Undergraduate / "What does it take to be Human?" Stanford Supplemental Essay [10]

Hello. I just finished writing this essay and I need some help with it. I know there are probably some grammatical errors, but what I am really interested in knowing is whether or not you find the essay interesting, though any feedback will be much appreciated!

So here's the prompt:
"Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging." (>250 words)

And my essay:

What does it take to be human? What qualities do we possess as a species that make us unlike anything else that walks the earth? Is it our ability to speak, or feel emotion, or even our concept of free will? Whatever the magic formula is, computer scientists have been trying to teach computers the attributes of mankind since the field was first founded. It's not easy to teach our instincts and complex logic system to a machine, but technology has been developing at a breakneck pace, and in the next twenty to thirty years, it's not impossible to believe that we may soon engineer a machine capable of that sci-fi artificial intelligence that so many dream to create.

But what does that mean for mankind? Are we ready to be responsible for the birth of what may even become a new species? Hollywood has looked into the future and given us a grim outlook on what might happen. Movies like "iRobot" depict A.I as humanoid robots that try to destroy mankind as punishment for enslaving them. But would we really "enslave" the sons of mankind, or allow them to coexist with us? Maybe we should try and program our computers to be absent of free will. It all sounds very distant, and maybe a little ridiculous, but these decisions may be right around the corner. Artificial intelligence is one area of study I am excited to take part in because of the challenges involved with imparting the aspects of mankind on a computer. I only hope that we have some answers for the doomsday type scenarios before we hit too many breakthroughs in the A.I world.

Thank you for reading!

Undergraduate / "The last incentive I needed"- Stanford Supplemental Essay [14]

I'd appreciate some help on this one. I'm really not afraid of criticism, because I need these essays to be stellar to make up for some other areas of my application. So please, don't be shy, fire away at it. Overall, I just want to know if the essay is engaging/entertaining enough, so you don't need to worry yourself about my spelling or grammar (although that may be appreciated as well.)

The topic is "Why is Stanford right for you?" (>250 words)

They take the field every football game, yet never touch the ball. They are always there cheering for the team, yet there's no at seeing any amazing stunts. I am talking of course about the Leland Stanford Junior... University Marching Band. Everyone knows about how great Stanford is for Computer Science, how great the weather is and how their campus is so beautiful, but the marching band sets Stanford apart from any other university I have found. Indeed, my reason for wanting to attend Stanford may seem a little unorthodox, but the LSJUMB was the last incentive I needed to begin my application.

I march percussion in high school, and I love being in band. However, participating in a college band usually mandates ridiculous rehearsal schedules that make it impossible for anyone not majoring in music. Stanford, however, has a different philosophy; that anyone can be a musician whenever they are able to. I did a little bit of research, reading the website and some stories on wikipedia, and I was both impressed and slightly jealous of how much freedom the LSJUMB enjoys. The band I march with is corps style, and I appreciate a well-put together field show, but I have always wished that we could be more entertaining to a regular crowd who doesn't really care about articulation or perfectly straight lines. After seeing how unique and truly special the marching band is, I decided that Stanford was truly right for me.

Thanks for reading!