Writing Feedback / Essay about happiness definition and it's effects - 'a kind of emotional feeling' [5]

Hello everyone,

Below is my essay on below topic, I would be very appreciate for anyone can help to correct it.

Topic: Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Great Thanks,
Brook

Happiness is an essential indicator to reflect how happy people feel from their daily lives. But how happiness should be defined? What brings the happiness to us? I am going to do some exploration and give my opinion.

Per my understanding, happiness is a kind of emotional feeling obtained by people when their demands are fulfilled or their wills are realized. But due to the demands and wills are totally different for each individual, the happiness invariably has a different meaning, it's hardly to define generally. For instance, many adults think that would be great happiness to live in a big beautiful house and have heir own luxury cars, while for some children, happiness maybe only means to have a lovely pet, and the most happy thing to a football fans is just watching another perfect shot made by his or her favorite team.

However, what are the key factors which affect the happiness of people? The first one would be the GAP between what you want to have and what you could have. Everyone has many desires, but some of them obviously can not be achieved because of the huge GAP between the dream and the reality. Such as most people would like to enjoy the happiness of traveling in their private air craft, but seems only a few of them can have the honor. Another contributing factor is that how much effort devoted to the achievement of the happiness. Almost every successful person would have a story about great happiness coming from great efforts.

All in all, the happiness means to live in your own favorite way. So whatever you are poor or rich, whatever you are young or old, just dedicate your efforts to your dream, therefore you will achieve your happiness.

Writing Feedback / IELTS about if creative artists can express their ideas in any way they like [4]

Hi all,

Here is my new essay about below topic, I am very appreciated to get your comments,thanks in advance.

Topic: Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Response:

Overall, I disagree with this opinion expressed particularly, because any unconditional freedom is impossible to be existent for people in human societies，and creative artists are no exception.

Firstly, I won't deny that creative artists are playing a significant role in the field of art innovation and development. They are always the pioneers of art and leading the fashion in their favorite area. They bring us touching stories, amazing photos, popular music or fantastic movies etc, by which make our mental lives rich and varied, also deepen our understanding of nature and human behaviors as well. In terms of their contributions to the society, these creative artists should be encouraged to express their ideas freely in their own ways.

However, creative ideas not always equal to positive ideas and unrestricted behaviors may lead to unexpected results. If some ideas are too ultra or are expressed in an extreme ways, unfortunately, it may negatively impact our society, for instance, too much violence, horror or pornographic descriptions in novels, photos or films. Although adults are able to recognize what is right or wrong at most of the time, but children or young people might be easily misled. So certain government restrictions are definitely necessary on these creative artists' behaviors. Actually, I think these restrictions should be adapted to all artists, rather than to creative artists only, even to any people in the societies.

In conclusion, we should encourage those creative artists to exhibit their perfect works in any fantastic ways on condition that no negative effects resulted to public and our society.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: About job assignment between men and women [5]

Topic: Males and females are different in many ways. Some jobs can be done by men, but other jobs are just suitable for women. Do you agree or disagree?

Overall, I disagree with the opinion expressed. Males and females do have many different characteristics in various aspects and behave differently in daily lives, but it doesn't mean that they have nothing in common in working environment.

Normally, both men and women can acquire the same abilities required in any jobs if they are trained in the appropriate ways. That's why most of the people usually have one or more colleagues of opposite sex. Certainly, I won't deny that some jobs are likely more suitable for females such as nurse or kindergarten teacher, due to women are more patient and careful than men. But we have to admit that many men are working as same as women in these areas since they may have the same ability or contribute in other aspects, like to carry patients on the back in emergency, or bring more active atmosphere to children.

Furthermore, with the rapid development of science and technology, the heavy physical jobs can be increasingly operated directly by modern machine, also majority of complicated logical calculation works can be handled by smart computing systems. While human are likely to pay more attention on monitoring and management in working environment in the future. So the physical and mental difference between males and females will affect much less on the assignment of jobs.

In conclusion, many jobs can be done by both men and women, although some jobs are covered mostly by women, but doesn't mean men can not be involved, and vice versa.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: some people think building more roads can reduce traffic problems... [4]

Topic: some people think building more roads can reduce traffic problems, what do you think?

The traffic problems have become one of the most serious issues around the world, which is considerably disturbing people nowadays. Someone claim that the problems can be reduced by building more roads, but I believe that some other crucial measures have to be taken to resolve the problems although building more roads can be helpful in some occasions.

Firstly, I won't deny that the traffic problems in some places are resulting from the scarcity of roads resources. In such cases, widening the existing streets or building more new roads would absolutely solve these problems to a certain extent.

However, road resource seems always limited while facing the dramatic increasing of population and transportation vehicles. In those big modern cities, millions of vehicles are crowding on the streets day and night. Meanwhile, thousands of new joiners are rushing into the "Traffic Jam Club" every day as well. On the contrary, in many cities where have serious traffic problems, there have been no much space for building or widening roads.

How can we cope with the situation? From my perspective, at least three measures have to be taken into account besides building more roads. The first one is controlling the traffic volume by setting a threshold to all non-public transportations, for example, raising the parking fees in those most crowded areas. The second one is to highly improve the convenience and efficiency of the public transportation system and lower the ticket price. The last one is to optimize the city plan, such as separating the outdoor functional areas which have been too much centralized in city centre.

To sum up, building more roads could be helpful in some places, but the rapidly increased population and vehicle volume should take more responsibilities to this problem, so some other measures such as traffic volume control, public transportation improvement and city plan optimization, have to be taken into account to address the traffic problems.