Writing Feedback / IELTS II : Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? [4]

Hallo, My name Vike Darliyasi, and I'm IELTS student.
I need feedback in term of task achievement, coherence and cohesion, lexical resources, grammatical range and accuracy

different strengths and weaknesses of men and women

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weakness. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

Basically, females and males might have the divergent of strength and weakness. It is totally wrong because in today's world all of the genders have the same opportunities, and no do successful people depend on the sex, but it depends on the people's hard work.

In this era, gender equality becomes the hot issues in all over the world. People have the same occasion to having a job, not depends on the sex as long as they have good skill in that job. For example, hitherto, a man can become a barber in women's barber shop because he has a great skill in cutting hair and making an amazing female hair's style. It is totally different with few years ago which is male cannot take that job because of the different sex. At that time, it might be the ancient people think male will damage women's hair, hence they do not allow cutting the women's hair.

Subsequently, someone's success is not based on the genders. If people give the big effort to get something, they could take it all. Moreover, skill can be created by giving training for the people. For instance, females could be more success in repairing of a car than males as women have the high automotive skill. Although the automotive job is a men job, it does not mean that women cannot do it also. From that example shows that there is no gender needed to become a successful person.

To summarize, all of the people have similar chance to do everything in their life, and giving more efforts is one of the key to gain the success, not based on the genders.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WT I : The donation of UK citizens by the generasion gap for 1990 and 2010 [2]

The donations by UK people

The chart gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Answer :

The donation of UK citizens by the generasion gap for 1990 and 2010 is provided by the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that the highest population who share their money for helping each other was people in the age of 30s years old above whereas the lowest was from the below.

In 1990, the data of british society who turn to 18 until 50 years old was the more who always share their wealthy to social than in 2010, around 17% and 7% for the age of 18-25, respectively. Moreover, for the age of 36 to 50 years old gave their money about 42% in 1990 and this reached a peak while only 34% in 2010.

Furthermore, in 2010, the elder around 51-65 above more did of charity than the young. It was the highest for that year about 39%, and this was larger 4% than the people who 36-50 and above of 65 years old. As a comparison, in 1990 the 50s and 60s people gave smaller than the 50s below. The number of people donated in this age was the same amount with the people of 36-50 in 2010, and lower around 3% for the age of about 65.

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