Undergraduate / 'I am not challenging myself enough' - Transfer application, Sophomore [4]

Hello everyone,
The title says it all, and the essay prompt was from the commonapp transfer essay: "Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve." I have 392 words here.

I'll take any suggestions and edits on this, and thank you in advance for your help. really tensed about this.

As a student in today's world, facing challenges is effluent, and even enjoyable. It's what adds the interest and fun to an otherwise black-and-white academic experience. I'd like to transfer because I feel that at my current institute, I am not challenging myself enough. I feel that college should encompass every element of life, both in the classroom and beyond. Simply put, I envision going to college where there are more procreative challenges, and more opportunities to get out from behind the textbook and into the community of your peers. To achieve this, I believe a change is necessary.

When I first applied to college, I was relatively new to the admissions process. I am a first-generation college student, so my family could offer me little advice. My mother and I were in the basics of doing college research, and my father's primary concern was the financing involved. Though I obtained useful advice online and from fellow peers, deadlines were approaching fast and in the end, I picked several colleges based on superfluous characteristics. Consequently, I received few positive results. Though I did get some acceptances, I still feel that I could have done better.

Peer involvement has always been an important factor in my past. Everyone was very competitive, bright and ambitious, which added to the flavor of achievement. Discussion and debate played an integral part in all high school courses, turning even the most routine of classes into creative learning. At City College, moderate class sizes and interactive learning have been very helpful in enhancing college life. This, coupled with the enthusiastic professors, is the high point of my experience. However, most students are only interested for a class because it is necessary for their major. As a result, in-class discussion and peer involvement have been limited to necessity rather than enthusiasm.

I'd like to transfer because I feel that at my current institute, I am not challenging myself enough. Additionally, when I first applied, I'd so in a more hurried and cursory fashion that I would have liked, and I think that my abilities as a student merit me the opportunity to study at a more challenging university. I also think that I can make more of a profound impact on the world and my life by transferring, because it proves that I am more worthy of another school.

Undergraduate / Meditation- CommonApp EC short answer response [3]

The word limit is 1000 characters. Topic: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below.

29 degrees. Outside, thick frost coated the pitch-black streets. Dawn still seemed hours away. The warm, comforting grasp of my blanket held me enticingly, reluctant to let me go. It felt strange waking up so early on a Saturday. I felt filled, however, thinking of the peace that awaited me. As briskly as possible, without disturbing the quiet, I washed the sleep from my eyes and prepared to meditate.

I enjoy probing with different postures, and it often takes a while to get my muscles poised comfortably. The discomfort of sitting stiffly is gradually replaced by a sense of calm and detachment. As I tap into my spirituality, new ideas and greater focus replace weariness and stress. Slowly, my conscience weaves higher into the clouds of tranquility. At its climax, I am atop a mountain, overlooking the calm expanse of my entire mind. My focus drifts to the edges, where the sun rises over my future. In reality, I open my eyes and see the sun rising, ushering the start of a positive day.

I'm not so sure about the 1st paragraph, but I wanted to give it an interesting start. Hope you enjoy critiquing it. Thanks in advance!

Undergraduate / Peer2Peer study group/My interests in transfering CommonApp Essays [4]

I hope you enjoy reading critiquing my essays as much as I enjoyed writing them!

Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

It was a chilly December night as the clock chimed 11pm, and what felt like the most important decision of my life approached its deadline. I took a solitary glance over the contents of my computer screen, with a sense of elation and prelude rushing through my mind. Nervousness briefly rattled my thoughts, but I pushed it aside as last-minute stress. With a deep breath, I hovered my cursor over the submit button, and in a single fluid stroke, I was pledged to an academic path that I knew little of.

As a first generation college student, progressing through applications was an impressive challenge. During my senior year, I began to familiarize myself with the application process, and learned more about college research. Through the internet and other resources, I managed to get a good grip on the basics. My family could offer little advice to me on this, however, and so I turned to school advisors for more intimate details. While the information they furnished proved beneficial, it was more general than specific to my major and interests. In the end, I applied to several colleges, based primarily on superfluous aspects. Though I received 3 acceptances, I felt that the bulk of my knowledge and intellect was unsatisfied, and that I was capable of doing better.

I entered the gates of City College at the dawn of fall, earnest but diffident. Equipped only with my knowledge of the surrounding cityscape, and the company of a few high school friends, I strode out to face this new endeavor. I explored the panorama of New York City, embraced newfound friends and peers, and marched eagerly into lecture halls, my bag laden with notebooks and pencils, all in the name of learning. But as time passed and winter snow replaced the autumn leaves, so too was my enthusiasm cooled and tarnished.

City College offers over a hundred majors, and a myriad of courses. And yet, concentration on Biomedical Engineering, my field of interest, is sparse. The program consists of a highly intuitive syllabus based around preparation for conventional industry work. Biomedical Engineering extends beyond a general syllabus, branching into specialized concentrations, such as cell and tissue engineering, bioimaging, biophotonics and drug delivery. Though the syllabus was rigorous, it left little room to expand into these specific areas, and deterred my intent to concentrate on tissue engineering and cell grafting.

The rigorous standards of British Curriculum high school left my mind swimming in books and theories. Since that time, I firmly believed college would bring out a pragmatic sense to education. Dreams of slicing away at the membrane of some unknown bacteria, creating LED displays from fluorescent microbes and even playing board games with living protozoa came to mind when I thought of college education. Sadly, it was not long before I discovered that undergraduate research was open to juniors and seniors only. Such opportunities were primarily tailored with prerequisites, either available only to specific concentrations or with enrollment restrictions. I felt intellectually trussed, bound from exploring the practicalities of my major.

As with many urban campuses, there is a lack of cohesion in the undergraduate body; the majority of students flow into and out of campus with the rising and setting sun. I am seeking a solid, unifying atmosphere, away from the machinations of careerism or the use of binoculars to locate professors in class. It should instigate an atmosphere which strives to nurture the growth of friendship and the pursuit of knowledge - a place I can call home.

One year later, I find myself in that familiar position before the computer screen. The clock chimes 11pm as a cool February day draws to a close. I glance down at my desk, now strewn with school reviews, student assessments and major requirement forms. Setting my cursor over the submit button, I click, assured of this choice as I enter a new chapter of my life.

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

I had learned from an early age that knowledge was not uniform. Many were prodigious in one topic, but weak in others. It seemed more efficient to pool together what we knew in a collective system, promoting student cohesion and better grades. To this end, I started a peer-based Chemistry tutoring group with a few friends, run by the students, for the students.

It began as an online forum on Facebook, an easy method of public communication. Other City College social networks and students helped us spread the word. I even asked my professors to announce it, amplifying its message. As its size increased, the group grew more self-sufficient and peer run. Soon, live Q&A sessions and study groups were complementing the online forums. Test grades and morale soared to new heights. The group allowed me to meet many new people, by helping them and being helped in turn. It was a wonderful experience, and I look forward to continuing Peer-2-Peer tutoring throughout my college tenure.