Undergraduate / "to improve and develop international business relationships" - UoP Supplement 2010! [5]

Penn has been on the top of my list for as long as I can imagine. At the moment, I can't even begin to think of any other university that I'd like to attend; I'm applying to Wharton. I'll take any criticisms and comments you can offer; give me you're best shot ;). Thanks.

Topic: Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn? (500 words max.)

With the ever-evolving global economy, the need to improve and develop international business relationships is becoming increasingly crucial. As a young entrepreneur, I am coming to realize the importance of business networking from a national level to a global spectrum. I am currently the Special Projects Officer for the Circles of Color L.L.C., a business network organization encouraging minorities to exchange strategies, ideas, and knowledge between professionals, entrepreneurs, and "the next generation". As a representative of "the next generation", I have collectively collaborated with other members who share the same passion for the challenges that the competitive business world brings, regardless of their ages. If accepted into Penn, I plan to bring the COC business network to an international level, engaging with other peers with the same passion and interest in the global market. As young entrepreneurs begin to form business connections globally, it would be beneficial from an academic as well as an ethnic point of view, since business etiquette is vastly different from Eastern to Western cultures. Stimulating minorities of all ethnic backgrounds to collaborate and engage in an entrepreneurial setting will allow prospective entrepreneurs to become exposed to the multifarious, constantly changing business environment. The opportunity to exercise this global level skill with college students who share the same motivation and initiatives will increase their experience and widen their perspective. COC International offers the preparation for future endeavors in the competitive business world. With technology accelerating exponentially, members would conduct meetings and presentations through the Internet and web cameras. Imagine having a Sunday brunch with a colleague in Switzerland, through the Internet, to discuss the Swiss chocolate market or even how the winter sport business is doing during its peak season. Based on my own experience as a COC member, I plan to present this opportunity to other young entrepreneurs with the same mind-set and aspirations to strengthen the Penn and global communities.

Not only do I plan to introduce the COC International Business Network to Penn, but I also plan to engage myself with Penn's established activities. Although Penn offers such an array of extracurricular activities in the business field, there are specific clubs that have caught my eye. Among them is Penn Microfinance, the largest undergraduate microfinance organization in the United States, which initially sparked my interest as I was talking to my Penn tour guide about the clubs at Penn. The idea of an international club that provides a phenomenal experience along with the opportunity to help others in poverty combined my two biggest passions: the business world (demonstrated through COC) and giving back to those in need (demonstrated through Habitat for Humanity). With China becoming an increasingly powerful economic movement, my particular interest in the research aspect of the microfinance movement would be to help develop a business plan for an NGO in China called Daba Ecology and Poverty Research Society. Although I am a citizen of the United States, there is a limitless amount of knowledge and opportunity that I can gain and reciprocate from expanding my interests to an international level, along with the guidance of Penn.

Undergraduate / "You never know who's watching" - experience that impacted you, common app essay [4]

The topic i chose was basically elaborate on an experience that impacted you. Read it through, criticize me, I only want to improve :).

"Be prepared that the other player might fake a shot and dribble around you, grow wings and fly to the basket," reminded my six foot five basketball coach to the team. My coaches have always told me to be ready for anything and to think about what I would do if the ball comes my way before the play actually happens- I never really applied this concept to my life until my first varsity basketball game during sophomore year. I grew up with basketball as a sport of leisure to me. I could shoot hoops with a few friends, dribble while walking around the park, and proudly and happily spin the ball on my finger to see how long it spun; however, this one basketball game was like a thousand of my coach's reminders rolled into one.

As I stepped out of the locker room into my schools newly renovated gymnasium, the smell of the fresh paint was quickly overcome by the smell of popcorn and the cheering of an unusually large crowd of spectators. It was our first home game, against our league's top rival. We played hard the entire game, but somehow the other team would always get an extra few shots to take the lead. By the end of the third quarter, most of my teammates, sweating profusive puddles of sweat, wanted to give up, but my closest teammate and I were not ready to throw in the towel, no matter how drenched with sweat it was. During the fourth quarter, we continued to play hard, score more baskets, and eventually inspired the rest of the team. Soon we were an unstoppable force, feeding off of each other's perseverance. It struck me how two players had influenced a whole team of sixteen girls, mostly upperclassmen. Although we did end up losing the game by a few points, we were satisfied with the way we played and evidently the crowd was just as proud of us. In fact, as I was walking out of the locker room with my bright maroon Adidas™ bag, a large man, well over six feet with dreadlocks called my jersey number and caught my attention. "Hey number two," he yelled. He had stopped to congratulate me on how well I played, but also how impressed he was by my perseverance. "I saw what you did out there, and it reminded me of myself," he said reminiscently. As we continued conversing, he asked what I wanted to pursue in life. When I responded I wanted to work in the business world, his eyes widened. He responded, "Well, I'm sure glad I came to watch this game." It turns out that he was the founder of the Circles of Color International Business Network looking for well-rounded individuals to represent the "Next Generation." He often gave on campus lectures to the AVID program and had just finished a lecture when he stopped by to support our school's basketball team. We exchanged contact information, and I walked out of the gym with a smile as wide as the Panama Canal.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that a simple high school basketball game would lead to eventually opening doors to endless connections and contacts in the business world. At the age of sixteen, I earned the position of Special Projects Executive Officer. As I attended more meetings, I came to realize I was the youngest in the room, but I was still given the same attention and respect as the CEO sitting two seats to the left of me. Being a sixteen year old in a room full of entrepreneurs, most with more years of experience than I have been alive, reminds me of how this all came about, every time. My coaches words, be prepared, rang true. I didn't work hard in that game to impress anyone in the stands. I worked hard for myself, and it paid off in the most rewarding, unforeseen way possible; it provided a unique opportunity. In life you'll never know what to expect, except to expect the unexpected. I began to realize that by working hard, utilizing certain skills, and doing something one had a passion for leads to success, which is truly when preparation meets opportunity.

Undergraduate / Habitat for Humanity Common App Short Answer [7]

Elaborate on an extracurricular activity.

Criticisms are the foundations to improvement soooo criticize as much as you can!

Every time I drive by the newly built, beige house on Wyckoff Avenue, I think back to when I first opened the Swiss-Almond Valspar paint can and dipped my four inch wide industrial paint brush into the undisturbed, fresh pool of paint. Habitat for Humanity has been advocating poverty housing for decades, but volunteering for HFH to build shelters for hard-working, financially challenged families alongside them, figuratively and physically, provides a unique type of perpetual fulfillment. After my first six months at HFHYU, I became a member of the steering-committee and continued to pursue my leadership to become the president of HFHYU two years later. During my junior year, I founded a HFHYU chapter at my school, which currently has over fifty members. As I continually engage myself in HFH, I only find it to be more intriguing and satisfying to help families in need, one house at a time.