Undergraduate / "my classes were no longer difficult" - 250 word essays on academic performance [8]

thanks for your comments i really appreciate your comments. I will work on this immediately

Kaiser I have a quick question do you think i should just talk about my experience in NYU and leave the beginning out?

Undergraduate / Foreign languages: subjects in which you excel or have excelled [2]

This essay is well written. I really like the fact that you are descriptive, and I am immediately drawn into your story,I could picture everything. The ending was a very good ending, however you could focus on more of how you excelled in the class. The last two lines of your ending are strong and a good way to end it off.

Undergraduate / "when I picked up my first LEGO kit" - What do you hope to accomplish at BU [2]

honestly, this essay is well written. From the beginning to the end your were straight to the point and everything you wrote told exactly why you hoped to accomplish. The A+B thing you included in your essay was a great touch it related your interest and shows how much you know about the school. Great essay!

Undergraduate / "I've always seemed to transcend in English" - Gates - Subject you exceled in [4]

"an English education" - Gates- Subject you exceled in

Prompt:Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?

In the past African Americans were restricted from learning how to read and write, but still tried to learn every opportunity they received. Today, many African American teenagers do not appreciate the opportunity of being able to get an English education. In relation, when I was younger I never really enjoyed English, but as I matured I learned to appreciate as well as excel in this subject. Looking back on the past, there was a process involved in developing my interest for English. When I was too young enough to read by myself, late at night my mother would read me and my sister a story, that we enjoyed so much. Then my mother would ask us several questions pertaining to the story in order to determine if we understood the story; although I hated the questions I always had to answer them. As time progressed, and I entered junior high school, my interest in English increased as I was often challenged by my English teacher. My English teacher always was strict about writing essays and taught us how to develop a clear and concise point, drawing the reader into the subject. She always, slaughtered my essays, teaching me give supporting details and how to write in depth. Obtaining the skills of writing prepared me for English in high school, where I enjoyed reading and writing, getting 90s and higher on everything. I got the opportunity to fully understand English, by reading Toni Morrison novels' in which the teacher made us analyze themes in order to portray Toni Morrison's purpose of challenging society views on conventionality. I enjoyed writing critical lens essays and would always go in depth, writing so well I got the opportunity to assist others. As a teenager I now appreciate my mother's questioning and my English teachers, because helped me excel in English and understand why my ancestors were tenacious to learn how to read and write. To be able to open and decipher every aspect of a book is amazing, as well as writing an essay reflecting your view point about it.

Undergraduate / "I've always seemed to transcend in English" - Gates - Subject you exceled in [4]

thank you for your comments and suggestions I will fix my essay immediately!

Undergraduate / "All I need is loved ones, good health, and a stable environment." - Find X Chicago [3]

I have to say that this is such an emotional essay, but it lacks some depth. Seeing how much you care about your mother you should elaborate on how much she had an impact on your life, and express more of your emotions about losing her.I agree with the comment above, you can say a lot of things but still be brief and concise.

fixed:My life has just begun as I am[near my high school graduation

Idk the last sentence seems a little weird, the topic is a strong topic just go in depth more and your essay would be perfect

Undergraduate / "mathematics and social studies" - subjects in which you have excelled. Your success? [3]

Ok I understand your approach with the essay topic is to just answer it straight forward. I think your essay would be better if you go in depth more than, rather than just saying I did this and that. The essay seems a little dull, and I think you should do some revising. I keep getting distracted from all the periods that you put, you can really connect your sentences together.

for example:Social studies has always been very appealing to me. I have always had a passion and appreciation for social studies--. connect them and explain why you might have this passion for social studies. These sentences seem incomplete.

Revise and I know you will have a good essay! good luck!

can you look at my essay--. difficult subject

Scholarship / "Growing up math" - Gates Millennum - Subject you had difficulty in [7]

Math - Gates - Subject you had difficulty in

As human beings we all have areas in which we excel and areas where we do not, and math was a subject that I had difficulty excelling in. As long as I can remember I could easily read and write, but solving math equations was definitely complicated to me. In first grade it was hard for me to add and subtract large numbers, then I could not master fractions, and later on Math B was just as difficult as it could get. In first grade I eventually learned how to do the things I had difficulty in, but in high school with Math B it was different. The teacher would teach the class the lesson that was planned for the day, and then follow up on questions to determine if we understood the lesson plan. The teacher would then call on people to solve the problems given, and I could never solve them without any help. When the teacher called on me to solve a problem, I would get nervous because all the numbers would get scrambled in my head, and I would shut down and tell the teacher "I don't know." Besides my participation in class, my test and homework grades plummeted along with my self confidence in the math class. After a while I noticed that understanding math is like teaching a child how to read, it takes time and effort. Being said, every day after school I stayed for tutorial sessions in which I got help with homework and previous tests that I failed. My teacher told me that the effort I put into math also counts at home, so at night I studied everything I learned that day. Gaining my confidence back, I participated more and began to receive 90's and better. Although I still have a difficult time comprehending word problems, I continue to go to tutoring so that it would be easier for me to excel in.

Scholarship / "Growing up math" - Gates Millennum - Subject you had difficulty in [7]

thank you for your comments

Scholarship / "A leader must have courage, credibility, and innovation" [6]

Great essay, I feel that you captivated what a leader is exactly. The words you chose to describe a leader were right on the head and you gave good evidence to support it.

one problem:Everyone is not a leader. There are those mean to follow, to do what their told, and live safely. There are also those who do.--> what do you mean there are also those who do? Do you mean there are also those who are meant to lead?