Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by daft123
Joined: Dec 20, 2009
Last Post: Dec 29, 2009
Threads: 5
Posts: 8  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 13
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
daft123   
Dec 20, 2009
Undergraduate / Determined; Passionate; Open-minded - boston: three word that describe you best [3]

i think this essay is pretty good but when you say places. I have met new people, learnt new things and have been exposed to new ideas you should make it in the present tense rather than past tense because colleges seem to like that more so say Through meeting new people and learning new things and my exposure to new ideas...
daft123   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / An experience that either demonstrates your character... - U Washington [3]

Hey I could really use help and honest opinions and advice, Thanks!
(Corrections, suggestions, and grammatical advice would be greatly appreciated)

B) Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.

It was a Friday afternoon and school had ended early, leaving my friends and me with nothing better to do than to pursue our culinary interests and try deep frying. What could go wrong with hot oil, zucchini, potatoes and three girls with no previous deep frying experience?

My father had bought a small deep fryer that was the perfect size for fries and fried zucchini but as I did not know how to turn it on I had to resort to using a pan half full of oil. As one can predict when we dropped those water retaining vegetables into the oil it did not go well. Hot oil flew up and spilled everywhere, running down the cabinets below the cook top. Every fire alarm in the house was going off and the kitchen was filled with smoke.

I immediately sprung into action opening windows, covering the pan and cleaning up oil. It just so happened that this was a day my father chose to come home early. He walked in the house to find every window in the kitchen open and my friends and I mopping up oil and vegetable bits. Though my father saw the incident as a greasy mess I found the experience brought out a part of me that only grown since that day. Through all the panic and fear I had kept a level head and did everything I could to fix the problem. Whether faced with oil and undercooked vegetables or obstacles in my educational goals and life, I continue to stay level headed, a trait that has helped me throughout high school and one I will use to help me succeed as a woman in the engineering and computer world.
daft123   
Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Purdue College Education and goals [4]

Hey I would really appreciate some more ideas about what I could write about because the stuff that I have now is pretty boring.

1. Describe how your college education will allow you to achieve your personal or professional goals.

The life experiences and knowledge college offers will aid me in my future in the computer science and engineering world. Prominent Asian women in the engineering and science are scarce, but with the training and preparation from college courses I can succeed. I hope to gain an edge with a college education that will not only provide me with the knowledge for a career as a computer engineer but will also give me the aspect of working with new people and stepping out of my comfort zone to discover new things while allowing myself to mature. College education is important to me because without education after high school, I will not have a place to learn and thrive off of. The Purdue college education offers me a variety of courses so I will have many opportunities of growth and support. I hope to become a well rounded person with the opportunity to be engaged in different areas of knowledge in college. With the Purdue engineering programs I will be prepared and knowledgeable in areas of math and science and will have the necessary skills to aid me in my future career path.

Thanks
daft123   
Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Common Application: My sister [4]

Hi dan its Lynn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your best friend!!!!!!!!!
i think you should talk more about the new responsibities you had after she was born and talk about how it made you mature more etc. but its grammar and organization are all good so i think overall its fine.
daft123   
Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Brown essay on advice [2]

Hi, I think you should elaborate more on how you "walked the path" in the second paragraph. you could talk about how you made an effort to be engaged in her class and how that help her light the way for your new interests or gave you a higher level of knowledge.

But this is a well written essay and i see no problems with grammar or organization
(please take a look at my purdue essay if you can!)
daft123   
Dec 27, 2009
Undergraduate / What would you choose to do over and what changes would you make? [4]

Hey my organization could use some help so if you have any suggestions do tell thanks!

I came home after the first day of Chinese school crying. A girl told me to close my eyes and then cracked all my knuckles, I had to wake up early on a Saturday and I got writing homework. It was not enjoyable. Things got better after that first day and friendships were made which made the learning experience easier. But my friends were not enough to keep me interested in attending the school, despite years of classes I was still doing poorly in reading and writing Chinese and my favorite part of Chinese school was the recess before and after class. For years I complained about having to go until I stopped going in the third grade. I think back to the opportunity of learning my native language and deeply regret that I wasn't more dedicated. When I was younger I spoke Chinese well enough so when my family and I went to China to see my relatives I could still communicate with them. A few years ago my grandparents came to spend a summer with my family and I was disappointed to find that I could not communicate with them. While I could understand what they were saying I could only speak broken Chinese and my grandparents could only speak broken English. I had only seen my grandparents once before then and I wished I knew Chinese so I could get to know them.

My family and I traveled back to China since our last trip eight years before. I was excited to see my relatives who had last seen me as a first grader and whom I had little memory of. Though I felt the love from my family the language was a barrier that prevented me from really knowing them and having a conversation without my mother having to translate. At that point I felt enormous pangs of regret for not having learned Chinese; I had missed out on bonding with my family and getting to know their life stories and personalities. I wish I had broken the language barrier between Chinese and English when I was younger and had the chance.

Not learning Chinese has been one of my biggest regrets and if I could go back I would have changed my habits and actions. If I could go back in time, back to the child I was I would never have quit Chinese school. I have now realized the doors language opens and have seen how a lack of language can impact life and relationships. If I was back at Chinese school as an eight year old I would have used the resources I had such as my parents and teacher. Instead of complaining about getting up early I would wake eager and ready to learn. Not only would I read my Chinese textbook but also the Chinese novels at my house. I would speak Chinese at home to keep myself in the mode of the dialect and these efforts combined would have allowed me to communicate with my family and others.
daft123   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - Topic of your choice - Dreams Deferred [40]

Hi there, your opening paragraph is great and really draws the reader in so i wouldnt change anything about that if you want you can add what you gained personally and educationally from your experience and how that even though you didnt win you gained something that made the time spent worth while.

