birzhanfm
Dec 15, 2009
Undergraduate / A sigificant experience - hoping that my stutter would disappear [5]
Commonapp prompt 1:Evaluate a sigificant experience,achievement,risk you have taken, or ethical dilemmma you have faced and its impact on you.
I wrote my lifestory.All feedback would be very helpful. I am hestitating about this essay, because I think that my stutter can influence their decision. Therefore I will appreciate all comments.
I remember how I shuttled between a literature book and a notebook of my therapists in order to get "A" for the literature class in the middle school. I assured myself that failures left in the past and victories were waiting in the future. I worked hard on a new method of therapy hoping that my stutter would disappear.
When I came to the class an unknown examiner asked me to narrate an old Kazakh myth "Alpamys".
I mobilized myself and said:
"b-b-bul k-k-kazak..."
I stopped, I tried one more time. But again I failed. I tried to utilize all my practice lessons; however I understood that they were useless. I could not control my speech. I saw the examiner getting furious. I could see my classmates' scornful faces and could hear their laugh, which I had been hearing for 7 years. Suddenly the examiner interrupted my thoughts by saying:
"Moldagaliyev, you are not ready, "F". I ran out of the class with eyes full of tears. I approached an old tree and sit nearby.
I did not return my house because my mother would say:"Everything is going to be okay". However, I thought that nothing could be okay for the biggest loser. It was funny that at the age of 5 I dreamt to become a great scientist or a politician. Indeed, I saw no famous people stuttering. Therefore, I thought who I am to become famous, while all other stutterers left as mediocre people. I condemned that day when I met that dog which caused my stutter. I was upset, because I was so unlucky to become a stutterer, knowing that only 2% off all people are stutterers.
Unlike me my father always believed in my healing. He refuted all the "social facts" by leading me to singing and debating classes. He worked on 3 jobs to pay for my therapy in Moscow. He always said to me: all people laugh at you because they fear your greatness. He taught me to look at things only positively. Because of his advice I started to appreciate all surrounding things, because they can be ruined sometime, as my fluent speech did. I was glad that I became walking thesaurus because I used to interchange words starting with consonants. Since then I never envied my peers who speak fluently, because I knew that there is something inside me that make greater than most of them.
The only place where I forgot about my stutter were different math classes.Math competitions were a vital part of my life. The main thing I learned was that if you really want something you should go for it on your own. After that I gave up going to the speech therapists. I practiced my techniques; I had zillion failures but they were much more satisfactory than previous ones.
By doing extensive internet research I found new method which called "Air flow technique". This method was successful to me; stutter decreased considerably. Afterwards I translated this research papers into Kazakh and Russian with reference to authors in order to give to stutterers I had known. I even gave some introductory lectures on that method on Almaty stuttery foundation. I experienced greatest relief when I realized that people became more optimistic after my speeches. I understood that I became great by helping those peoples. Moreover I decided to support stutterers ever since that day.
Earlier I considered each my day as a failure or a lost opportunity. I even get used to failures and tried to conceive people that I did not care about my stutter. But now I think that each of those days were the days of the greatest victories. Though I referred to myself as a loser, subconsciously I said to myself: "Tomorrow I will try a new method against stutter".
Thank you in advance
Birzhan Moldagaliyev
Commonapp prompt 1:Evaluate a sigificant experience,achievement,risk you have taken, or ethical dilemmma you have faced and its impact on you.
I wrote my lifestory.All feedback would be very helpful. I am hestitating about this essay, because I think that my stutter can influence their decision. Therefore I will appreciate all comments.
I remember how I shuttled between a literature book and a notebook of my therapists in order to get "A" for the literature class in the middle school. I assured myself that failures left in the past and victories were waiting in the future. I worked hard on a new method of therapy hoping that my stutter would disappear.
When I came to the class an unknown examiner asked me to narrate an old Kazakh myth "Alpamys".
I mobilized myself and said:
"b-b-bul k-k-kazak..."
I stopped, I tried one more time. But again I failed. I tried to utilize all my practice lessons; however I understood that they were useless. I could not control my speech. I saw the examiner getting furious. I could see my classmates' scornful faces and could hear their laugh, which I had been hearing for 7 years. Suddenly the examiner interrupted my thoughts by saying:
"Moldagaliyev, you are not ready, "F". I ran out of the class with eyes full of tears. I approached an old tree and sit nearby.
I did not return my house because my mother would say:"Everything is going to be okay". However, I thought that nothing could be okay for the biggest loser. It was funny that at the age of 5 I dreamt to become a great scientist or a politician. Indeed, I saw no famous people stuttering. Therefore, I thought who I am to become famous, while all other stutterers left as mediocre people. I condemned that day when I met that dog which caused my stutter. I was upset, because I was so unlucky to become a stutterer, knowing that only 2% off all people are stutterers.
Unlike me my father always believed in my healing. He refuted all the "social facts" by leading me to singing and debating classes. He worked on 3 jobs to pay for my therapy in Moscow. He always said to me: all people laugh at you because they fear your greatness. He taught me to look at things only positively. Because of his advice I started to appreciate all surrounding things, because they can be ruined sometime, as my fluent speech did. I was glad that I became walking thesaurus because I used to interchange words starting with consonants. Since then I never envied my peers who speak fluently, because I knew that there is something inside me that make greater than most of them.
The only place where I forgot about my stutter were different math classes.Math competitions were a vital part of my life. The main thing I learned was that if you really want something you should go for it on your own. After that I gave up going to the speech therapists. I practiced my techniques; I had zillion failures but they were much more satisfactory than previous ones.
By doing extensive internet research I found new method which called "Air flow technique". This method was successful to me; stutter decreased considerably. Afterwards I translated this research papers into Kazakh and Russian with reference to authors in order to give to stutterers I had known. I even gave some introductory lectures on that method on Almaty stuttery foundation. I experienced greatest relief when I realized that people became more optimistic after my speeches. I understood that I became great by helping those peoples. Moreover I decided to support stutterers ever since that day.
Earlier I considered each my day as a failure or a lost opportunity. I even get used to failures and tried to conceive people that I did not care about my stutter. But now I think that each of those days were the days of the greatest victories. Though I referred to myself as a loser, subconsciously I said to myself: "Tomorrow I will try a new method against stutter".
Thank you in advance
Birzhan Moldagaliyev