Undergraduate / Tufts supplemental essay on collective participation; 'Constantly stepping out of comfort zones' [5]

There is a Quaker saying: "Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raised-your family, home, neighborhood or community-and how it influenced the person you are today. (Required length is 200-250 words)

Before moving to a neighborhood mostly reserved for military officers, the 6-year-old me never thought that there could be strangers knocking on our door at 5 am on a Sunday to invite the newcomers to a morning jog. By the time I got back, I had already scored 5 goals in my first soccer game ever, learned 2 ridiculous military cadences, and made a bunch of friends. The army atmosphere that I felt was not a lack of individuality, but rather a sense of strict inclusiveness, as everyone was expected to get involved in everything: local family sport events, charity rus, weddings, funerals, no excuses. These "commanders" drew a line somewhere, of course, but they seem to know exactly when and how to push others and bring out their best. It rubbed off on their "little soldiers" somehow, especially on that once-shy soccer team manager kid that shouted at every player at the top of her lungs on a wheelchair.

Growing up there taught me that openness and collective participation are essential in any community. Outside the neighborhood, I always try to engage others in activities, encourage everyone to do new things, and consequently surround myself with an accessible, helpful social circle that boosts individual development. There's an African proverb that says: "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together". Constantly stepping out of comfort zones with my friends, I'm definitely going as far as I can on my academic path.

Please review my essay. Thank you for your help!

Undergraduate / The rebelling nerd - I had fulfilled my duty as an Asian kid [30]

@Holt
I didn't pay much attention to the Common App prompts when I wrote the essay. I'm thinking about these two:
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

"I feel stupid - and contagious - here we are now - entertain us". Kurt Cobain was shouting into my ears as I spray painted a wall. Hmm, smells like teen spirits. Taking my headphones off, I took a step back to look at my newest artwork between countless others that covered the canvas. It still lacked something. The sight could be called unorthodox: the new captain of an English Language team appreciating vandalism at midnight in the schoolyard.

Last week, when my family threw a party (for the first time in a decade) for their favorite child who just got admitted to the most prestigious highschool in the city, they probably didn't expect this. Looking at my dad's broad smile as he clinked his glass with mine, I doubted that he knew I didn't share much of his happiness. After four years of relentless schoolwork, I decided that I did not want to remember my teenage years as a string of forced 12-hour-study days. I did not want only to please my parents. I got good enough scores, and felt I had fulfilled my duty as an Asian kid. I was going to rebel.

I left the yard to get to the school roof. My satire paintings were not fulfilling, so I tried colorizing my dissatisfaction where it could stand out for everyone to see. And suddenly there was a sobbing guy at the edge of the roof.

My plans halted. I carefully made my way towards him, walking slowly and loudly enough to let him wipe away his tears. He happened to be someone I knew.

"Hey, Khoa."
"Hey Triet. May I settle my behinds in this vicinity?"
He laughed, rubbing his eyes, "you can sit."

It turned out that Triet's high school entrance exam scores were not enough for the best schools in the city, and were definitely not what his parents wanted. Triet's parents had yelled at him constantly ever since the results were released. The last straw was, "You can go away for good", and there Triet was on the roof, about to do as he was told, just like what Vietnamese kids are supposed to do.

I sat there incredulous. Infuriated. Saddened. The story was not new to me. Every year in Vietnam there are articles about students running away from home or even committing suicide because of school pressure. But this was the first time it happened to someone I knew. As a straight-A student, my concerns were the tediousness of schoolwork. It wasn't until talking with Triet that I recognized the effect our school system could have on other people. Many students, like Triet, can do wonderful things like building machines, raising funds for charity, or taking photographs, but their families discourage them if these activities don't help them climb their class rank. Students who fail to get into respectable universities, see the doors to their future closed. If my society continues to promote this heavy, unjust emphasis on scores, the consequences will be grave.

That night, I found what was missing: the true purpose of my "rebellion". My urge to do something did not came from boredom, but rather from a desire to oppose unfairness. I found the right way to channel my passion. With the opportunities, energy and time that I have, I will try to help others, to do something meaningful enough that I can excitedly tell people about when I'm all old and frail. I promised Triet that I would keep challenging injustice - but not on walls anymore. I'll do all I can to keep that promise.

Please reviews my essay. Thank you!

Undergraduate / Why Tufts: On religions and compassions [26]

WHY TUFTS:Which aspects of Tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short: "Why Tufts?" (Required length is 50-100 words)

On religions and compassions

I grew up with my Christian relatives in a Buddhist country. There isn't a Creator God in Buddhism. There isn't an endless cycle of life in Christianity. There are numerous clashes in belief between the two religions, but I observed that their irreconcilable foundations does not affect their mutual virtue: compassion. Buddhists develop their compassion to realize enlightenment, with no expectations of rewards. Christians develop their compassion as a commandment of God, to join him in heaven in their afterlife. Raised in both, I'm not bound by any rules: I'm taught to be kind and accepting without any reason. I'm also taught to be brave even when encountered with seemingly unopposable forces. Tufts declaring its support for undocumented students amidst the States' unstable political atmosphere is the kind of bravery and acceptance that I commit myself to. I'm not a Buddhist, not a Christian, but I don't really consider myself as an atheist, as I don't think the existence of a God should affect how we treat each other. I consider myself to be a Jumbo. (176 words)

This undocumented student support of Tufts is a recent development and I really like it. What do you guys think?
Thanks for your help!

Letters / Cover letter for a School Counselor? [2]

Proper structure of my cover letter

I'm from Vietnam and in my country we don't really have school counselors, so students usually ask for help from their Homeroom teachers. I'm asking my counselor to send my score reports to some colleges via email attachment, and they require that the counselor "clearly indicate that the email is sent by a school official, not a student in the cover letter". I searched "cover letter" on google and I've only found letters that come with resumes and such. Does the cover letter in my case mean the signature at the end of every email, which includes name, occupation, and contact information? Or is it a short letter explaining that she's a school official?

It would be great if you guys can provide a full example of this kind of cover letter.
Thank you so much!

Undergraduate / Tufts supplement: Something that I created [7]

@Holt
Whether you've built blanket forts or circuit boards, produced community theater or mixed media art installations, tell us: what have you invented, engineered, created, or designed? Or what do you hope to?(200-250 words)

The Galileoscope

The Galileoscope is a small, inexpensive telescope, designed with the intention of increasing public interest in astronomy and science. Looking through the lens, millions of people can see what Galileo Galilei saw. There couldn't be a better name for my online newspaper.

I believe that the attention science deserves from young people is only obstructed by uninitiated inquisitiveness. The independent acquisition of information is neglected in our school system, rendering students unmotivated to update themself on the latest development of the world. As an attempt to spark their curiosity, my friend and I started a newspaper that aims to provide new findings accompanied by basic knowledge in various fields. What makes our content different from the existing resources is its authentic teenage tone, its references to the lastest celebrity gossips and internet memes, and in my school, it succeeded in giving people a good laugh while throwing in some new knowledge.

I intend to expand the subjects of The Galileoscope to include opinion articles and controversial issues, like political corruption and the violation of human rights in Vietnam, in the near future. Galileo spoke the truth he saw through his telescope, and he was burned alive for it. That didn't matter to him. Like his own, our telescope will be dedicated to what we believe in. As it's handed from one person to another, as it's polished and reinvented, I hope it will become something that does not only help young people see, but also help them speak.

Please review my essay. Thanks for your help!