Undergraduate / "The moment in the shallows" MY COMMON APP ESSAY [15]

The essay is too detailed and it gets off topic a little. try to focus on your thesis. :) :)

Undergraduate / "Doctor, life saver" - Stony Brook Scholars for Medicine [2]

Dear lynn Su
the essay is a little too casual and too detailed. it does not describe how that horrible experience affected you and how you learned from it :) :) otherwise it's a good foundation.

Undergraduate / "the pride I feel whenever I don my crisp, blue and white uniform" short answer-cheer [10]

That is a very well written short answer but it is too brief. You should expand more why you love the game so much rather than focusing on how it makes you feel. :) :)

Undergraduate / "it's easy to fall in love" - Why Columbia? [10]

you to have identify yourself with columbia. Give the impression that you belong. :) :))

Undergraduate / "The Road to Serfdom" Stanford Intellectual experience [5]

In the library,a friend insisted that i read "Road to Serdom" and i would single the second set of quotation marks because it's a quote within a quote. but i think it would be better if you just removed the first two sentences and try to incorporate the fact that your friend recommended the book in later paragraphs.

Can you return the favor? :) :) :)

Undergraduate / "Residential Colleges; student and faculty interactions" - Why Rice Essay [2]

I love the introduction, i sounds original and true. But the second paragraph is a little cliche, it doesn't tell the reader what is unique about Rice. :) :)

Please return the favor...