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Posts by Warisha
Name: Warisha Usmani
Joined: Nov 24, 2017
Last Post: Feb 12, 2018
Threads: 4
Posts: 7  
From: Canada
School: Terry Fox Secondary

Displayed posts: 11
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Warisha   
Nov 24, 2017
Undergraduate / Being Indifferent - Tell us about who you are. UBC [4]

First of all I would just like to say that I'm literally working on this question for my own UBC personal profile . So, I may not be the best person to give you feedback.

That being said I overall really like your answer, it gives me an idea of who you are. I like how you begin your first sentence, it really drew me in and made me keep reading the rest.

The one thing that bothers me is the line "Sometimes a hardheaded mind that despite being quite tolerant still likes to win every discussion." I like the idea of it but I don't like the way it is formatted, it feels to wordy, then the next line doesn't flow nicely with the previous sentence.

I hope that I was helpful

Also,
I just notice I think it should be and an independent teenager.
Warisha   
Nov 24, 2017
Undergraduate / What are the things most crucial to you and why? [7]

What is important to you? And why? (Maximum 250 words)

UBC Personal Profile



There were times where I could not figure out a sense of purpose or direction of my life. These feelings stole my optimism, and left me frustrated. This is when personal growth that I felt was lacking became incredibly important to me along with seeing the evidence of that growth. I define personal growth as someone who chooses to constantly improve themselves and learn in order to become the best version of themselves. I have always kept every writing assignment, and I will be keeping an extra copy of this personal profile as well, because seeing proof of progress and improvement, is a great satisfaction and motivation to keep trying to be better. I started writing down experiences, thoughts and feelings in journals so later on in my life I can reflect and see what exactly made me who I am, and how much have I improved as an individual. Have I changed for the better? Or am I making similar mistakes? This self development is something I value because I want to prevent myself from falling into a life where all I care about is being successful rather than being passionate and trying to strive for excellence. I hope one day my personal growth leads me to where I have made positive contribution to society no matter how small. There is no definite definition for the purpose of life, but if we continuously and consciously grow I believe we will have a clearer view on our role in life.
Warisha   
Nov 24, 2017
Undergraduate / What are the things most crucial to you and why? [7]

@Holt
I just want to make sure, you would like me to remove this line:
I have always kept every writing assignment, and I will be keeping an extra copy of this personal profile as well, because seeing proof of progress and improvement, is a great satisfaction and motivation to keep trying to be better.

Also thank you so much for your feedback.
Warisha   
Jan 6, 2018
Undergraduate / "A different language is a different vision of life". My vision of life changed in the USA [3]

I noticed a few grammar mistakes:

... gives students a huge ...

I know how important it is ...

As a future college student, I find ... (Take out the as)

Don't start this sentence with 'Because'
Because I am able to ...

These sentence I think could be phrased better as one sentence:
I know how important ... Knowing a foreign ...
Warisha   
Jan 6, 2018
Undergraduate / UBC Personal Profile: Tell us about who you are? [2]

Tell us about who you are? How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

Out of all the questions, this is the hardest to answer. How can I tell you who I am when I'm still trying to figure it out myself?

I was raised by Pakistani parents, if you asked them to describe me they would tell you that I am stubborn, hard working, and that I really don't like giving up.

If you asked my friends what is the one thing they like about me, they would tell you how I do not let the paranoia of what other people may think stop me from being me.

I am someone who is passionate about storytelling in any sort of form such as books, movies, and or music.

I fell in love with books and the endless possibilities that come with it because when I was little I was shy, and terrible at making friends. I love reading till this day where I now try to write a world of my own.

When I was six I would not just sing songs but rather create my own. This stayed with me as I got older and although I've come to realize that I can't sing I've come to love writing lyrics, or poems.

I value an open mindset, and having empathy. I love to be constantly learning, expanding my knowledge and satisfying my curiosity. As I keep growing, and learn new things about myself these values won't change and that is also what I am most proud of.
Warisha   
Jan 8, 2018
Writing Feedback / Happiness is now and here. To what extent do you agree with this statement [4]

Your essay was very engaging to read. I overall really enjoyed it.

In the first introductory paragraph I felt that it is unnecessary to add From my point of view. The reader already knows it is from your point of view and it makes your essay sound more informal.

In my opinion, your first and last point is stronger than your second point.
Warisha   
Jan 8, 2018
Undergraduate / UBC Personal Profile. Explain the role you played and what you learned in the process. [3]

Tell us more about ONE or TWO activities listed above that are most important to you. Please explain the role you played and what you learned in the process. You will be asked for a reference who can speak to your response.(maximum 350 words

My Most Important Activities



My most memorable experience has been spending half of my summer volunteering at the SFU Summer Camps.

Due to the variety of camps, I was pre assigned to work at a new camp each week. I worked with different instructors, different age groups of campers, and a different type of camp. I quickly learned how important it was for me to be able to adapt to the changes each week brought. For example, with the ESL camps, whenever I was explaining, I knew that a verbal explanation wouldn't suffice like it did with non ESL Camps, I would have to focus more on visually explaining it with lots of demonstrations.

