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Posts by phuongtrang56780 [Suspended]
Name: Pham Phuong Trang
Joined: May 24, 2021
Last Post: May 28, 2021
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Viet Nam
School: University of Economic and Law

Displayed posts: 5
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phuongtrang56780   
May 24, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: WORKING AND STUDYING FROM HOME, USING CLOUD-BASED SERVICES [2]

Hello everyone, I am a newbie on this website. I am studying English myself and plan to take the IELTS test next two months. My target for Writing is about 6.5. Here is one of my practices and I am glad to receive all of your feedback.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


During Covid-19, the online-based technologies for working or learning from home are becoming familiar globally. As far as I am concerned, these helpful developments have changed our human life positively.

Firstly, the more people get access to these tools, the more affordable their price for one user is. When the apps and websites used for telecommuting gain popularity, there will be much more players providing this kind of service. Under the pressure of competition, service suppliers will cut down their costs and prices.

Secondly, working and studying online means that student doesn't have to go to school and adults don't need to be at the office all day. In a long run, that could be a low-cost and reasonable solution for all organizations in view of the fact that they needn't have as many facilities as they used to. Thus, they could save a relatively huge amount of money on utility bills. About children, their parents are able to pay lower tuition fees because other expenses for schools have gone.

Last but not least, although teleconferencing and distance education are not as effective as direct interaction, there are still some obligatory circumstances that we have to use them. To illustrate, in the case of pandemics like Covid-19, it is practically impossible to hold classes and meetings offline. That is the reason why Zoom which is a cloud-based app providing videotelephony and online chat services achieved its success and rose up as a billion-dollar business.

In conclusion, we are not able to do the whole task online using cloud-based services. Nevertheless, teleworking and distance education are now well-received all over the world. Anyway, it cannot be denied that these technologies are useful and necessary for our life.
phuongtrang56780   
May 25, 2021
Writing Feedback / [ Writting Task 2 ] Rent vs Own: Pros and Cons [4]

@Kyet

It is disputed that

=>> It is still a bitter controversy

they can be proud to show it to their friends

=>> they can show it off to their friends

it becomes a difficulty

=>> it is becoming more and more challenging

thus, people can be free to ... Beneficially, it means people do not have ...

I think there is something reverse in the sequence of meaning here. In my opinion, it should be:
=>> Owning a house means that people can benefit from not changing ceaselessly their accommodations like renting a house, thus, they are free to decorate their house with their favorite styles

There are some feedbacks that I think it is helpful for you. I hope you can complete your writing day by day
phuongtrang56780   
May 25, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: DRIVING TEST PASS RATES [3]

Hi everyone, I am going to take the IELTS test next two months. I am glad to receive your feedback about my essay, thank you!

percentage of PEOPLE WHO passed THEIR driving test



A driving license is one of the most important identifications that one individual should have. The chart gives some information visually about the percentage of driving tests passed between men and women from 1980 to 2010.

Through 30 years, the ratio of women who passed their driving test has always been higher than this of men. It can be seen from the chart that almost half of women had driving licenses during the 1980s. Since then, this proportion has still increased and peaked at 68% in 2000. However, in the following ten years, it jumped down, to a lesser extent, 64%.

In regard to other gender, there was about a quarter of men passing their driving tests in 1980. This percentage grew rapidly during the 1990s and got nearly double in 2000. It seems like there was no change in the following ten years since then.

Overall, there are more women than men having driving licenses for 30 years. Nonetheless, this proportion of women tends to decrease while there are more and more men passing their driving tests.



  • 3a99ec43c6524c638.png
phuongtrang56780   
May 28, 2021
Writing Feedback / Writing task 2: People say that a country will benefit greatly if its students study abroad. [3]

it is beneficial for a nation to let ...

=>> A nation can benefit from letting its students pursue education in an international environment.

when students study abroad, the new ...

=>> when studying overseas, pupils get an opportunity to approach the latest knowledge in that country.

breakthoughs

I think it should be 'breakthroughs'

I hope my feedback helpful for you
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