Writing Feedback / what can society do to assist homeless people? [3]

Hello! I am a Esl student , and I need to write a good essay to go college. Can you help me check my first essay practice , and please tell me how to improve my writing skills. Thanks!

The widening gap between the rich and the poor means that more and more individuals and families are forced to live on street. In you opinion, what can society do to assist these homeless people?

In today society, Not all of people are able to live in big house and enjory their lives. There have several people who even don't have a home to stay .They need care from society . In my perspectives , society should assist these homeless people to have a beautiful life by using below three methods.

First and foremost,society should help homeless people find a place to live. It is inaccetable that let homeless people still live on streets. First, homeless people can be brought to rescue station for a short time. Instead of that society need to build some particular apartment for homeless people ,which can be staied for a long time . To give homeless people a home is capable to solve the most improtant problem of them.

Second,to be a vonlunteer help homeless people's daily life in their apartment. Some homeless people who have physical disability or too young are unable to do some daily chores such as washing dishes and clothes,cooking and room clean, so volinteers can help them do that. In addition , homeless people usually feel lonely and depressed because they usually stay alone on the streets and feel hopeless of future. Volunteers can use their enthusiasm to let homeless people feel warm . Therefore to use volunteer help homeless people is not only good for their physical health but also mental health.

The last but not least,society can offer some appropriate jobs for homeless people. learning the fishing is better than be given fishes. Many homeless people still have ability to do some manual works such as street clean and delivery, so society need to give them some opportunities and help them get suitable works . Therefore , when homeless people get jobs , they are not homeless anymore . To give homeless people a job can completely help them get of troubles.

In conclusion, the way to help homeless people have a good life from giving their material
conditions to giving them a new opportunity to creat their lives . I think this is what homeless people want .

Writing Feedback / Modern technology can replace museums and art galleries agree or disagree? [2]

hi, I am a esl student . Please help me revise this essay , and give me some advices . Thanks a lot

Modern technology has made it possible for people to view exhibitions an home so museums and art galleries will disappear soon . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's society, modern technology is upgrading continually everyday, and the advanced electronics gradually replace many area of our real lives. Some people think it also can instead of museums and art galleries to view exhibitions at home. For my perspective, this buildings can not be replaced forever though modern technology is developed rapidly.

In my opinion, viewing exhibitions at home is not as well as enjoying the views in the museums. First, advanced technology can't provide the realistic feeling to audience. For example, 3D models,which is a kind of display technologies used in movies, also has differences from real views. Second, people is not able to enjoy the museum's atmosphere on the screen. This means that audience just is able to realize information about exhibitions,but people who go to the museum can get more excited because they are near the real products. Third, electrical screen effects people's physical health. In other words, electrical screen is bad for people's eyesight, and any electronics have radiations which can destroy the skin of people's body. Therefore, museums and art galleries can not disappear because it is not beneficial that viewing exhibitions on the televisions.

In addition ,museums and art galleries can not be disappeared because they are important for our culture and economy. First,museums can promote the development of tourism. Many tourists prefer to visit a museum to realize local culture as well as to enjoy artworks from masters. Consequently, this buildings can become essential scenic spots of tourism. Moreover,museums and art galleries are good places for protecting and storing precious artworks. For example, The Louvre Museum, which is the most important museum all over the world, has collected many famous paintings such as Mona Lisa. Therefore, museums are a suitable place to protect our culture. Finally, several museums have so long history that should be protected. This means museums are not only spots but also historical heritages. Therefore , museums and art galleries can not be replaced because they are invaluable to our culture and economy.

In conclusion, museum and art gallery plays an irreplaceable role in our lives. In spite of developing modern technology is convenient to daily life, museums would not be ignored .

Writing Feedback / Traditional foods are repaced by international fast food. advantageous or disadvantag [NEW]

In many countries , traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food . This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. agree or disagree?