Dreams Deferred sounds good to me
When i was reading this i though of the song Imagine and the line thats like Some say im a dreamer but im not the only one

maybe you could use something from that songs lyrics?
overall the essay is well written though
please take a look at my essay!
daft123   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / Williams Supplement- what it means to never give up [2]

I see nothing wrong with this essays and im sure colleges will love it the only thing is with the sentence below

As we moved further and further down the street I saw a man- tackily clothed, barefooted and malnourished.

dont use - because its not really necessary to have to use it

As we moved further and further down the street I saw a man tackily clothed, barefooted and malnourished.
daft123   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / 2002 Olympic Experience for U Washington [2]

B) Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.

In 2002 I was invited to dance with "The Children of Light" in the Opening and Closing Ceremonies of the Winter Olympics. Although it was a once in a lifetime opportunity that gave me the honor to represent my state, practice for the event involved a lot of hard work and dedication. All the time and energy spent paid off during performances and I learned lessons from the experience that have shaped and added to the person I am today.

There were exhausting evening rehearsals that lasted from five to nine at least three times a week from November to February; in the cold and snow that Utah winters brought, it was not always easy to travel from my house to the center of downtown. In addition, I still had to be committed to my other activities outside of rehearsals. While eagerly preparing for my grand moment at the Opening and Closing Ceremonies, I learned to plan to take care of my homework, violin practice and Chinese school without missing rehearsals; I later used these planning skills to handle my AP tests and violin lessons in junior year. I learned the need for planning but more importantly, I gained a sense of accountability and punctuality. I knew that if I came to rehearsal late, my group would have to wait for my costume change, and everyone would end up staying longer than they had to. And despite long practices there was no excuse for being late with school work or missing violin practice.

As the date of the Opening Ceremony drew closer practices became longer and more frequent. I found it harder to be persistently energetic and lively when I had been practicing for hours in the cold with nothing but hot chocolate for fuel, but I the drive I had to keep up the performance gave me the motivation continue. With persistence and my goal to shine at every practice my skills as a dancer grew and assets that would make up my character grew as well.

When I first walked into the stadium stage the sights and sounds awed me. In the dark of the night the crowd's small flashlights shone brighter than the stars. I thought back on the hours of rehearsals (and hours of cold) and it made me proud that I had not only made it to the stage but had learned something from the experience that would add to the foundation of a successful being. I had not only gained the opportunity to open and close for an event watched by the world but had also gained something in myself. It was during the months of rehearsals that I learned skills that allowed me to become a more mature person and gave me the confidence that I could take any obstacle and pass through hurdles in life with proper planning, timing, and drive.

With the skills that I gained from my participation in the Olympic ceremonies, I know I will be a good planner as well as a punctual and responsible student. I have carried these lessons throughout my life beyond my preparation for the Opening and Closing Ceremonies and hope to use them to contribute to my college and community of people I will be "dancing" with.

Snaps for anyone who read the whole thing sorry its long
thanks!
daft123   
Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Chinese and American Cultures and Family Eating [2]

Describe an experience of cultural difference, positive or negative, you have had or observed. What did you learn from it?

My friends were always a little surprised when they came to my house for dinner as I was when I went to theirs. My family follows the traditional Chinese eating style which is family style and when my friends came over they felt it was odd that my family sat together and shared dishes for every meal. When I went to my American friends houses for dinner I would find myself getting food for myself like at a small buffet and seeing members of the family getting food and eating at different times, usually taking their plate with them to their rooms. This difference between the Chinese family style meals and the American self-portion meals stems from the different values each culture places on family.

The difference in eating styles can be seen in restaurants today. In a traditional Chinese restaurant like the Ho Ho Gourmet, a family orders a few dishes and shares them. Because of this Chinese restaurants serve dishes that are laid out on large platters and give each family member an empty plate to fill with the choices on the table. Traditional American restaurants such as Applebee's each member of the family the option to order their own dish and meals are commonly served in baskets or plates that fit only the individual's portion.

In China staying with the family is an important part of life and is a common tradition. Many families live close to or with each other even as their children are adults. Children are taught to stay close with the family and to take on secure, traditional roles as a profession. These ideals of the Chinese differ from Americans in that Americans strive to raise children who will become independent and successful adults. Independence is more valued in the American home and the idea of living close to or with parents or relatives as an adult is undesirable to most.

The difference in family structure and roles of Asian and American culture has also shaped each culture's eating customs. There is a Chinese saying that in English literally translates to "If your parents are alive, don't travel far". In China it is common for three generations to live under the safe roof and many see living with and caring for elderly family members as a respectful thing to do. In American culture, children are encouraged to leave the nest and become dependent on themselves rather than live with their parents.

I equally enjoy the option I have of eating family style and being able to choose what I want at restaurants. Each way of eating is important to me, family style in that I can be with my whole family for that time and I can have a wide variety of foods on a single plate and individual orders in that I can choose what I want and the meal is completely mine. I appreciate both styles of eating and am thankful that I have the Asian American background that offers me individuality and family tradition.

thanks for reading kids, i will try to get back to your essays if asked
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