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Posts by okorobiadimma14
Name: Okoye Pascal
Joined: Oct 31, 2016
Last Post: Sep 9, 2017
Threads: 6
Posts: 82  
From: Nigeria
School: University of Benin

Displayed posts: 88 / page 3 of 3
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okorobiadimma14   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Students are encouraged to not directly continue their studies but work or travel for 12 months [2]

Here are some comment on grammatical errors.

Students who have finished their study have ccompleted high school ...

# Always try to as much as possible not to repeat the words in your topic question, as I understand this is one of the essays for IELTS writing test.

Secondly, start each paragraph with a topic sentence that will be developed in the next 2 to 3 sentences.

The words 'besides' in your concluding paragraph is not appropriate. Because the latter statement is not buttressing the former. Hence, I suggest you used the word 'However' which introduces the contrast between your initial statement and final one.

I hope this helps.

Good luck!
okorobiadimma14   
Nov 6, 2016
Scholarship / Obtaining a master's degree from Leeds University will horn my research expertise - Chevening essay [2]

Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future ( 500 words max).

Prior to sending-in applications to my preferred UK universities, I thoroughly considered the courses offered in these schools to ensure a perfect continuum for my academic and career goals. Hence, obtaining a master's degree in Plant Science and Biotechnology, Applied Biotechnology or Biotechnology from the University of Leeds, University of Westminster, and University of Glasgow, respectively, will horn my research expertise. Ideally, these courses will not only offer a premise for me to develop my career, but also equip me with relevant skills needed in research and innovative science; a priority in the UK's development mandate for Nigeria.

Expectedly, my undergraduate qualification and experience as a laboratory attendant will help me to successfully complete these courses in the UK. During my postsecondary education, I completed most of my courses, such as Plant Biochemistry, Biotechnology, Genetics, Microbiology, Cell Biology, and Molecular Biology, in grade A's. Basically, the modules in my intended courses of study are related to my previous subjects, except that they are more advanced. Some of the modules include Plant cell biology, Microbial physiology, Techniques in biotechnology, and Industrial bioprocesses.

While my intended course at the University of Leeds will widen my horizon on the application of biotechnology in agricultural improvement, those of the University of Westminster and University of Glasgow will increase my knowledge on the application of biotechnology in environmental pollution management and industrial processes. Through my involvement in laboratory activities at the 'Environmental Biotechnology and Sustainability Research Group' I have developed keen interest in sustainable approach to improving plant productivity and raw materials. Surely, my intended courses of study will help satisfy this research quest. For instance, while applying to my most preferred UK University, I read Professor Jurgen Denecke's article, published 17 years ago, on the anticipation of Endoplasmic Reticulum stress in plants in response to pathogens. I observed that, based on the results reported, the hypotheses were insufficiently addressed. After series of interactions with him through several emails and Skype interview, he supported my application and I received an unconditional offer of an academic place with him as my dissertation supervisor.

My ultimate aspiration is to pursue a career in academia and satisfy my passion for research and teaching in higher education institution. Studying these courses will facilitate my ability to undertake an outstanding independent research. These programs will assist in building my EQ and IQ with the template of excellence that already exists in the UK universities. Definitely, I will have the opportunity to work with state-of-the-art facilities especially in DNA isolation and analysis of gene expression by PCR and RTq-PCR. I have plans to graduate with a distinction and then pursue a PhD degree so as to further my teaching career.

In the long run, through my research expertise, I hope to contribute to the UK's development plan for Nigeria. The UK established West Africa Science and Innovation Network currently based in Lagos with a mission to support science and innovation in Nigeria. I believe I have a stake in this mission.
okorobiadimma14   
Nov 6, 2016
Scholarship / Leadership and influence skills before graduation and in the light of my professional career [3]

Hi hanadyz

I am happy to help in your essay. I will concentrate my comment on typos and grammatical errors. I won't change the overall concept of write-up due of Chevening's deadline.

Here are suggestions:

...I have always known that the key to success...but also on how it was achieved. Surely, it depends on...and not...Hence, I will discuss leadership and influencing skills in the light of my professional experience upon graduation.

I have worked in... for... years as a/an... in the department of... We enjoyed convenient working conditions and remarkable outputs until an impromptu resignation by the head of department due to personal issues. Consequently, the turnover of analysts increased and, due to extensive argumentation of production campaign, more responsibilities were assigned to me.

Please, if you are OK with this. I want you to continue from here and revise your essay.

I hope this helps.

Goodluck!
okorobiadimma14   
Nov 4, 2016
Scholarship / I selected the three university courses; Chevening - "Studying in the UK" Question [6]

@Eng Phin

Dear Eng

Your write-up is good. Thanks to Holt and other reviewers. But I have an observation that you need to consider.

You kept mentioning MPhil in your essay. Have you checked Chevening's course criteria?
Are you sure they sponsor MPhil courses?

The last time I checked, Chevening only sponsors one year taught masters in the UK and not MPhil or PhD. Please do your homework properly in this regard so as to be sure you are really good to go.

Goodluck!
okorobiadimma14   
Nov 4, 2016
Scholarship / The networking is an art which mastery requires self-confidence and diplomatic abilities [2]

Here is my CHEVENING Essay on Networking Skills. I need help to confirm that it is good to go

Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will engage with the Chevening community ...

Experience has taught me that networking is an art which mastery requires self-confidence and linguistic aptitude, in addition to diplomatic abilities. Engaging with friends, colleagues, professors, and the world outside academic setting has always come naturally to me. Hence, I consider my election as the president of departmental students' association in 2014 as the major accomplishment of my networking and interpersonal relationship skills.

