Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Select students with academic ablity or teach them together? [6]

Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities study together. Discuss both views and give your own opinone.

Below is my answer sample:
The education of youngsters is always a controvesial issue, as it is associated with the future of human race. But due to the scarcity of the educational resources, schools cannot meet all the demands to study, espeically in university level.

It is claimed that colleges should afford standards choosing students to enroll, while others insist that is is advantageous to teach students at various level together. They are both partilly resonable in my view.

Provided some requirements, the selected students may share more in common, such as the academic abilities and personal chareacteristics. Therefore, instructors could concentrate on solving their common problems, and then make the schooling more effective and efficient. Moreover, based on the similar backgrouds and situations of the youths, it is easy to set the curriculums and realize the planed goals. Boys and girls tend to enjoy the developments physcally, mentally and psychologically. As a result, it is expected that they can be more employable along with the adept techniques as well as adequate knowledge.

There are benefits educating the young at different academic abilities as well. Undoubtedlly, each individual is unique and owns the strengths others do not possess. For example, those children who do not have a strong affinity to sciences subjects, e.g. math and physics, may be talented at studying liberal courses suprisely. If taught together, students are believed to learn from each other, and be motivated to acquire knowledge of different fields. In addtion to the positive influence from peers, teaching in groups also make good use of currents resource and increase the student-teacher ratio which can furture reduce the operating cost of the goverment.

In conclusion, both views share pros and cons. But in order to effectively combat the problem relating to scarcity of educational resources, I think of schooling children with all types together as better option. Nevertheless, it is still tough problem for educators to seek better methodology with which students of different levels could fostered well-rounded and efficiently. [329 words]

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] cellphone and Internet are harmful to people health, why we use? how to do? [5]

It is obvious that excessive use of modern technology products, such as mobile phones and Information highway is detrimental to the people both physically and psychologically. But there are still a multitude of users of these equipments. In this essay, I will analyze the reasons, and give my suggestions as well.

Apparently, modern technology in this day and age enables us to lead a more comfortable and more efficient life. With the widespread use of mobile phones, for instance, people can communicate with each other at lower expense in terms of time and money, both for business demands and for recreational pursuits. It also economizes us a lot when we speak to friends or family members who are living far from us.

In addition to convenience, we also benefit a lot from the appearance of Internet in terms of acquiring knowledge and information. From the aspect of educators, Internet affords children with infinite knowledge to learn which certainly cover all existent subjects and disciplines. It is not uncommon to see that youngsters have already adapted to search for materials through Google and Yahoo online. Furthermore, the videos and lectures, such as the open course of MIT, can be accessed via Internet connection for free. Only with these high-tech advances could the students all over the world share the precious educational resources. Based on these merits, it is really unreasonable for people to give up the Internet as we cannot find the replacement.

In spite of so many advantages, I admit the harmfulness to human health. Therefore, we have a lot of to do to alleviate the negative effect. First, people should avoid using cell phones abusively. Second, spending some time on outdoor activities with friends is good option to keep fit. Last, it is the parents' obligation to monitor and regulate their children's behavior, protecting them from being addicted to computer games or pornographic contents from internet. [317]

plz help me with the writing? thanks.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] attitude to Space Research [9]

Some people think space research is a waste of money. The government should spend money on the improvement of people's living conditions. What is your opinion?

In present, the breakthroughs and advances in technology have transformed our life, and enable the scientists to conduct various scientifical researches such as space research. Yet at the same time, it is a heated issue that whether it is necessary to spend so much money on a single experiment. Some people argue that space research is solely a waste of money, and government should invest in the expenditure relating to citizen's wellbeing. In my personal view, I find this view unconvincing for at least two reasons.

First of all, like the scientifical researches in the past, space research is also the foundation upon which science and technology developments can be achieved. For example, from Newton to Kepler, their achievements based on the observations of space not only contribute a lot to the theory in math and physics, but also render people better identify the role of human being and the future of the earth as well. More specifically, the Apollo landing affords us sufficient data to analyze and study, which is valuable to exploit the nature of outer space.

Besides, human race all over the world can be the beneficiaries of space research, soon or later. Apparently, there have been many successful applications such as innovations in biometric engineering field due to the outcome of space research. The crop yield could be improved a lot if they are cultivated in the environment similar to the space. Furthermore, the final goal of space research is to find a replacement of the earth in case that one day our global village is no longer suitable to live in. Thus, it is imperative to encourage government to spend on this study.

However, we cannot deny the cost of space research is too huge; even though, the future of this project is certainly promising for the society as a whole. Maybe the government should strike a balance between the scientifical research and the people's living condition.

To sum up, we should trust and support the authorities' decisions about space research which may beyond our knowledge and eyesight. Also, all nations should unite together to combat the challenging task-that is the space research-which seems difficult to conquer for any single nation. [366]

Plz place more emphasis on the opening paragraph and the top sentences of each body paragraph.
I need your suggestions, thank you.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] letter-writing skills will disapear, agree or not? [7]

More and more people use the mobile phone or computer to communicate, and no longer write letters to each other. Some people think the skills of letter writing will soon disappear completely. Do you agree or disagree? How important do you think letter-writing is?

In this day and age, with the widespread use of computers and mobile phones, modern technology has transformed our lives in terms of communication. Some believe that letter-writing skills will diminish in future. Personally, I can agree with this view.

It is evident that people rarely write letters to each other, which stems from two main reasons. People especially young folks typically use mobile phones and computers as common tools in contacting others. As an old fashion, letter-writing has been neglected by the mass particularly those youngsters who even never use it. Therefore, when the children grow up, it is not uncommon to see that they are unable to write a letter, let alone mastering the technique to make a nice one. Further, schools and parents do not place enough emphasis on the education of writing letters. The reason for that involves the recognition that letter-writing is not essential as it has nothing to do with the employable skills and academic scores. However, the history tells us that great writers like Lu Xun and Zhu Ziqing treated letters as unique artworks. From Newton to Einstein, their contributions to the science are largely dependent on the correspondences with other researchers. As a result, letter-writing plays a significant role in the advancement of our society.

On the other hand, it seems that modern technology can also promote people's letter-writing skills. I admit that email and mobile phones make our daily communication more efficient and less time-consuming. Specifically, emails are similar to mails because they all require people's reading and writing. Even so people cannot grasp the essence of letter-writing through clicking the keyboards. It is the emotional interaction and deeply thinking that makes letter-writing a art, not a ordinary skill.

To sum up, technological innovations such as computers and mobile phones truly boost the communicative efficiency and afford more comfortable lifestyle; nevertheless, they cannot replace the status of letter-writing in our lives, mentally and culturally.

I am not sure whether I've done a good job. Plz help me with it.