My study with respect to Nigeria's quest to recover from issues threatening it's security.

Home benefits to your country (Commonwealth shared scholarship)

Please look through this essay and see if it answers the following questions:
describe how your plan of study relates to development in your sector and country.
- how, on your return, you will apply your new skills and qualifications,
- what outcomes you will hope to achieve.
- The outcomes should be related to a national development priority or objective.
- suggest how the impact of the potential benefits of your work might be measured.

All corrections and advise will be truly appreciated

a project of my foundation

Studying and acquiring a master degree in international relations and politics (Global security) is a timely achievement in my career with respect to Nigeria's quest to recover from issues threatening it's security. Security should be understood as a status of satisfying Stability and not just solely the absence of conflicts As summarized by the Africa Security Initiative on February 29 at Brookings, recent happenings has threatened the security of Nigeria today which ranges but not limited to : Religious fighting, terrorism, corruption and Politics, Violent attacks on the oil rich Niger Delta, Popular frustration over the government failure to deliver basic amenities, Poverty and unemployment, embezzlement and injustice etc. It is very obvious that Nigeria hasn't found reliable ways to build peace and prosperity neither do they have development procedures to reduce poverty.. Thus, my plan of study provides relevant skills and expertise to enhance a secured nation providing room for advanced development.

With the high level of insecurity in the country, national development and security are threatened which makes us far from achieving any of the sustainable development goals. Upon completion of this degree, I would focus on Human and National security(which are branches of global security) in reference to my country. With skills and qualification gained, I am very sure to avail a position within security and political institutions to help design better policies that would enhance the nation's security and reduce threat. With focus on human security which ranges from the freedom from violence, rights of the citizens to accessible basic amenities, health and development, resources and environment, I will open a foundation which targets projects on health, accessing funds to provide basic amenities and entrepreneurship starting from the Northern region. I would partner with able bodied government institutions and submit proposals to see to it that citizens have access to education, health and basic amenities. I will work with communities thereby bringing their women together. Women are a good target because educating and empowering women directly affects the whole nation. I will educate them informally on aspects such as child education, health and nutrition, while empowering them to use their skills to make use of their local resources and diverse food cultures, to set up and maintain their own business structures. We will source funding for them and follow them up till they are established. Other than address gender balance, this project has the potential of reducing and even ending poverty in Northern Nigeria, or at least reducing the imbalance between this region and other parts of Nigeria. This project also have a tendency of providing citizens access to basic amenities which never existed. Finally, this project will generate highly needed income to the impoverished populations who contribute up to a third of the world`s poor population.

Chinwendu, in the first paragraph. present the government initiative first, then follow it up with with the reason why you are studying the masters degree in relation to it. All you have to do is flip the positions of the paragraph. Place the last part at the start and the first part at the end. You don't have to revise any content in the paragraph, just change the positions.

Your second paragraph can very well be divided into 2 more paragraphs. Create a new paragraph where you discuss the foundation that you plan in creating. That way you create an easier to read essay that has a better flow of discussion. By the way, you need to indicate some of the government security institutions that you will consider joining upon graduation. That will show that the government program is real and that your skills will have an eventual application.

By the way, you have not represented how you the scholarship committee will be able to accurately measure the success of your programs. That is a required element so create a new paragraph that will detail how you plan to allow the measurement of success of the program after a year or so.