Nowadays, international fast food restaurants are very popular among people , and it was developing step by step. Now, the international fast food restaurants almost appear anywhere you can see. As a result, a lot of traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. From my perspective, it is a negative signal for families and societies by using several reasons below.

Replacing traditional foods makes plenty of negative influences on family. First, international fast foods usually are unhealthy, expecially the deep fried chicken and french fries contain a number of calories. If people eat fast food frequently, they may get obesity and many kinds of diseases. In addition , most of people still like to eat traditional foods rather than fast food . In other words,traditional foods have a varity of flavours and its own style. However, as fast food was usually cooked bu machines , the flavours it has are almost same. For example , the Mcdonald's burgers in USA have the same taste with it in China . Many people already get accustomed to their traditional foods, so they will get disappointed if their favorite restaurants are replaced by a Mcdonald's . Moreover, international fast food going into people's manu makes the pace of our daily lives too fast. With the cruel and fierce competitions, many people choice fast food for thier lunch in order to save much time focusing on their works , then people may get physical and mental problems by eating fast food. Therefore , traditional foods replaced by international fast foods lead negative effects on people.

The number of international fast food restaurants increaing also cause a lot of negative effects on societies. To begin with , international fast food can disturb our traditional culture. In a country, the food is the part of culture. If the traditional foods was replaced , the culture would not be completed. For example, the dumplings are a symbolic food in China. In spring festival , which is the biggest celebrate of a year in China, everyone need to eat dumplings due to people think it can make family happy and lucky. dumplings are an irreplaceable food in China. Furthermore, the increase of fast food restaurans lead the speed of local economic development slow . this means economy will be influenced due to international restaurants replace traditional restaurants . The competitions between two kinds of restaurants must be existent , so if one ger stronger, the other might be disappeared. Thus , international fast food also influence economies on societies.

In conclusion , the information about traditional foods being replaced by international fast food is not beneficial to both families and societies. However I belive traditional paly an irreplaceable role in today's society.

Writing Feedback / Is it a waste time for government to spend money on criminals? [NEW]

Most people think it is a waste of time for the government to spend a lot of money changing the behavior of criminals? What's your opinion ?

Nowadays, since the crime rate is increasing rapidly, governments decide to spare efforts on changing the behaviour of criminals. Some people hold that spending plenty of money on criminals is worthless, but others express the different views, they think that paying attention to changing criminals' behaviour is a useful way to decrease the crime rate. From my perspective, I agree with first statement, there are several reasons why I hold on.

The main reason for my propensity is governments helping people who really need helps is more sufficient than helping the cruel criminals. First, governments need to help some children who live in poverty be able to go to school instead of educating criminals. For example, in Africa , there are a lot of children who are unable to enjoy school education. They are still young so that they might will make some contributions for their countries in the future. Thus , I believe that it is more valuable to educate them rather than criminals. In addition, giving homeless people a room is more useful than offering long time free prisons for criminals. In other words, there are still a lot of homeless people in today's society. It is unacceptable that let many homeless people still live on street, while criminals have a room to stay . Therefore, I believe governments spending a plenty of money and time changing criminals' behavior is unfair to some people who really need help.

Another reason can see by every people is that helping criminals change their mind is not a effective way to decrease the crime rate. To begin with, the beneficial welfare can not stop criminals from doing crime. The strict punishments for the criminals are usually an alarm which can remind people the results before they tend to do the crime. However, the governments even give the criminals an opportunity to abtain their knowledge and enjoy the free education. As a result, many people are no longer to scare to be a criminal, and even some homeless people want to be a criminal so that they might have a better living standard than before. I think a criminal's life is better than them because the criminals at least have a room to stay . Therefore, the beneficial environment for criminals can not decrease the crime rate , even making it more high.

In conclusion , the governments using the way of changing the behavior of criminals in order to decrease the crime rate is not a good idea, and it is even useless and worthless. I recommend that the governments need to pay more attention to the hopeless people. When these people have a good life , I believe that nobody wants to be a cruel criminal.