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Posts by sg120
Joined: Dec 21, 2011
Last Post: Dec 17, 2012
Threads: 5
Posts: 10  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 15
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sg120   
Dec 21, 2011
Undergraduate / (small class size+location+student to teacher ratio)What motivated to choose rice? [3]

What motivated you to apply to Rice University? Please be specific and limit your response to 200 words.But I have 237. How can I shorten or improve it?

What first attracted me to Rice University was its location. Rice is close to my home and to the Texas Medical Center. This will not only allow me to keep in touch with my family in Houston, but also provide me with opportunities for analytical research(in addition to those offered by Rice itself)to add to my college experience.

Moreover, the balanced lifestyle enjoyed by Rice's student body adds to my view of Rice as the perfect fit for me. During high school, I took numerous night and weekend classes along with being a full-time student. Therefore, I was unable to pay much attention to my social life. Thus, as an immigrant who had spent only a year in an American high school, this rendered me unable to 'blend' into my social surroundings. But at Rice, I believe, I will be provided with rigorous educational challenges as well opportunities to further my life experiences without compromising the quality of education.

Above all, what I value the most is the Honor Code and the 5:1 student to faculty ratio (which is small as compared to that of my high school's 40:1 ratio). Both of these foster unparalleled trust, confidence, and accessibility between the students and the professors.

The distinct undergraduate research opportunities, balanced lifestyle, and the acclaimed learning environment at Rice will help me develop not only into a successful student but also a productive member of the society.
sg120   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / "I am the eagle and the honey-bee" - Rice perspective [2]

This is my rice perspective essay, I completely forgot to go over it. Help me any harsh comments are welcome. Also tell me if the conclusion actually matches the essay. Does it flow?

"I am the eagle."
"I am the honey-bee."
My brother, four, and I, seven years old, proudly exclaimed what we had chosen to represent ourselves in a game in which we identified ourselves with certain plants, animals or objects; a game recently invented by us during a road tour. Initially, these analogies were picked on the whether or not we liked something, in other words, based on the prejudices we had towards an object that we saw. Overtime, the game expanded in depth and began to include all the objects that we knew of, not just the ones we saw.

As our childhood progressed, the game that was only played during road trips became an important component of our daily routines in addition to growing in depth and meaning. Now, our choices are not based upon prejudices but rather on comparisons between the life experiences of the objects and our own selves. Today, when I identify myself as an object, I relate to the personal traits, habits, and the trials and tribulations faced by this object. I then find inspiration to find solutions to my problems based on the way the object struggles and survives. From the painting abstract concept, to getting rid of the writer's block, to playing basketball, the small actions of creatures are my inspiration. Thus, this game has evolved into my perspective, shaping my view of the world. Thus, during a day, I enjoy being several different creatures and objects, comparing and learning from them.

In the morning, I am the eagle who wakes up early when the first warm ray of the sun breaks through the horizon. Like the eagle, I am full of ambition and always ready for a new, enriching day.

I am the curious little ant, a compact creature, yet full of questions about the world around it. From, digging deep into the ground and climbing trees to going on adventures like volcano climbing, I gather real life experiences to question and explore the world around me.

During sports, I am an ostrich, a bird that lacks the talent to fly and be light weight, the distinguishing characteristics among the birds. Similarly, I am, I must admit, not the skilled sportsman that my siblings are gifted to be. Instead of regretting our shortcomings, however, we both make up for our lack of talent, with spirit and hard work.

I am an umbrella that spreads in the rains as well as the sun to embrace the challenges and the opportunities that life has to offer. Similarly, I always try to stretch myself to the limits while enjoying life. However, like the umbrella, I shelter my base support, my values -integrity, honesty and hard work.

When it comes to responsibility, I am like the wood pecker that is persistent and continues to bang its head until the job is finished. This persistence is what drives me through endless nights of doing Pre-Calculus problems.

Of course, my personality will never be complete without mentioning creativity and versatility. In this aspect, I compare myself to a piece of paper. The versatility seen in the uses of this product parallels my own diverse interests. Painting abstract art and Arabic calligraphy, origami, chess, astronomy, paleontology, as well as learning new languages are few of my interests and hobbies that I cherish the most.

