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Posts by Zainab110
Name: Zainab
Joined: Apr 14, 2018
Last Post: Apr 20, 2018
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
From: Pakistan
School: Graduated

Displayed posts: 7
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Zainab110   
Apr 15, 2018
Writing Feedback / Ielts 8 test 4 task2: heavier weight and less fitness [4]

I'm not an expert but would like to suggest you some points.
1-Word "heavier" is not correct . You can use word obese .
2-You don't need to add high with calories as you have already written RICH in fats.
3-Which are not only gain weight -> which do not only gain(increase would be better though) weight.
4-these sedentary people is not correct.
5-instead of "salt" use cholesterol as I don't think that salt has any role in weight gain.
6- How sleep would be helpful to decrease the weight?
Zainab110   
Apr 15, 2018
Writing Feedback / Ielts academic discussion essay - the importance of different kind of sports. [5]

Some people think it is more beneficial to play sports that are played in teams, e.g. football. However, some people think it is more beneficial to play individual sports, e.g. tennis and swimming. Discuss about both views and give your own opinion.

Benefits of Team vs individual Sports



It is considered by some people that playing team sports is more beneficial than single - player sports, while other refute this idea. In my opinion, team sports have greater importance as it makes an individual competitive and strong.

On one hand, playing game in team has more advantages because team work makes an individual tough, strong and how to get along with others.For example,sportsman playing in team sports such as cricket or football develops competition with his co-players. This sense of competition fortified his playing skills and helps him to become a successful sportsman. Therefore,working with others in team would be immensely helpful to built the competitive and bright sports person.

On the other hand, those who opposes the aforementioned view present their point as well. Single player games are more relaxing and easy. For instance, recreational activities like swimming in which swimmers does not have to rely on others . He or she is independent and can swim and enjoy anytime whereas, in team games one has to rely on others. Thus, it is considered that one-player games are more feasible than multiple-player games.

However, my personal opinion are on par with the idea that team sports have greater significance because it encourages an individual to become the confident and better player.

To conclude,there are continuous arguments for and against the importance of sports type. However,In my view, multiple-player games have positive impact on players by making them courageous and strong.
Zainab110   
Apr 17, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Academic Negative Development Essay - Cosmetic Surgery [7]

Well written. But just want to say that plastic surgery and cosmetic surgery are two different fields. Plastic surgery is mainly for the correction of deformities like cleft palates and others while cosmetic surgery is for enhancing the features.

Intro: I do not believe/think that* this ...
Zainab110   
Apr 19, 2018
Writing Feedback / A big chunk of people's earnings goes to purchasing material things [5]

1- I think you should add concluding line in 1st body paragraph after your example.
2- In conclusion there is no need of last sentence as you already said that in first line of conclusion: more negative than benefit
3- different countries * (Intro)
And do not* , Incidents happen* (2nd Bp)
You can also use these words instead of priotizing rather than repeating it -> think , worried , preference.
Lastly, I didn't get your opening line of 2nd Bp
PS I'm not an expert.
Zainab110   
Apr 20, 2018
Writing Feedback / Is it possible to say a lot about person's culture and character from his/her choice of clothes? [3]

Question: Some people say that it is possible to say a lot about person's culture and character from their choice of clothes? Do you agree or disagree?

an outfit of a person means something



Answer:
To a certain extent I agree that custom and tradition can be predicted by one's choice of clothing. However, I also believe that personality of an individual has little or no connection with dressing style.

An attire of a person reflects its cultural and traditional values. Most of the People prefer to follow a particular dress code which is appreciated in their ethnicity. With time they get Comfortable along with it , regardless of time zone and location. For example , Muslim women prefer to wear a veil in order to cover their heads , called as hijab . They embrace this ritual and cultural identity with extreme gratitude and pride , wherever they go. By looking at this unique way of covering, one can perceive about their custom and religion. Hence, culture and way of wearing particular clothes are strongly correlated to each other.

On the other hand, character is a moral and mental thinking of an individual which has no link with a piece of clothing. Personality of a person is completely a distinctive quality.For instance, a group of people living in a community and sharing same pattern of clothing,culture , religion or even sometimes same profession but their characters could not be same . Some among them could be pious and soft hearted in contrast to other stingy and cruel fellow members..In other words, criminals and common men are having similar type of get ups, where as their action and mentality are entirely opposite. On the basis of clothing, it is hardly possible to differentiate these two categories of wrongdoers and innocent people. Therefore, it is apparent that character has no relation with coverings.

To conclude, I partly agree that outfit of a person gives an idea about heritage and customary ways , while nature of a person can not be define by it.
Zainab110   
Apr 20, 2018
Writing Feedback / Funds for building a sophisticated railway network. [4]

I would say your TA is not clear especially in introduction and conclusion.
once you have written even though then there is no need of But after comma. (1st Body Paragraph)
In second body para your first sentence is so long you can split it from Moreover word.
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