Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: Art classes, like painting and drawing, are not as important as other subjects [3]

Task: Art classes, like painting and drawing, are not as important as other subjects, so some people think that it should not be a compulsory subject at high school.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My answer:

Nowadays, more and more parents would like to send their children to attend some extra-curricular lessons such as painting, drawing, dancing etc. On the other hand, some people don't feel such art classes important to other subjects as maths, chemistry, physics and so on. Hence, it might be a tricky question if the art classes are still essential at school.

In fact, I think we should keep these art classes and I will take this question into three aspects: personal interests, learning environment and education structure.

Firstly, schools are the place for students not only to learn new knowledge but also to cultivate their own interests, especially for some students with an art gift. For example, one of the famous Mandarin pop singers, Jay Chou was no good at the academic subjects when he was in high school. However, he was pretty interested in writing songs, from which he could express what he felt. If the art classes were cancelled at his high school, he might not have a chance to learn the basic music theories, which helped him to pursue a music career in an art school after he graduated from high school. Hence, keeping the art classes is necessary for sure.

Secondly, in order to enter a good college or university, students at high school normally feel much nervous and competitive. With some art classes, it would be a unique opportunity to relax, which is more efficient for students to learn. Such as some hand-made works provide a place for students to get off their academic study.

Thirdly, there is not just one way to success. Different subjects play the equivalent role in one student's academic pursue. If all high schools only provide academic classes, students with diversified backgrounds won't exist in the end.

All in all, I believe art classes are as important as other subjects and should be expelled from high school's compulsory subjects.

(319 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, motorcycles are banned [3]

Task: Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, motorcycles are banned in the city center. Public transportations like buses, taxis and metros are advised.

To what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

My answer:

There is news saying that more and more cities are adopting a vehicle-free policy, which means during a specific day, vehicles are banned entering the center of the city. Expectedly, some people disagree with this policy. However, I feel the advantages of it would be way too much than the disadvantages.

First of all, in terms of personal expenses, there is no doubt that public transportation is cheaper than driving private cars. By public transportation, people could save more money for their own. For example, except for the oil expenses, insurance fee, parking fee, as well as some potential fees would cost the owner a lot, more than taking public transportation.

Secondly, cities, especially big cities, are facing increasing traffic congestion problems. A lot of cars, trucks or motorcycles on the street may cause a long waiting line for the people who are in those vehicles. If a person lives in the north of the city, sometimes it may take him or her almost one hour to arrive at the office by car. While, if there is one day that only public transportation such as buses or taxis are allowed in the city center, he or she could only spend 15 minutes to the office.

Last but not least, there are many strong researches showing that massive vehicles contribute a large portion of air pollution, which harms a lot to our planet. Setting some vehicle-free days could, on the one hand, decrease the pollution from vehicles; on the other hand, encourage more people to take public transportations at the most, unless necessary situation, in the long run. If people are more aware of how bad the current pollution issues are, each person's one tiny step toward protecting our environment would become a huge progress of human beings, to make our earth, the only homeland, a better place to live.

Considering the many advantages from personal to world aspects, I strongly believe in that vehicle should be restricted in the center of a city for some specific days.

(336 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay. Job satisfaction versus job security, which one is more important? [3]

Task :Some people say job satisfaction is more important than job security, others think people cannot always enjoy their jobs. So having a permanent job is more important.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

My answer:

Job satisfaction versus job security, which one is more important? Obviously, different people have different preferences and there is no standard answer for it. I will discuss the common features of the two groups in three aspects.

Firstly, it is the age. People who think enjoying themselves during work is quite important tend to be younger at age, while the other group might be more middle aged or older. Young people just enter into society within a short period and they feel less pressure during work. For them, an interesting job and relaxing working place would be their priority when choosing a job. However, older people have more responsibilities to take, which means more costs and expenses for their daily life. For example, they might have a monthly mortgage, car insurance, and fixed education expenses for their child. They just can't burden losing a job when they have so many payables.

Secondly, it is the attitude of life. People who always have a positive attitude to their life are usually more confident for their choices they have made. They are not afraid of losing a job or being at a gap until they find a job they really like and enjoy. People, who are on the contrary, are usually cautious to their decisions. For example, they can't make themselves 1oo% guaranteed that by quitting from a not-so-pleasant job, the next job offer would be more acceptable or enjoyable. Considering the current job is permanent and they don't need to care for losing it, they will persuade themselves to just take it.

Although each side has its benefits, I would rather always choose a job that I really like. I used to work at a real estate consultancy company as an analyst, which was also pretty suitable for my major in finance and business. I was feeling this job was a decent one and I would take it as the first step of my career development. However, I didn't feel happy during the job, because I just don't like reports, data, statistics, calculations and endless meetings with clients. I like the art stuff more and always dream of being an artist.

I found myself less efficient during that job, while I could contribute a lot to some part time jobs that related the art I enjoyed. After six months, I decided to resign from the real estate firm and started to do my own art business, which I find I was so enjoying everyday. Since then, even more overtime works happened, I never feel tired and I think I could keep the pace until retirement.

Therefore, if I have to choose one from satisfication or stability, I will choose the first one for sure, and I do hope each one could not only enjoy their jobs but also their life.

(472 words)

Writing Feedback / In order to ease traffic congestion issues, some proposed to provide free public transportation [2]

Task：
The best way for the government to solve traffic congestion is to provide free public transport 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

Do you agree or disagree?

(Note: i realized i have written too long for this essay, but since i just start practicing, i hope i could keep the first version of my work as a reference for my further study of writing. )

Nowadays, more and more cities, especially big cities are facing traffic congestion problems very badly. In order to ease such issues, some people proposed to provide free public transportation all the time. It seems like a good way to solve this problem, but from my point of view, only temporally.

People who regard free public transport as the solution to traffic congestion are taking the transport cost and traffic condition as a cause and effect relationship incorrectly. They think with a higher public transportation price, people tend to drive their own cars, thus causing the street to become more and more crowded. If there is no cost when taking public transportation, people will convert to commute by bus or metro.

The bigger holes of the inference above is that the cost of driving a private car is higher than that of public transportation sometimes, considering gas expenses, car insurance, parking fee, and etc. People who are used to driving a car to commute won't choose to take a bus instead suddenly only if the bus is free.

In fact, public transport does help to release traffic congestion pressure to some extent, but not in the way of how much it takes, but the public transport environment as well as its service.

Firstly, we should be more aware of why people are willing to pay more to drive their car than save money by taking a bus. Private car is cleaner, though it costs more than public transport. Meanwhile, driving their own car could avoid crowded people especially during peak hours. For example, Japan's railways, also known as Shinkansen, are one of the main ways for people to commute. Every weekday morning, thousands of people enter the cabin and stand like the Sardine in a can. If one person among them has the ability to afford a private car, he or she would definitely not take the railway to go to the office anymore.

Secondly, a reasonable route design and interval will attract more people to take public transport. One of the best services of metro is Hong Kong MTR, which is famous for its on-time approach and departure. MTR provides a massive schedule during the peak hour, so that it could even only take half or one minute to get on the next train if you miss the last train. Besides, MTR's coverage is wide and well-designed that no matter where you live, you could reach your destination within one hour.

All in all, I don't agree to provide free public transport only for solving traffic congestion. Improving public transpor's environment and service is the key to this problem.

(440 words)