In group projects, I am like the water. Its characteristic affinity towards its kin molecules is what instigates in me a passion to work together with others in the group. Likewise, I am always open to new ideas, just like the universal solubility demonstrated by the water molecule.

And last but not the least, I am a flu virus, constantly adapting to fit my changing environment. Like the virus, I am always at work to improve and add upon my existing knowledge in addition to learning new one.

Thus, I try to integrate life in to my own life. By appreciating the actions, purpose, and significance of the small, yet important entities that exist in our world, I try to find inspiration to fight challenges. To Rice, I will contribute the perspective to learn and adapt from others experiences not only to my own.
sg120   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / A Miracle Baby - Common App Essay [6]

I think this is one of the best ones on essay forum. You should add the impact it had on you and you'll be good to go.
sg120   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'slowing down due to the obstacles' - Experience that affected me- Rice [2]

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Do you think it makes sense? Do you think it answers the question? Any harsh comments are welcome.

The moth, with a gleaming hope in its eyes, flapping its fragile wings, flew silently towards its destination, sometimes slowing down due to the obstacles in its flights, but never stopping. Although its frail, bronzed wings were hardly distinguishable from the surrounding, they continued to tussle against the wind, aiding the moth to further in its struggle to reach its destination, its love - light. I am no different than this moth.

On April 6, 2010, the moth, I, stood outside Clements High School, paused involuntarily with trepidation. I glanced through the glass door at the diverse mix of students that was passing by. In the trice when time stood frozen, one question reiterated in my mind. Will I be able to do it? Will I be able to achieve my goal? However, at this thought, instead of being intimidated, I straightened my posture. I reminded myself of my goal for which my family had immigrated to America from Pakistan. This goal was nothing else but a sincere advice that I had once received and to which I had clung on ever since - seek knowledge from cradle to grave. Repeating these words as answers to the uncertainty rising in my head added a pinch of confidence to the mixture of hope, expectation and apprehension boiling up inside my brain. With this enhanced confidence, I entered the school - an American high school - for the first time.

Even though I had passed the ESL proficiency test, I still had a lot to learn. I could understand written English to a limited extent, but was unable to understand what was spoken by my teachers and peers during in-class conversations. English wasn't my only problem. Even math, in which I had achieved a one hundred percent during my three year high school experience in Pakistan, was tough. Even though I excelled in Algebra, I only had limited knowledge about graphs and was even unaware of 'functions', since my school in Pakistan didn't focus on these. I didn't know how to use a graphing calculator because I had never seen one before in addition to the internet as well as the computer. In Pakistan, my only academic aids were my older cousins' books and my parents' brains, since technology was limited, internet was unavailable, and the library was five hours away in another city. Thus, all of these drawbacks added to my shortcomings. As a result, I was failing most of my classes. After seeing my failing grades, I was upset but not discouraged. In fact, I was motivated to work even harder in order to reach up to the potential of the students sitting next to me in class. By the end of the semester, my hard work earned me a low C. Now I was passing but still not satisfied. I was determined to work even harder to reach for light - towards education, to become a doctor.

When my senior year started I had a lot to juggle. I was taking night and weekend classes along with the regular seven period school coursework. I had taken only one Advance Placement class as advised by my counselor. I took World History, one of the hardest classes available at Clements, in order to challenge myself with the diverse knowledge that was offered by this subject. I also took Pre-calculus as opposed to my counselor's advice of taking Math Models. She said I won't be able to survive with my basic knowledge about graphs. But I decided to take the risk just because I wanted to learn, to understand what I didn't initially, and to increase my knowledge.

At first, I was unable to manage the course load and my time. I struggled with my classes but I was determined not to give up. The moth and the advice by my dad inspired me to work even harder. There were nights when I wouldn't sleep because my resolve wouldn't let me close my eyes. I would keep wake and work hard.

