forsil
May 5, 2018
Graduate / MSc Sports Technology in Germany - My motivation for this pursuing this degree [4]
Hi Elecktric,
I am new on the forum, I'll try to answer to some of your question:
"-Should I add, develop further, or remove any information?"
All in all, I think it is a very good essay, I don't think you should remove any information, maybe you can develop further more your "medium-term professional goals". For example it's not clear to me how do you see yourself professionally in 3-5 years after the MSc: you say that "I will acquire the skills necessary to provide future patients and athletes [..]", this means that you do you see yourself as a sportive medical technician? Maybe you should state it more directly.
I wrote 'the' German Sport Uni
It sounds to me better without "the" - not sure about that
"Do all letters of motivation need a salutation and closing"
I've looked at some motivational essay for MBA programs (for which I would like to apply) and they are organised in a very similar way to your essay
I hope I was helpful
S
Hi Elecktric,
I am new on the forum, I'll try to answer to some of your question:
"-Should I add, develop further, or remove any information?"
All in all, I think it is a very good essay, I don't think you should remove any information, maybe you can develop further more your "medium-term professional goals". For example it's not clear to me how do you see yourself professionally in 3-5 years after the MSc: you say that "I will acquire the skills necessary to provide future patients and athletes [..]", this means that you do you see yourself as a sportive medical technician? Maybe you should state it more directly.
I wrote 'the' German Sport Uni
It sounds to me better without "the" - not sure about that
"Do all letters of motivation need a salutation and closing"
I've looked at some motivational essay for MBA programs (for which I would like to apply) and they are organised in a very similar way to your essay
I hope I was helpful
S