Writing Feedback / Education and scientific researches in developing vs. industrialized counties [2]

Please correct my IELTS essay and give a score?
I would greatly appreciate it

The three bar charts compare interest to education and scientific researches both in developing countries and industrialized countries during the 1980s.
It is clear in the first chart that, people in industrialized countries have spent more years in school than developing countries' people. Also, as years went by the number of years rose for both groups from near 2.5 years in 1980 to 3.5 years in 1990 in developing countries and for industrialized countries the numbers were tripled.

The trend in second chart is the same as previous chart. There were a considerable increase in number of scientists and technicians in industrialized countries, while the growth in developing countries was not remarkable.

According to the charts, there were growth trends in all figures, exception is the amount of money which have been spent on research and development in developing countries. Money decreased doubled between 1990 and 1980 from US $ 50 million to US $ 25 million. In noticeable contrast, there were more than twice as much money spend in industrialized countries in 1980 than that of in 1990.

In general, the rate of development in education and science in industrialized countries was more than that of in developing countries.

Thanks alot.
Ana

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, It is unfair to have children engaged in some kind of paid work [5]

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

Nowadays, children works are controversial issue all around the world. The special laws have been legislated to protect children against working. I think, despite working can be a valuable experience, for children is unfair.

Every different stage of live bring its own requisites. In childhood, playing and staying far from stresses and tensions are essential for kids. They need to discover and touch world whit their own point of views. One the other hand, to avoid early mature in children, contributing in adult lives must be limited. Many stories have been written based on children who suffer from early mature that argue about how important is for children to stay far away from adults activities.

Nobody can protect children in environmental works. It is clear that all employers are not reliable. Children are vulnerable and it is easy to exploit them. Unfortunately, a lot of news have been reported about abusing children by their employers. Moreover, in most of the time children are threatened to remain silent. In this condition, because of fear they never protest and abusing continue for a long time.

In spite of listed problems, everybody knows that working increase the experience and children responsibilities. During the hours work, every employee face with variety of difficulties; with finding, tackling and solving problems children can become ready for more progressive activities.

In conclusion, although children can promote their life knowledge and earn money in safe working place, I prefer to let them play and enjoy of their childhood together with their little friends.

Thanks for your comments

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing CO2 emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union [2]

could you Please revise my IELTS essay? I can not upload the charts so I write its address: examenglish.com/IELTS/IELTS_writing.htm

The table below shows CO2 emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The two charts show, How many grams of CO2 emissions are emitted in different types of transport Moreover, how percentage of European Union fund is being spent on each forms of transportation between 2000 and 2013?

According to the charts, Air transport is the biggest producer of co2 emission, over 370 grams for each passenger. Despite the high level of pollution in this transport form, just 1 percent of fund is being expended on airports. Only one-third grams of co2 gases in air transport are produced in passenger cars, nearly 125 grams for each passenger while the grams of co2 are produced from buses is twice fewer than those producing from cars, under 70 grams. Because of prominent role of cars in air pollution, the majority of money is being invested in roads, 52% of total fund.

It is clear that Together with rail and maritime, coaches are one of the three cleanest forms of transportation. Fewer than 50 grams of co2 are being emitted for each passenger in those three types of transportation. After Roads, the considerable amount of fund are being spent on railways, just 31 % , whilst the percentage of fund for ports and inland waterways are less, 2% and 1%, respectively.

Thanks alot

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay/ describing the information in the two graphs below [2]

Dear friends
Please help me in revising my IELTS essay

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the two graphs below.
you can find the charts in this link

The two pie charts compare the best level of education for female in someland in 1945 and 1995.
Overall, the level of education increased considerably over fiftieth - year period.
In 1945, almost three quarter of women had less than 3 years of education, half of them, 35%, were illiterate and another half had third grade. In the same time, only 15 percent of women in someland spent maximum 6 years in school. As years went by, the minimum level of education rose to 9 years in 1995. On the other hand, there were no women who studied less than 9 years in school. The percentage of women who were 9 years students remained constant, at 10 % for both years.

According to the charts, in 1945 the best level of education was first degree, followed by 12 years, the percentage of women for them were 1% and 4%, respectively; while the half of women had first degree in 1995. Post graduated females and women who spent maximum 12 years in school accounted for 20% separately. The remaining segment was 10% which belonged to women whose highest level of education were 10 years.

Thanks for your helpful comments

Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY, how three countries (USA, UK and Malaysia) deal with dangerous waste [2]

Please tell me How can I upload picture and give your suggestions in my essay.
The following pie charts and the table show how three countries (USA, UK and Malaysia) deal with dangerous waste. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

You should write at least 150 words.
The link of charts:

ielts-blog/reports/ielts-academic-writing-task-1-pie-charts.gif

ielts-blog/reports/ielts-academic-writing-task-1-table-waste.gif

The three pie charts compare different forms of handling dangerous waste in three countries. The table shows how much weight of waste materials were produced in those countries in 2000.

According to the charts, the half of dangerous waste are buried in landfill dump in USA, while this method is the least popular forms of dealing with waste in Malaysia and UK, 30% and 15% respectively. The same and largest percentages of waste product are disposed in UK and Malaysia, 45%, but this way is applied only for 20% of product in America. Recycled is account for 25% in Malaysia, 20% in USA and 40% in UK.

The biggest producer of waste material was America in 2000. Plastic bags were the weightiest waste product, 60 million tons in USA and 50 million tons in Malaysia, in America followed by industrial chemical, 50 million tons. The least weight of waste product was generated in UK. Industrial chemicals, clinical and electronic waste nearly 10 million tons and 32 million tons of plastic bags.

Thanks

Writing Feedback / IELTS; "No boundary for art";Why creative artists be given freedom to express ideas! [2]

Please let me improve my essay by your comments and guess what score is appropriate for this essay

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

There is no boundary for art. Culture and existence of each society is identified by its artists. The artists are people who reflect true to life of each society, they are the treasure of our world and must be respected. I think restriction of creative artists' believes show the government inability to confront the trust and reality.

There were several artists and scientist who were accused of having negative effect on public opinion. They were punished by long prison sentences or even by death because of their ideas, while by passing the times the community understood that they were innocent and victims of dictatorship and ignorance. For example, Khosrow Golsorkhi ,a poet who write about freedom in Iran, was executed by Pahlavi regime.

The artists' works are representative of life and believes of ordinary people. Most of effective films, books and other types of art have been inspired of social and real events. On the other hands, their art is similar to mirror which reflect the reality of society. If violence, discrimination, radical ideas or criticism of government are the subjects of making art, they are e xist on society and hiding them is not the solution. in this condition dictatorship government don't let artists to works freely, people should support them.

Although, restriction of people ideas and believes is against human's right, some limitations need necessary. Nowadays, by surfing on the Internet everybody access to whatever she/ he wants. Not every films and books are suitable and useful for different age groups. The movies , music and book which increase tendency of people toward sexual abuse, assaults, addicting to drug and violence should be assessed and limited.

To sum up, I believe that government might not to restrict artists for their art but if some art increase the amount of risky behavior among people especially younger should be concerned and limited.

Ana