By the end of the year, even though I had turned into a zombie with sagging eyes, my transcript had turned into a piece of paper with bright, promising letters. My hard work had bore fruit. I had achieved an A in all of my classes. I had earned the highest in all of my classes, except for Pre-calculus in which I was second, along with an Academic Excellence award. Upon receiving my scores, I was content but not satisfied. Through my struggle, I had not only gained a rank among the top twenty percent of the students but also gained some valuable skills. I had learned time management by becoming skilled at prioritizing my work. I had learned how to juggle a tiresome work load. And most of all, I had finally gained in-depth knowledge about functions and had become quite adept at using a graphing calculator.

Thus, while reflecting on my goal, I find my struggle for education to be synonymous with a moth's exertion for light. A moth is involuntarily attracted towards light from birth. Its feeble, insipid wings are inconspicuous against the brightly colored world. Despite the ignorance expressed towards it, it never gives up. It continues to labor, overcoming the hindrances in its path and learning from each of the experiences. The moth doesn't stop until it reaches its destination and at that point, it dies. So from birth to its death the moth keeps determined to get near the light which fascinates its tiny existence.

My love for knowledge caused me to migrate to America. "Seek knowledge from cradle to grave." These words echo in my mind every minute, reminding me of my goal of gaining knowledge. The time I had spent at Clements raised my confidence and poise to a whole new level. During this time, I found that through hard work, determination and perseverance, I can not only survive but succeed and get closer to my destination. However, I did acknowledge that this seemingly small period of time is just a stepping stone in the larger journey towards the fulfillment of my aspiration. Through Rice, I plan on putting my existing skills to the test, again, and learning many more through a challenging environment, thus, building a concrete foundation in my struggle for medical school.

Thanks in advance!
sg120   
Jan 14, 2012
Undergraduate / 'despite her tedious work load' - Topic: Person that influenced me [NEW]

Due tomorrow. Any advice is welcome(:

The woman's appearance was that of a typical Pakistani female with frizzy gray hair tied in a bun. The thin deep lines that creased her tanned skin bore witness to her lifelong experiences. Her eyelids were chipped like a mosaic, while her brown lens, even though dark, never felt lifeless; a certain glow always resided in her seemingly drab eyes. This woman was the person who shaped my existence; she is my mother. Her presence comforted me when I was alone in the womb and her existence influenced me when I felt alone in this crowded world. Her influence impacted me to the extent that I developed many of her enthusiasms, including her adoration for knowledge. Eventually, I began to love the excitement of learning simply because I wanted to learn something new.

Every day, when my mother came home from work, she would call me to her bed. I perceptibly remember her tired, yet radiant figure holding a book from the library which was five hours away, but no two consecutive books were on the same subject; poetry, fiction, research, adventure, or just an encyclopedia, every kind of book was read to me. On a daily basis, despite her tedious work load, she read the book aloud to me, explaining what there was to be explained and singing what was there to be sung. Through her reading, she would take us around the world, from the mountains of the Himalayas to the deep under water abyss of the Pacific. I can still remember picturing myself as the mountaineer experiencing the cold and chilly wind while standing at top of the Everest, or as a mighty gladiator fighting a ferocious lion in the midst of the crowded Roman Coliseum or more so over, as the minute nucleic acid living peacefully in the DNA of an aggressive T-lymphocyte. Even though, we were not financially capable of having the first hand experience of visiting these places or doing research, through her efforts she opened my mind to the intricate world that surrounded me, heating the lust of knowledge that boiled in my brain.

While she made me aware of the world outside our home, she also enriched my daily life by making my everyday experiences worthwhile. In Pakistan, she would often take me to the bazaar, but not for shopping. While traveling through the narrow, rugged and crowded alleys of Pakistan, she would point to me the tiniest of the details, such as the brave ant struggling to find its way among the mighty foot steps to the grain of wheat that lay aloofly in the middle of the rough jagged road or the small dot of green mold in the remote corner that labored to cover the whole wall. These little maneuvers forced me to turn my attention from the busy crowd and the alluring sale merchandise towards the inconspicuous, yet captivating details about the busy street. In the years that passed, her exercises became my habit and I began to analyze the petty, yet important details that surrounded me in life.

