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Posts by van94
Name: Van
Joined: Aug 25, 2017
Last Post: Sep 7, 2017
Threads: 3
Posts: 7  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 10
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van94   
Aug 25, 2017
Undergraduate / The Common App Essay - Topic 2 - Failure and experience for the future [6]

Hi, I please help me revise my essay. Thank you

The Common Application Essay - Topic 2

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?


The Best Way To Learn



You know how people tend to remember your flaws and faults rather than the time you succeed, how the media is always aiming for the dirty side of a celebrity's story. As you think about it, you realize how much deeper a failure can affect us comparing to our successes. Successes bring happiness and pride. In contrast, failures of course put us into a much worse positions. However, counterpoising the miserable circumstances, failures bring experiences and lessons. There is no better teacher than failure. Consequently, that is where the table turns.

The class went silent (at least I thought they did) as the teacher handing out the result of the Chemistry final exam. I was nervous, I was shaking, I knew I didn't do well. Miss Thoa eventually came to my desk. I'm pretty sure that I saw the disappointment in her eyes. I got a 4 out of 10 on my Chemistry test. In my frustrated head, my parents' face started to appear, they were angry, they were yelling. But most of all, they were disappointed. 4 is probably not the end of the world but it's still not a pleasing number to receive. I tried to come up with an excuse but I couldn't. There is no excuse for not studying. Nonetheless, I knew exactly why I didn't study. I was lazy, I was conceited.

I had always been someone who got good grades without having to study as hard as my classmates. I was definitely not some who gets a below average grade (which is less than 5) on a test. So on the day before the test I decided not to study since I thought I would probably do well without studying anyway. Despise the horridness of getting a 4, imagine if I received a 7 or even an 8 instead, I would have taken it for granted and would not have learned anything. If I hadn't failed, if I succeeded, the only thing I would have learned is that I don't really need to study which is not a very good lesson to teach.

Being in that miserable position, I learned the consequences of not studying, I learned that I have to work hard in order to get what I want, there is no other way. So, in all of my later exams, I made sure that I was always carefully prepared. As a result, my grades were improved even better than before and at the end of the year, I was entitled "Excellent Student".

Had I not failed that Chemistry test, I would have learned nothing. Maybe I wouldn't become a worse person but I wouldn't improve, either. By failing, I learned and I grew. In conclusion, I think it's safe to say that failures also bring happiness and pride.
van94   
Sep 2, 2017
Undergraduate / Long-term goal, process and obstacles - University of Cincinnati Application [3]

Please help me revise my essay. Thank you.

Obtaining a college degree requires persistence and the ability to stay focused on the end result. Share with us a long-term goal that you had, the steps/process you took to obtain that goal, and how you overcame any obstacles that you encountered. This goal could be academic, personal, or extracurricular in nature. (approximately 250 words)

set a goal to live a fully life



One day, I asked myself, "Why do I wake up every morning?" Not being able to answer this is somewhat frightening. Therefore, the 15-year-old me believed that the only way to fully live your life is to have a dream, a goal to fight for. I set up the biggest goal ever in my life, renovating my home.

I've lived in the same house my entire life. Growing up, I've always seen the potential of the house that no one really noticed or cared. In grade 8, I wanted to re-paint the house. In grade 12, I wanted to change the entire interior of the house, from the floor plan to the furnishing. The vision for the house is constantly changing as I'm growing up but there is always one.

I began my journey with a sketch of my room, of how I wanted it to be. I remembered asking my dad if I could re-do my room, change the tiles, knock off the wall, buy new furniture and he said no. Now that I'm looking back I can clearly see why. Who would trust a little kid with such things. In another hand, my family didn't have the budget for the renovating anyway. So, I moved on to the next step, gaining my parents' trust.

On every Vietnamese Tet holiday, I volunteered to clean and decorate the house. I would help my parents with gardening, choosing indoor plants, organizing furniture,... I would do everything to show them my abilities, my passion. Then we had a conversation about my dream of becoming an Interior Designer. My parents didn't have any idea against it so my dad signed me up for an art class to prepare for the National Drawing Examination. My registration for the class was behind time comparing to other kids at my age who had started class a year before me. But that only made me work even harder. As the result, I got an 8.5 out of 10 on the Examination, stood at the 17th place among 2,080 contestants.

Throughout years of chasing my dream, the eager to explore everything about Interior Design keep growing inside me. I want to go abroad, to see what's out there for me to learn. I want to become a successful Interior Designer and come back home to full fill my biggest goal. So, that are me next steps.

398 words
van94   
Sep 6, 2017
Letters / Application letter for the Teaching Assistant position - Vietnam USA Society English Centers [3]

Please help me revise my letter, thank you.

Cover letter for a Teaching Assistant position



Dear VUS,

I am writing to apply for the open Teaching Assistant position as recruiting on the vus.edu.vn website. I am currently a graduate high school student, which can really help with building good relationships with children. It will be a great pleasure for me to offer my candidacy for this job.

During my four years of Scouting, I had participated and organized seven camps, led the girl guides team to become the champion twice (as the team leader), 3 times supported the team won second and third prizes. With three years of leading a group of girls at my age and below, I discovered my love of working with children and the ability to manage groups of pupils. Additionally, I also had a couple of organizational experiences while creating activities for the camps.

While pursuing my education, I had participated in several school and class projects as a designer which helped with my artistic and computer skills. Recently, I received an 8.5 in drawing on the Ho Chi Minh University of Architecture Talent Examination. I think I could put these skills to great use when putting together classroom displays.

Growing up, I had the opportunity to develop my communication skills in English very early since I went to the International Primary School, where I was mostly taught in English. In my secondary school years, I attended the Cambridge program held by EMG Education and continued developing my communication skills as well as Mathematics and Science in English.

Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Van Nguyen
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