A typical camp would consist of 3 instructors and 2-3 volunteers. One of the key things to make sure a camp ran successful and smoothly was communication, between all of us. I made sure to ask the instructors what they had planned out for that day, so I wouldn't be confused and miss my opportunity to lead something. Or whenever I had to co lead activities with my volunteer peers, discussing what the activities will be, who's going to speak and how will we explain it to them was essential in order to not waste valuable time.

I had to learn to find a balance where I bonded with the campers, so I would be seen as more of a friend then just another volunteer and at the same time be seen as an authority figure. When dealing with younger children I learned how to be patient, and calm especially during meltdowns. A specific example I can give is one time our camp was heading for lunch, and I was instructed to be at the back of the line. While everyone had gone inside, the camper in front of me stubbornly refused to go, and I was left alone to deal with him. I could not let my frustration show, I had to be patient, and quickly use tactics that might make him listen.

Overall I learned a lot about leadership, and gained more confidence than what I began with.

Note:
In the previous question that said to list 5 activities (which I will make a separate thread for), I listed SFU Camp as one where I explained my roles and responsibilities. Do I have the repeat it again for this question, or can I leave it?

To be more specific
It was this:
I volunteered at the SFU Summer Camps. My responsibilities were to assist the instructors by leading games or activities, ensuring safety, and helping instructors deal with misbehaving children. In by doing so I formed bonds with these children, increased my leadership and communication skills.

Warisha   
Jan 9, 2018
Undergraduate / The most important thing to me is being able to spend time with my family. UBC essay [3]

Since Family (to me at least) is such a typical response to a question like this. I would really make sure the response stands out among all the other people who chose to respond with family.

The parts that I think that makes your response strong is how your mom took classes so she could help you, the last bit about your dad, and your final sentence.

The part that I don't understand in your response is this:

When the summer we decided [...] hardship they did growing up.

I don't see the connection. How does your family moving to Vancouver related to sacrifice of your parents living away from each other? Did one of them stay in New Brunswick? That area needs to be more clear because I got confused.

Also I would identify where "here" is for My family immigrated here in 2009 because you said you originally lived in New Brunswick then moved to Vancouver. Your "here" seems to indicate Vancouver which then doesn't make sense.

"and seeing snow for the first time" sounds like an incomplete sentence.
I think it should and saw snow for the first time
Warisha   
Feb 12, 2018
Book Reports / Why did the author choose to tell this story? Decide if the story could really happen [2]

Based on the short story

"Test" by Theodore Thomas


I don't think you have to read the short story to understand what I've written because hopefully I summarized it well enough, but if you want to here's the link: tpsenglish11d.wikispaces./file/view/The+Test+by+Theodore+Thomas.pdf

Two Part Question:
Why did the author choose to tell this story? Support your ideas with reference to your story
Decide if the story could really happen and justify you response


The "Test" written by Theodore L. Thomas in 1962 is about Robert Proctor, a young man who is driving in a seemingly normal day with his mother, in reality he is put under hypnosis to experience an inevitable car accident as part of the driving test. When Robert signs the license application, he is denied and he is taken away by the authorities for still wanting to drive after the horrific accident he faced.

In this short story Thomas explores the themes of humanity's desire for power and control of others; to fulfill this hunger people will go to any extent regardless of ethical values. The government officials symbolizes the elite section of humanity who are abusing their power to control society by the use of hypnosis. Thomas with a background in law and chemical engineer, influencing his message shows the readers how imposing what one might think is beneficial for someone can be adverse and negatively impacting: "No harm done, son. You just took the last part of your driver's test . . . We hypnotized you to make you think you were in an accident. We do it to everybody these days before they get their driver's license. Makes better drivers of them." (pg. 2) Although this portion of the test appears to be beneficial for society it does not erase the trauma put on Robert as he still remembers the sleeping girl and his mother although unreal, and unavoidable dying in the accident.

The readers are meant to question the ethics behind the test especially after the officials deny him his license for Robert not reacting the way they had expected. "Nobody should want to drive a car after going through what you just went through. It should take months before you can even think of driving again" (pg.3) They fail to see that Robert handled the car accident reasonably well given the uncontrollable situation and that he was able to come out of the trauma, ready to face the road again. Instead the uniformed man jumps to conclusion and accuses Robert of how "Killing people doesn't seem to bother you. We can't let your kind run around loose any more." (pg.3) However, the reader knows that this is not how Robert feels, he experience the guilt of killing an innocent girl and his mother, even though it is irrational since none of it actually happens. The story raises an important question how can someone effectively judge something, if only looking at it from only one perspective?

Since the short story is written in 1962 getting one's license was not as difficult compared to today. Yet this science fiction story is very relevant to present day, due to the increasing amount of car collisions and number of deaths, especially among young drivers, the short story "Test" to some extent can happen. To make society safer the hypnosis can be used in a more positive manner and can teach people how to effectively respond to a car accident scenario, rather than manipulate and eliminate people allegedly deemed unstable. However, the government manipulating society can also happen today. What's interesting is that Thomas, deliberately shows how this is a common fate for people coming to test in the story's world. "As they pulled, his rubber heels slid along the two grooves worn in the floor." Driving is a huge part of society everyday life so by controlling who gets to drive the government also controls a big portion of society's social activities.
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