Today, even though, I am away from the crowded Pakistani bazaars, my mom's actions still enrich my life, shaping not only my habits but also my thinking. I am able to not only analyze the minutiae about a situation but also relate them to matter at hand. Through her effort, I have become optimistic, looking for opportunity in the impossible. The love of knowledge that she lighted in my brain still burns bright. Each day brings an opportunity to discover something new simply for the love of learning about it.
sg120   
Dec 17, 2012
Undergraduate / Career goals, efforts, and diversity [4]

Hi everybody!
So below is my essay and the prompt. I want to know what you think about it. Do you think it addresses the prompt or is it completely useless? I hope some of you provide your valuable suggestions.

Prepare a one page essay (typed, single-spaced with 1-inch margins) describing your career goal(s), your reasons for choosing the career goal(s), and what you have done so far to prepare yourself for your career. Also, if you are selected for the program, how will you increase diversity at the University?

Ąhola, Ů...عحبا , ciao, ä˝ ĺĽ˝
These are one of the few languages in which I know how to say the very polite and respectful word "Hello". But this is not the only thing I want to say. I want to increase my knowledge about all the different languages, the cultures associated with them, and the people who make all these rich and beautiful global cultures. Therefore, I try my best to learn various languages and get a better understanding of their various origins. Generally, the resources are expensive. Henceforth, I use the free resources available in the library and through free websites such as Busu and Mango Languages.

Moreover, for my future, I want to materialize my passion for learning different languages into a practical career. For this reason, my interest in various languages and cultures fuels my future goal of becoming a doctor. I believe a doctor's job is one of the few careers where a lack of understanding of a patient's needs, demands, and problems leads to a failure of communication, which may not only become the cause of complexities in the treatment but may also lead to the death of the patient in severe circumstances. Therefore, a doctor's career brings my goals and hobbies together and puts them to a practical use of helping people through communication and skills.

To better prepare myself for my career, I volunteer as an ESL teacher for adults through the Learn English Ministry. There, I work with a diverse group of people who range from one's who know little about English to others who know many languages, people who recently immigrated to the U.S. to one's who have lived in America for the past fifty years, eighteen year old young-adults to sixty-nine year old grandparents; I interact with all these people and not only teach them but also learn from them. These interactions help me understand people and discover better ways of communicating and connecting with them to solve their problems from an improved perspective.

Furthermore, I also volunteer at the Houston Museum for Natural Sciences Sugar Land. The experiences that I accumulate every time I spend some time there help make me a person as diverse as the museum! I show little kids as well as corporate employs how informational and enlightening a museum can be and in the process increase my knowledge about the ecosystem, dinosaurs, minerals, and even ants. In a way, volunteering at HMNS helps me satisfy my thirst for information and knowledge about history and sciences.

However, I do not want to be left behind in today's world of technology and innovation. Therefore, when I think about my future, I envision a doctor that is well equipped with the skills for successful computing and information management. Consequently, I worked hard to achieve the Microsoft Office Specialist certification in Word and PowerPoint along with gaining extensive training in Excel and Access. I am also working on my typing speed and one of my short-term goals is to increase it at least to 50 wpm by the end of the Spring 2013 semester.

Last but not the least, I believe that the diversity of behavior within an individual is an important factor in making a group not only diverse but also successful. I volunteer at the Learn English Ministry and the Houston Museum of Natural Sciences and make efforts to improve my language and computer skills in order to learn new ideas, to become more accepting of other cultures, to enhance my communication skills, and to gather multifarious knowledge in order to become a more diverse individual. This multifaceted approach challenges me to continuously improve and develop my knowledge and skills so that I may become a well-rounded citizen who can talk to everybody and has something to share that interests every person I talk to.
sg120   
Dec 17, 2012
Undergraduate / Career goals, efforts, and diversity [4]

Thank you guys for all your suggestions, so I am just planning on skipping the first paragraph. What do you think?
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