Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: Line chart comparing international conferences in 3 cities [5]

Please help me to make my essay better and free of mistakes. Thank you a lot for your support.

international conferences hosted by three cities

The line chart compares the number of international conferences hosted by three cities A, B, and C between 1980 and 2010. Overall, the quantity of international conferences in City A and B decreased while the number of City C, from the least in 1980, rocketed and ended up being the highest among all in 2010.

City A and City B experienced similar trends during the whole period of 30 years, with the former obtaining higher data most of the time. In 1980, the number of international conferences in cities A was 35, compared with 30 in city B. Both cities then witnessed narrowing fluctuations in the figures before holding the same number of 27 meetings in 2005. However, by 2010, meetings taking place in city B surpassed the number of city A, with 26 and 24 international conferences respectively.

In contrast, commencing at 0 in 1980, the quantity of global conferences that City C held surged to 20 after only 10 years and grew to 35 in 2000. Thenceforth, there was a slight decrease in the meeting number to 31 in 2010, yet city C still attained the first rank among the three cities.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: Line chart comparing electricity generated from 3 sources in New York [7]

Please help me to improve my essay. I did realize it is longer than it supposed to be, but I am not sure which information should be redundant.

amount of electricity produced from different energy sources

The given line chart compares how much electricity was generated from three sources to provide New York in two decades from 1980. While the quantity of petroleum and natural gas experienced upward trends, the remaining went down slightly. Also, petroleum always contributed the most energy while natural gas overtook coal to become the second common source of supply.

Commencing by 350 million kW hours in 1980, the petroleum figure rapidly increased to 600 million kW hours just 5 years later, before bound back to its beginning level in 1990. This figure then rose roughly two-fold to reach its peak at 720 million kW hours at the end of the observed period.

In 1980, there were around 210 million kW hours of electricity using the coal supply, compared with 100 million kW hours produced by natural gas. Afterwards, the amount of natural gas remained lower than the other for ten years before surpassed coal figure in 1990. During the next decade, the former underwent a remarkable growth of 300 million kW hours to top out at 500 million kW hours in 2000. Meanwhiles, coal generated a relatively stable amount of nearly 200 million kW hours in the period, making it end up at the lowest rank among the researched sources.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: Combined charts of household income and spending by an average UK family [3]

This is the first time I work with combined charts and I found it hard to arrange ideas. Please correct and advise me on that. Thank you a lot!

household income and spending on food and clothes

The given table describes the total earnings of a median family and the amount of money they paid for food and clothes in 2010 and 2013. The pie chart illustrates more specific proportion data of the later expenditure divided into five different categories. Generally, despite a fall in total family income, there was a salient increase in fruits and vegetables' spendings in the researched period.

As can be seen, the total money gained by a mediocre UK household in 2013 was 4,000 euros less when compared to 29,000 euros in 2010. In spite of that fact, people had the tendency to pay more for foodstuffs and attires in 2013 than in 2010, with 15,000 euros and 14,000 euros, respectively.

Regarding the circle chart, there was a decline in the proportion of clothes budget from 22% in 2010 to 12% in 2013. The percentage spent on meat and fish also dropped by 10% from 25% in 2010. In contrast, dairy products witnessed a growth in its rate from 15% to 20% in the same period. However, the most significant rise was 15% in the fruits and vegetables segment as it reached 35% in 2013 while there was no change in the figure of other food and drinks.

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