Undergraduate / 'serve on the FUHSD school board' - Common App: Extracurricular - too boring? [4]

Everyone else's I see seem to be pretty poetic in the sense of pretty language and descriptive writing... but mine is just straightforward. Is that bad?

Here it is.

Currently as a senior, I serve on the FUHSD school board as the sole representative of over 10,000 students. I take special pride in this because I am the first in 18 years to hold this position as a Homestead high student.

For my duties, I attend board meetings twice a month where I sit with the panel of trustees and the superintendent. At the meetings, I have voting power and am fortunate enough to oversee matters such as a $200 million bond budget. This year, I enjoy taking part in the longstanding decisions of construction projects, knowing that my voice will affect the future generations of students. The rest of my work involves meeting with the intra-district council and attending district events, the most memorable of which was the opening of our school's new stadium. There, the trustees introduced me and I gave a speech, also dressed in the band uniform as a drum major.

Feedback greatly appreciated,
Thanks!

Undergraduate / 'Human' - Stanford - What Matters to You and Why? [7]

Not gonna lie, threw this together really quickly so there's probably a ridiculous amount of errors lol.

I'm a little iffy on the topic too, so any feedback would be awesome.

Anyways:

When the car rounded the corner I sprinted through the cold air like a gazelle after its lunch, feeling nothing but the warmth of pure exhilaration. In the instance I was the runner in a game of Fugitive, and to me, nothing mattered more than the adrenaline pushing my body to reach the next hiding spot. I felt alert, simple, and motivated. I felt human. This is what matters to me.

In the midst of academic immersion I find myself, like many others, forgetting what it means to be human in the most fundamental of ways. I go to school, go to practice, go home, study more and practice more; my brain habituates. To break that habit I tease fear and venture out into the dark, allowing my basic senses to take over. As with Fugitive, a game of chase in the nakedness of night, I find myself on familiar streets but as a different person, a simple human, void of ambient tedium. In is in those moments that I realize stress is no more than a folly and come to peace with the joys of running wild, both body and mind.

My three close friends who, by the way are all cerebral studs, also join me in another breathtaking night adventure. At least once a month, we dedicate ourselves to scale the trails of a nearby park, Rancho San Antonio. As cross-country runners, we are all accustomed to the paths as a result of hundreds of miles of sweat and dust. However, at midnight, Rancho becomes a strikingly alien environment. The mountains come alive with the sounds of unknown creatures and the scene dims to set of vague, dark shapes, rendering my hearing acute and my sight keen. It is in those times where I find myself a simple human, detached from commonplace worries and instead imbued with a certain terror and fascination with the land around me.

I'll admit it, these are odd hobbies, but those are the nights that inspire the deepest of my appreciation for a life on this planet. Being human is what matters to me.

My deepest gratitude.

Undergraduate / Common App - Extracurricular - School Board [8]

Dramatic changes from the last time I posted... less straightforward and more about me, I hope.

Revisions and feedback are greatly appreciated!

The gavel drops and roll call begins. Past the first four trustees, it finally comes to me, "Jesse Qin?" "Here," I reply. My name plate sits next to the microphone, and my portrait hangs on the wall, quite a dashing scene. As a senior, I serve on the FUHSD school board as the sole representative of over 10,000 students.

The responsibility is great, and the honor is grand. At the meetings, I have voting power and am fortunate enough to oversee matters such as a $200 million bond budget. The experience is truly amazing, connecting with students, staff and community towards district development. This year, I have been fortunate enough to take part in the longstanding decisions of rising construction projects that will undoubtedly affect the future generations of students. To me, that's priceless.

I suppose leaving a historical footprint has always been a pursuit of mine, and serving on the board is definitely a great start.

Thank you!