an opportunity to meld many of your points into one statement. (Look out! I tend to make really long sentences - it's a character flaw...:D
"During my quest to find a college whose philosophy is closely aligned with my aspirations, UR stood out as a school that not only provides excellent research opportunities in my chosen major, Biochemistry, but also offers the curricular flexibility to pursue psychology, another field that sparks my interest."
UR offers endless exploration opportunities, thus allowing me to become a well-rounded pediatrician.
As you might have noticed, I stuck your long-term goal (to become a pediatrician) in the first paragraph. You can use bits and pieces of your first paragraph and the body to conclude your essay.
I don't know what your word limit is, but your draft is 123 and the changes I made come to 101. This leaves room for your personal revisions and enough leeway for the closing paragraph (if it is a 150 word essay...) Hope this helps!
Happy Holidays!
Jeannie