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Posts by ajliu84
Joined: Dec 15, 2011
Last Post: Dec 17, 2011
Threads: 3
Posts: 6  
From: Singapore

Displayed posts: 9
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ajliu84   
Dec 15, 2011
Undergraduate / UVA - Favorite word & work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature [6]

Anyone willing to take a crack at my essay? Thanks so much in advanced!

College of Arts and Sciences: What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?
The first time I heard John Cage's 4'33'', to say I was surprised would be an understatement. Very frankly, I thought it was a joke. How on Earth could anyone classify this as artistic? Cage's magnum opus, no less? The piece very literally consists of 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence. Pure, empty, quiet silence. I was utterly baffled and could not for the life of me comprehend this supposed 'masterpiece'. How did the world of music get from great maestros to this? What happened along the way? When I reached home, still I couldn't push it to an unforgotten part of my mind and so I decided to do my own little research. And with that one Google search button, everything changed.

Turns out, John Cage was attempting to create a piece which would utilize the automaticism movement first proposed by Romantic Era composers to the closest it's ever been before. Upon realizing what the movement is about and the ingenuity behind the John Cage's piece, I started to understand and agree, to a certain extent, on the 'beauty' of 4'33". For the first time, I approached the piece with a different mindset; not one strictly bound by the musical influences of the classical eras but one that's open to new concepts, one without judgement. The unconventionality of it, the brilliance behind its creation, the audacity and boldness Cage undertook to create this, my feelings quickly progressed from hate to utmost admiration.

Art doesn't have to be aesthetically pleasing. It doesn't have to be worth grand amounts of money and it doesn't have to be understood by everyone. In my opinion, successful art is something that triggers emotions - emotions one didn't even know they had. 4'33'' helped me realized this and encouraged me to face problems with an open-mind.

What is your favorite word and why?
"Home" means something completely different to each and every person. It may for some be accompanied with a rush of nostalgia and joy and for others possibly with a slight tinge of dread. Its origins and details differ from person to person but it is something that everyone lives with. To me, home is where I am most comfortable. Home is an escape from harsh realities of the world and home is my favorite word.

It really wasn't until the prospect of leaving it in half a year's time did the concept of my own home really hit me. All the things that I would miss, all the things that I take for granted that would be out of reach, all the things so familiar to me suddenly whisked from under my feet. At first it was the trivial things; the laundry, the cleanliness, the home-made cooking. But as I thought on, what was really the most essential thing I'm going to miss?

Home is where I can put up my feet without anyone questioning. It's where I can loudly sing at the top my lungs without a batter of an eyelid. It's where I can sleep most at ease during the nights. A home is so much more than a house and its contents, of the trivial thing that comes along with it: it's a feeling. It's that warm fuzzy sensation when you first walk through the front doors after a long vacation. It's the sense of unconditional belonging. Simply put,

Home to me will always be nothing less of blissful to me. It goes hand in hand with childhood, family, happiness and for that "Home" is my favorite word.

The word count for both the essays is, and I quote, "half page or roughly 250 word". For the first essay, my final word count it 301 and for the second it's 281. Thank you!
ajliu84   
Dec 15, 2011
Undergraduate / UVA - Favorite word & work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature [6]

Thanks for the feedback! I've made the changes.
The word limit for both essays is half a page to roughly 250 words which I've taken to mean give or take 50. (Someone please correct me I'm wrong on this by the way!) the first essay is 301 words and the second one is 281 words.

Thanks again, Dumi! =]
ajliu84   
Dec 15, 2011
Undergraduate / UVA - Favorite word & work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature [6]

Oh. I hadn't realized. Where am I ending too abruptly? And I don't think the word count itself really is that important. As long as I can portray what I'm saying the best way possible in the least amount of words. If it really is necessary, I guess some help wouldn't hurt!
ajliu84   
Dec 15, 2011
Undergraduate / 'an interesting joke of an exam question' - Tufts Supplement Essays - Why Tufts? [4]

1. Which aspects of Tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short: "Why Tufts?" (50-100 words)

I once read an interesting joke of an exam question "Why?" to which the top mark was awarded to the answer "Because". Tufts is the perfect size between a large university and smaller liberal arts college to provide the best of both worlds. It's far away from Boston to drown out the hectic city life but not too much so to distil the urban atmosphere. It has the ideal balance of arts, academics and athletics for one to excel in all and it provides diversity for an overseas Asian-American like me to feel at home. So, why Tufts? Simply because.

I want to try and incorporate a bit of creativity and almost humor into my application? But I'm slightly scared that "simply because" may be a tad bit redundant due to the reasons aforementioned. Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated!
ajliu84   
Dec 15, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Chinese calligraphy' - Rice- Unique Life Experiences and Perspective [11]

I think generally, the essay is really well done. I like the analogy of the train and carriages and I think the difference between the two interests you decided to highlight is significant enough to show a sort of diversity to you and your activities.

Some changes I might make though, the beginning of the essay seems to be grammatically incorrect? I'm not too sure about this.. but shouldn't it be "If an individual student is a carriage, than a university must be a monolithic train; a composition of each body"? That's got me quite puzzled, i'll tell you that.

