Undergraduate / "trying for the best university in the world" - Uc Prompt #2 [3]

Heya - thank u for viewing my essay , please give me some advise:)

Prompt #2 (all applicants)

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

And i think the beginning is a bit strange, have u got any idea to change it?

I was admitted into Shanghai High School with a high score in the entrance exam. While most people regarded my admission with envy, I wasn't able to be proud of my freshman year. I attended the school like a beaver struggling in the upriver rapids. Academic competitions, Science Debates, Student Union work, and other school activities did not attract me because I was merely a humble, low ranked ordinary student and I hated failures so that I dared not have a try. However, I was fascinated with the standard soccer pitch in the school. Never had I seen such a verdant field with a wonderful open space. Never had any young soccer lover seen such a plain view without any skyscrapers, airplanes or electric wires. Only the vast sky released my depressed spirit from scores and honors. Thus, I started to concentrate more on sports events especially soccer. Like taking a math course, I took up soccer training after school every day. Though that was exhausting to run several miles after sitting eight hours in classroom and extremely boring to chase a ball in order to score a goal like seeking after a key to solve a geometry problem, yet I found it exuberant to feel my desire for victory. Kicking a ball with six other teammates, I also noticed that not only I but we, seven guys were looking forward to a real victory, which should be totally different from what is in our daily plays. Soon, there came the chance. The Little League called "Yuansheng Cup" came about as a great opportunity for us to show our talent in soccer and eagerness to win.

The first match was still like a dream to me as if it had never happened. We were all excited and of course, a little nervous to play our first match against seven freshmen of the same aged and maybe of similar awkward techniques. We were not so timid and unlike amateurs at the beginning. Controlling the ball by passing around and having conducted some shoots, we seven were commanding the pace well and thus our confidence grew; so did our chance. We dominated the game; later on, we broke the deadlock. I tackled the striker, passed the ball to Sam and spurted along the left wing. Sam, a skillful dribbler, moved forward at a fairly low speed but with his eyes scanning the whole pitch; the ball found Davis, who hid at the right sideline. There was no defender except the keeper before Davis because I, together with Kevin and King, beguiled the full backs into our attacking trap. Davis scored! And we did it, our first goal. We had a happy ending in the first half. However, looking down on our opponents posed the adversity to us that just a second after the second half whistle, we conceded a goal. As the team leader, I couldn't be more clear-headed than ever about the situation in which we guys were struggling: we wanted a victory. I shouted to my fighters, "C'mon, guys! It's time to knock them a BLOW!" Afterwards, we were back to seize the match. Sam blocked their shoot and gave the ball to me. I glanced at the goal in the mid-field and, without hesitation, took a full-strengthened shoot. The curving bird flew above the keeper's digits, hit the left side-bar, glided along the line and kissed the right side-bar. 2-1! What a miracle! Even David Beckham couldn't have scored such a goal. Finally, we won our first game on the appealing pitch.

Heretofore, we, the seven members in the soccer team, have experienced wins and losses; we have realized that past victories were merely past glories and we should always keep on fighting for the next victory; we have as well perceived that defeats are not that horrible and unacceptable, but they disclose our weakness and shortcomings; what's more, we have become popular among our classmates: girls have watched every game in which they cried out to encourage us and provided us with soft-drinks; other boys have begun practicing soccer as a pastime. I, myself, have learned a lot from soccer. To me, the purpose of a match is not to score a goal, not to beat the defense, not to win the match but to have one try, then another, another and another. I started to think more about my school life, my study and my future. I sought ways to work more efficiently; I asked for a chance to support the class debate team as a substitute; I submitted the application to the Student Union; and still, I played for my soccer team.

Through the years in my school, I have been exploiting every minute to "tries". Instead of day-dreaming, planning or contemplating, I believe that trying is always the first step to success. Now, I am trying for the best university in the world and I am trying to further my "tries" in a new land, a new environment.

Undergraduate / "my life is prepared for all methods" - UC Prompt #1 [3]

Hi - I finished my Prompt1 essay, and thank you for viewing:)

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Often I lie awake in bed at night, hearing the snore of my roommates and thinking alone. Those are the only minutes of my loneliness and the rest of my life is filled with friends and communications.