While in active service as the president, I organized an academic excursion to International Institute for Tropical Agriculture (IITA) Ibadan. The expedition not only offered participants the opportunity to meet and interact with professionals and adroit researchers in the discipline, but also established a prospect for collaborative research between IITA and the University of Benin. Meanwhile, my proposition for the trip met with strong opposition and almost outright rejection due to lack of funding. That was the first setback. The second hindrance was the odds in securing the university's sixty-passenger capacity bus, which, at the time, was inaccessible to students. Under those circumstances, I realized that onus was on me to make prompt decisions so as to substantiate my plans for the trip regardless of challenges.

At the outset, I engaged with few members who believed in the impact and possible success of the journey and delegated in-house responsibilities to them, while I masterminded engagements that involved external bodies including making contact with the management of IITA. I led the team that visited the director of Genetic Resources Centre at IITA. Through the outing, I had the privilege to network with Dr Michael Abberton, the director, and procured an approval letter for the excursion on IITA's letter-headed paper. Consequently, I met Professor Abiodun Falodun, the Vice Chancellor Academics, and discussed the benefits of the excursion and the challenges facing its success. He applauded my courage in securing a written approval for an academic expedition in one of the best research institutes in the world. Ultimately, through him, I not only received approval to use the university's bus, but also got some financial support. In the light of the progress I made hitherto, I convened a departmental association's meeting during which I gave detailed up-to-date information as regards the excursion. Before I ended my speech, ninety-five percent of those who initially refuted the idea changed their minds. In the long run, the excursion took place on 5th June, 2014 and was more impactful than I expected.

I have plans to expand Chevening Alumni Network in Nigeria. I intend to employ my networking skills in spurring local organisations in Nigeria to partner with Chevening to sponsor more Nigerians to study in the UK annually. Presently, Nigerian scholars make up 2.5% of Cheveners worldwide who commenced their studies in September 2016. I am confident in my aptitude to increase the proportion to 10% by 2030. I hope to achieve this feat through Corporate Community Development Service Scheme. Ultimately, being a Chevener will endow me with personal testimony about opportunities in Chevening's network and help make my vision a reality.
okorobiadimma14   
Nov 3, 2016
Scholarship / Chevening Scholarship - Career plan! I have a vision how to implement it in my city. [7]

Dear Lix,

I am happy to assist in reviewing your essay. I will give you some suggestions accordingly with respect to sentence structure. First of all, I will commend the effort you invested in your write-up, however, I don't think it is nice to describe your city in a rather negative context, especially by starting your first paragraph with such negative remark. I suggest you should try and merge the first and second paragraph that the solution you intend to proffer would compensate the effect of the problem you already stated.

#I plan to collaborate with my alma mater, UNET [write the full name], and design a research project aimed at revitalizing public places in [say the city's name] which have deteriorated for the past two decades#

What is 'Public Places' ? Can you used a more common term for it.

Please respond to the above suggestions and/or questions.
okorobiadimma14   
Oct 31, 2016
Scholarship / A leader is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things. Chevening scholarship 2017/2018 [2]

I am applying for Chevening scholarship for 2017/2018 entry. I need your help in reviewing my essays

Chevening is looking for individuals that will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer. (minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

According to Ronald Reagan, the greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things; he is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things. I am a perfect character depicted in the statement above. I was in my freshman year at the University of Benin, still getting used to the new world of challenges and opportunities, when I had my first experience with leadership.

After a class session on Thermal Physics and Properties of Matter, the class was divided into six groups by the course coordinator. Each of the ten-man group was assigned a topic for an experiment which must be submitted in a fortnight. Prior to being elected, unopposed, as the leader in my group, I have always made important contributions in a rather explicit manner during class hours. I believe my outstanding communication skill was one of the reasons my election defied any form of opposition. My group was meant to demonstrate the impact of energized particles on a static body. As the group leader, I developed three strategies through which I ensured that, while influencing my team to fully participate in the experiment, all activities met deadline and at a lowest possible cost.

Firstly, I captured the interest of each member by giving the methodology a code name-Project Elrond. Although "Project Elrond" is hypothetic, it describes three simulations I designed with balloon which preceded the main experiment. Secondly, I split the team into three man subgroups and assigned a simulation to each subgroup while I oversaw all simulations for final decision making. Lastly, I reunited the subgroups and proceeded with the main experiment using the procedure demonstrated in the best simulation. Consequently, while three out of the six groups failed to meet the deadline for report submission, my group not only beat the clock, it won the best presentation and most cost effective experiment. Overall, I was named the most creative group leader.

Furthermore, on 27th September 2013, during my penultimate year in school, I was elected president of National Association of Plant Biology and Biotechnology Students. During my tenure in the office, I motivated students to participate in community service by organizing a biotechnology outreach tagged "Environmental Biotechnology: the Lifeline of Sustainable Development in the 21st Century". It was a three-day outreach which attracted the sponsorship of Fidelity Bank, First Bank of Nigeria Plc, MTN Nigeria, Indomie Noodles, and Edo State Environmental and Waste Management Board. My team and I visited and delivered seminars at some industries such as Guinness Nigeria Plc, Dangi Industries Limited, and Freedom Group Limited. We particularly emphasized the implication of releasing untreated wastes and hazardous chemicals into the environment, and highlighted the benefits of employing microorganisms in waste management.

Obviously, I have not attained the pinnacle of leadership neither have I given up on my vision of becoming a policy maker in Nigeria. Ultimately, being a Chevening alumnus is the gateway in making my dream a reality.

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