Overall, I think it's a really good essay definitely worthy of pride. Good job! And good luck!
ajliu84   
Dec 15, 2011
Book Reports / 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' - Columbia-a book that's meaningful to you [5]

First off, good choice of book ;] I love The Picture of Dorian Gray

And a more serious note though, first of all, is there a word limit to this essay? Because if not, I feel like there are quite a lot of things you could add to this. As most college essays go, it's not so much about the event itself, or the person, or the book but it's impact on you. Remember, the application is for the admission officers to find out more about you; i'm sure they already know plenty on Dorian Gray. I think the fact that the first paragraph is longer than the second should already call for red flashing alarms. Although very eloquently described and probably very good for an English essay, I think the first paragraph can but cut down - by a lot.

So really, I'd just say to hone in on the second paragraph and really go into detail about it. What is the morality behind the lines? What is the paradoxical nature of human beings? Although no doubt beneficial, quoting from the book isn't doing too much for the admissions officer to know about you - except that you find good quotes. You're relating to much to the book, in my opinion. Try to add a more personal element to the essay.

I hope this helped! I'm not applying to Columbia so i'm not all too aware of the supplement essays but this is just my own personal opinion.

Good luck!
ajliu84   
Dec 17, 2011
Undergraduate / 'intellectual and fun place' - Why Tufts? [4]

I agree with the person above me. And also, Tufts should be capitalized; it's a proper noun, a name. I think the actual content of your essay is fine albeit a tad bit boring. The people at the admissions office know exactly what Tufts is like. I think what they're looking for is really why is Tufts important to you. Oh, and, it's waayy too long. It clearly says 50-100 words in the prompt and you're nearing 200.

Good luck!
ajliu84   
Dec 17, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Why not Tufts' + ' My mother' - Tufts Short Questions [3]

I agree with the person above me. I think your ideas are really well chosen and could be very successful =]

Some advice though, I was saying this on another person's Tufts essay but Tufts really should be capitalized. It's a name, a proper noun, and I think that should really be important.

Perhaps that's the reason that I am the first one in my family to ever think of applying in one of the top universities of world.

I love how kiss-ass this quote is xD I'm not sure what the admissions officer might think though. Haha

In short, Tufts.

I think this could be done better as well. In short, Tufts is...? I don't know. It just seems very abrupt an ending. Though I do understand what with the word count and all.

Good luck! And read mind when you get the chance ;D
ajliu84   
Dec 17, 2011
Undergraduate / Tufts Supplement Essays - "Let your life speak" and "The world within" [3]

If anyone's willing to give my essays a quick read and some opinions, I'd be very grateful =]
I'm considering maybe changing the topic for the first one. Still deciding and although I really like my second one, the actual issue in question was actually posed in the prompt. Do you think this could show unoriginality?

2. There is a Quaker saying: "Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raised - your family, home, neighborhood or community - and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)

"United World College of South East Asia" is exactly what it sounds like: a school where the world metaphorically, though it sometimes feels very literally, unites. This is the school I've attended since I was in grade 4 and the very same one I will be graduating from in half a year's time.

This school and my almost 9 years, more than half my entire lifetime, spent at it have provided me with so much but above all, a realization of our current globalization. Located in the heart of the bustling Singapore city and squeezed between one of Singapore's most prestigious government funded schools with majority of students being of local Singaporeans and a preparatory school catered to the English, UWC is a diversity utopia of sorts where students from all over the world gather and learn together under a rooftop. It's not uncommon to be sitting in a classroom with a variety of people from nations spanning each continent of the globe.

The diversity of the student body has really led me to become the person I am today. It has helped me gain an appreciation of our community on a global scale, raised awareness of issues on an international level and most importantly provided me with an appropriate starting ground for our global 21st Century. In addition, to be able to greet someone in some 20 odd languages is pretty impressive, no?

3. For the second short response we asked you to consider the world around you. Now, consider the world within. Taste in music, food and clothing can make a statement while politics, sports, religion and ethnicity are often defining attributes. Are you a vegetarian? A poet? Do you prefer You Tube or test tubes, Mac or PC? Are you the drummer in an all-girl rock band? Do you tinker? Use the richness of your identity to

frame your personal outlook. (200-250 words)
Something unusual happened today. A previous teacher of mine passed by and as I greeted her with good morning, she gave me a quizzical look and walked over my way. The cogs in my head started whirring, as they do, why is she coming this way? Did I do something wrong? I hope I'm not in trouble...

"Andrew! It's good to see you and your last remaining PC in the school. Unfortunately, I've given in to the Mac craze! You hold out as long as you can!" she says before giving me a wink and walking away. I was flabbergasted. That was it? But then, the reality of her words hit me hard.

Indeed, I was one of the very, very few PC-users left in the school. With the school server recently changing to all Apple-based operating systems, it's just more easily compatible and with the new "e-learn" movement, it seems as if everywhere you look there's the iconic apple symbol.

So why haven't I changed? I'd like to think that I'm a non-conformer. I've been more than happy with my various PC computers over the years and have absolutely no intention of switching over due to a petty fad. I feel, albeit disheartened at my lack of PC companions, honoured to be one of the last remaining. I feel it gives me my sense of individualism and an element of uniqueness. If anything, the dying number of PC-users just fuels my determination to continue, to stay true to myself

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks.
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