Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: BAR CHART ABOUT WEEKLY EXPENDITURE. [2]

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

MY ESSAY:
The bar chart given presents data on how households in one particular nation spent their weekly income in the years 1968 and 2018.

Overall, the way families in this country spent their weekly income changed significantly over the period shown. Most notably, although in 1968 most families' weekly income went into food, households spent most on housing and leisure in 2018.

In 1968 weekly income of each family to buy food was at 35%, around three times higher than that on housing, clothing and footware. During this year, the proportion of weekly income spent on household goods, personal goods, transport, leisure and fuel never exceed 10%.

In the next 50 years, the percentage of weekly income spent on food halved to around 17%, lower than housing and leisure which were about 18% and 22% respectively. The expenditure on personal goods, clothing and footware also fell heavily in 2018. Meanwhile, each household's weekly income proportion on fuel and power decreased slightly by 2% and this percentage for household goods did not vary during this period.

(173 words)

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Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: TENDENCY TO BE SELF-EMPLOYED. [3]

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or an organization.

Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

MY ESSAY:

These days, more and more people have a propensity to be self-employed instead of being employees of any corporations or organizations. There are several possible reasons for this case and we cannot deny some certain drawbacks of this development.

To commence with, there have been a number of reasons for people choosing to have their own business. Firstly, people nowadays are getting more and more initiative, thus they do not want to be followers but leaders. Since being self-employed can give these individuals chances to take the initiative, they opt for building up their businesses and becoming owners. Take the example of my uncle, after having been turned down several times for a position in a company that he applied to, he went for building up a company of his own and his enterprise made a great success. Second, many people especially the young would prefer to challenge themselves by becoming freelancers in many facets of work. It is undeniable young persons could possibly perform their best potential when being independent in their work.

Nevertheless, this trend could bring people unexpected disadvantages. To begin with, if one does not have enough necessary to be self-employed and keeps moving on with this path, they could be more prone to failure. Some latest published research has shown that a high rate of young people's own businesses went bankrupt due to lack of experience. Additionally, in order to be self-employed, one needs to have a stable financial basement in advance, thus people need to be well-prepared for this decision, which requires a lot of time.

In conclusion, the tendency to be initiative and to experience challenges in work prompt people to be self-employed. However, this development can bring people some drawbacks about unwanted failure and expose them to the financial burden.

(299 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: IS READING BETTER THAN WATCHING TV? [2]

It has been said that people who read for pleasure have more developed imaginations and language skills than people who prefer to watch TV.
Do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words and include any relevant example.

MY ESSAY:

It has been argued that reading for pleasure can increase people's imagination as well as language skills more than watching TV. I personally disagree with this point of view and support the opposite side when watching TV could be better in this case.

To commence with, watching TV is a better way of boosting one's imagination than reading for pleasure. When watching TV, we could observe numerous vivid animated pictures, which helps us explore more of the world around human life. Meanwhile, reading could not provide us with a wide range of pictures and especially no lively sound. For instance, some experts have stated that children should be encouraged to watch programs on the animal world or colorful cartoons in order to stimulate their sense of imagination.

In addition, while it is acceptable that reading can be beneficial to improving language skills, I am convinced that watching TV could bring more advantages. Nowadays, the more learning foreign languages become everyone's need, the more active people become in finding the best methods to learn these language skills and most of them opt for learning through programs on TV. People tend to be more attracted to lectures about foreign languages on TV than lessons or funny stories in books. For example, one can develop listening and speaking skills through music programs or hilarious conversations on TV.

In conclusion, while both reading for pleasure and watching TV can be advantageous to improving the sense of imagination and language skills, I firmly believe that we ought to watch TV more often so as to gain more developed imagination as well as linguistic abilities.

(266 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: ADVERTISING [NEW]

These days consumers are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various companies.
To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertising?
What measures should be taken to protect them?
Write at least 250 words.

In this day and age, most brands have numerous strategies to promote their products, especially through various forms of advertisements. This makes consumers face an increase in the amount of daily advertising. I personally believe that this propensity is both advantageous and disadvantageous to consumers. Therefore, solutions must be taken in time in order to protect customers from detrimental sides.

To commence with, advertisements from companies could have some positive impacts on the customers. Since advertising programs provide consumers with a variety of products and brands, these consumers could have a wide range of choices when purchasing their items. In other words, the increase in advertising nowadays has met many consumers' matters of taste. This development, however, can be a harmful influence on the customers. The more advertising is put out, the more customers would face false advertisements. These untrue advertisements would give consumers incorrect information about the items they purchase, which can make the consumers waste their money on products with unpleased qualities.

In order to protect consumers from unexpected consequences, governmental institutions had better implement more appropriate policies to stop the increase in untrue advertisements. One measure for this is that we would fine heavily companies or brands' untrue advertisements and even place a permanent sales ban on these items. Next, customers should be aware of the drawbacks of purchasing their products through advertising programs. They should make wise decisions when buying an item. Thus, taking the price and quality of the products into consideration is a must for everyone.

In conclusion, the increase in the amount of advertising has brought consumers both beneficial and harmful influences. Therefore, measures to prevent customers from negative sides should be taken and this responsibility belongs to the government and each individual.

(290 words)