Undergraduate / need feed back:UCF-How family history, culture, or environment influenced etc. [2]

Hi!
Will someone please help me fix up this essay?
It's a super rough draft, something I wrote in about 30 minutes.
Don't go easy though! Tell me if it sucks!
:]

How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?

Growing up, most kids make it a goal not to be like their parents. For example, kids who were abandoned would never think of leaving their future children on someone's doorstep. The goals I want to achieve in life are based off the hardships that I have seen my parents struggle through. These goals shape the way I feel about all aspects of life and helped develop the person I have become.

My parents live their lives according to what they have seen their own parents do. My mother has sworn that she will not have multiple children with multiple partners and has succeeded because she only has me and is still with my father after 23 years. The circumstances are ironic though because she does not really like my father and vice versa. My father was dirt poor and was raised alone by my grandfather. He feels entitled to buy whatever he wants because he now makes a sizable salary but has seem to forgotten the copious amounts of student loans and other debts he's racked up over the years.

I have learned through my parents a kind of maturity that I would not have received from anywhere else. Even though I abhor some of their methods I just might end up teaching my kids in the same exact way. The basic structure I have planned out for my life is to get a degree in a field I'm passionate in, settle down, and raise some good kids but the exact occurrences in my future are going to forever be unclear to me. Striving to do everything at my full potential, I will: take my time when looking for a spouse and settle down with someone who appreciates me fully, work together to save money for our retirement funds and our children's futures, and always work to fulfill my dreams no matter what obstacles come my way.

Writing Feedback / My parents' shouting matches - UCF obstacles/bump in the road [4]

hi!
this is really short
is that okay?
and it's also a super rough draft
tell me if it sucks :]

If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances

My parents' shouting matches are always shaking up my house. Sometimes, I could not even finish my homework. My focus was always shattered by, "You keep spending but won't pay off any debts" and "I work the money, I can do whatever I want". I began turning into a very angry child and had a short temper at school. Little Gabby would often think to herself, why do my parents argue? Is it somehow my fault? I am so worthless; what can I do if I cannot even stop my parents from arguing? The only other thing I can remember about my childhood is just wanting to escape. I found refuge in volunteering and giving to my community became a crucial part of my life. I first used volunteering as a legitimate reason to be out of my house but found it to be a fun experience. Two institutions, Parkway Christian Church and the Broward County Southwest Regional Library, became my homes away from home. I loved the environments they created and in turn gave a helping hand towards achieving their goals. In helping others, I was able to help myself overcome the anger my parents released into my home atmosphere. Those that I helped saw me as an overall good kid that always gave aid with a huge grin on her face, and I have actually begun to believe it myself.

Undergraduate / 'Screaming often shakes the foundation of my house'; Vires, Artes, Mores [3]

Hi!
tell me if it sucks! :]
any kind of help is welcome even if you think it's obvious

For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

Screaming often shakes the foundation my house sits on. My parents fight constantly and released a lot of anger into my home atmosphere. As an only child, I was often used as an element to guilt trip the other parent in their petty fights and began to feel like that would be all I was good for. My overall disposition became sulky and quick to anger when deep down all I wanted was to escape. One call from ASM Music School changed all of that. I began taking piano lessons and learning music not only gave me a head start at school, where I chose to play the tuba, but it also gave me a motivation to persevere. With music, I could drown out my parent's constant fights and concentrate on my schoolwork. The different varieties of music presented a way to release all my pent up emotion. The art of music brought me peace and strength.

Through the form of music, Artes brought me a strength that I could not have received anywhere else. I excelled in learning music because I felt the notes in my heart. Soon I was skipping levels and earning first place in many of my competitions. I gained confidence and finally felt that I was worth something, something valuable. My confidence let me shrug off the petty insults from other children and sometimes from my parents when they are angry. This strength within me knew my true value/worth and pushed me to take classes that challenged me and find a way to make myself comfortable in any new environment. One way I did this was through volunteering.

When I entered high school I stopped attending ASM Music School to make more time for studying, homework, and extracurricular activities. I was still very active in the music program at my school but I still needed a place I could call my home away from home. As luck would have it, I found two: Parkway Christian Church and Broward County Southwest Regional Library. Volunteering my time in these warm environments with fun and caring staff gave me an opportunity to be out of my house while having the time of my life. I gained a work ethic and a sense of responsibility had overcome me. These institutions needed to spread their own messages, messages that I believed in. I felt giddy just knowing that I was a part of it all, that I had helped.

Vires, Artes, and Mores all exist within me. They are all of one philosophy, so where you find one you must also discover the other two. Vires, to me, is the strength I gained from Artes and Mores; the strength to carry on and a willingness to pass on my knowledge. Artes is the element that motivated me to persevere in life. Catharsis gave me the ability to focus my energies outward rather than locking it up inside. Mores used my energies to volunteer and help others achieve their goals. These three torches will allow me to fit into the FSU community and share what I know to help other people.

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