Since the time I was able to talk and express my words with body language, I have been knitting my connection net. I make everyone appeared in my life a friend and share my interests and stories with him. I am never jealous about someone's success, nor do I zoom out his shortcoming. I just figure out what we both share and what is our similarity and I know that is the key point of building up a solid and long lasting relationship. Talking may be a fundamental way of communication, but sometimes it just does not work. And the knitting becomes tough to continue until one finds another way to weave. Volunteering the deaf-and-dumb students was a hard job to me, a guy who builds contacts by merely talented skill in listening to others and replying with proper words. I tried hand language and failed due to the fact that I only know how to express hello and good in their common language. I moved my lips but found out they simply gave up guessing what the long sentence meant. Finally, I took out a pen and struck up the conversation on paper. Though we cannot exchange our ideas in a more efficient way, we still enjoy the time to write on questions and answers, stories of school and family life, and sometimes a smiling face after a full stop. We started to know each others and the ending was like the smiling face after the full stop: there is never an ending to a friendship.

For the past decade, I have heard about a thousand worlds of my friends and I have told my world to them in return. It does not matter who the man is; to me, my life welcomes everyone who comes in. And it does not matter how to make a friend; my life is prepared for all methods. For the next few decades, the net may cover the whole world like GPS and who knows!

Undergraduate / 'Class volunteer leaders' - Essay-elaborate one of your activities [NEW]

The Common Application Short Answer
elaborate one of your activities(extracurricular, personal experience, or work experience)(150words or fewer)

plz help to view my essay. Thanks a lot:)

Looking around my audience, I saw assorted bemused expressions on their faces. During the first meeting with our class volunteer leaders, I found them actually knew nothing about their work, so my job was to instill the essence of volunteering into their minds in a short time. Yet I did not follow my senior leaders who hardly ever sloughed off paper introductions and slide shows. I told a story, briefly, about a freshman's first time to a children's welfare home. Like a travel note, the young guy's experience was unfolded piecemeal, with the change of his opinion that disclosed the truth of volunteering: From lost to cognition, from cognition to comprehension, and from comprehension to enjoyment, one gradually finds his way to success and one has to experience the world by himself. Then they started to think and discuss about their experiences and got what they sought for.(word account 148)

Undergraduate / Unfamiliar world / Walk and volunteer / Rascal Flatts' - University of Rochester [3]

I've wriiten some short answers. Plz view them and give me some advice, thanks:)

1. What makes the University of Rochester a good fit for you? In answering, identify your sources of information, including any conversations you've had with Rochester faculty, staff, students, or alumni.

There are many similarities between Rochester and my school.Both represent high education quality and encourage research projects including academic study and community service.Moreover,they both pay huge attention to the diversity of their environment.I have visited the website about diversity of Rochester and I am impressed by its multicultural calendar which provides a vast view of most festivals of various cultures.I can feel the great acceptance of the university that even in an unfamiliar world I can still live my own cultural life.My school has an international division and students from different countries study with us,local students in the same campus.Though they talk in languages we can not catch a word,yet the diversity composes our big family where we live and make friends with each other.The situation in Rochester is quite similar,so I will feel comfortable to study in such a big family and pursue my academic study with students of incredible diversity in Rochester.

2. In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.

Apart from reading books,doing assignments and preparing tests,I spent several days walking around my home city and organizing some volunteering activities in the community.I enjoyed wandering the streets under the warm sunshine in summer, and during that time I could take a deep look into my hometown to know its people and culture better.I took part in an educational program about the Olympics and played interesting games with students age7-12 to help them learn more about the Olympic Games.

3. You have been selected to sing in a talent show. What song would you choose? Why?

When I ferreted about for songs on the Internet,Rascal Flatts drew my ears with their fabulous sound.The opening music of"It is not supposed to go like that"enchanted me by its light rhythm and countryside tone;then,came the shocking words,which told a story about a child accidentally shot his companion with his dad's gun in a cowboy-play.That story drove me into deep thought about the legitimacy of gun holding and I really want to sing the song for the safe of human life and social security.

Great thanks:)

Undergraduate / New York City is an essential element of academic and cultural life at NYU [3]

New York City is an essential element of academic and cultural life at NYU. If you could engage in an activity or start a club or service organization at NYU, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?

New York City is well developed with a convenient traffic system which includes thousands of hundreds of taxis, private cars, buses and other vehicles. Though those vehicles have given us so many benefits that save our time and energy, we should pay huge attention to their damages on our environment. I want to devote myself to some environment protection programs and maybe I will begin a volunteer project to tell the public about the exact amount of CO2 the vehicles can produce every hour and some indirect results of too much CO2 and harmful gas in the air.

plz help to view my words, great thanks:)