Scholarship / HSF:Describe a recent academic challenge you have faced. Explain how you overcame it. [6]

This is one of three essays I'm writing for the Hispanic Scholarship Fund. I was asked to "Describe a recent academic challenge you have faced. Explain how you overcame it." It needs to be 400-600 words and is about 15 words over. What could I shorten or take out? Is it too personal and informal for a scholarship application? Any type of input is appreciated. Thank you!

For two years, I had been a student at Campbell High School. I was one of the illustrious IB breed. We were a strange bunch, making jokes about parabolas and speaking foreign languages to each other in the hallways. I had fallen in love with the program-the passionate teachers, the supportive network of students-but during my sophomore year, I realized the toll the program was taking on my parents. The school was forty-five minutes away, making extracurriculars difficult to impossible. The students were so spread out that getting together for a project was as hard as the project itself. The greatest problem though, was that I needed to help my parents pay for my college education. I transferred to my home school, Sprayberry, and found a job at a daycare.

A few weeks before school started, I went in for a meeting with my new counselor. As I walked through the door she said, "Congratulations, you're a senior!" Perplexed, I managed to utter a confused "What?" I was going into my junior year. Freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. That was the order, right? The counselor began to speak and I listened intently. She told me she had looked at my transcript and that I needed only four more credits to graduate. At first, my thoughts were those of celebration but soon I became apprehensive. Was I ready for this? After weighing the pros and cons I eventually decided to follow through. I would graduate in the spring of 2013. The decision led me to take a load of challenging AP courses and study intensely for the SAT.

I had taken AP classes before but they seemed all-new at Sprayberry. My US History class in particular gave me trouble. After each quiz, the teacher would post a list announcing who had earned the top three grades. When I checked it after the first quiz and didn't see my name, I was crushed. Anxious to claim my spot at the top, I started creating outlines and defining important terms for each chapter. I put in my best work and it showed on the next quiz; I made it to second place. I'd met my original goal but now I had caught a fever. I made flashcards to study on my phone and in any spare moment I could find-on the bus, in the car-I would pull them up and go over them. We took the next quiz and a few days later the list was posted-first place. Since then, I've come in first every time.

With college deadlines bumped up a full year, I hurried to study for the SAT. I spent at least an hour a day on practice tests and as the test date got nearer and nearer, I began to dedicate three, even four or five hours a day to studying. I kept myself motivated by organizing study groups with friends. We took practice tests together, compared our scores, and rewarded ourselves with frozen yogurt for especially good results. The support, competition, and set scheduling of our weekly study sessions helped me tremendously. When I got my test scores back, they had risen 300 points from my first diagnostic test.

A new school presented a new set of difficulties. My sudden transition from junior to senior status came with serious challenges, demanding coursework and a looming standardized test, but I refused to accept anything less than first place. After an initial struggle, I pushed myself to overcome the obstacles I faced, putting my best foot forward and facing my problems head on.

Scholarship / Short + long-term career/academic goals and how my Hispanic heritage influenced them [2]

I need a little longer conclusion so i have to cut some stuff. 600 max word count. Thanks in advance.

The room was full of smiles and laughter. Strings of bright, intricately-cut papers swooped across the ceiling. Looking around, I could see people young and old talking, eating, dancing, and enjoying themselves. Enticed by the smell of tamales, I made my way to the food stand, handed a woman my ticket and in exchange, received a steaming plate of food and a cup of horchata. I sat down with my family to watch the shows; a mariachi band played folk music and a group of young girls in hand-sewn flouncy dressed performed a traditional Mexican dance.

My dad, a kindergarten teacher at Green Acres Elementary, had made this night possible: a Latin Festival for the students of his school aimed at making the Hispanic population feel at home. By putting the organization of this event in their hands, they gained a sense of empowerment and belonging. For likely one of the first times, society was raising their heritage into the spotlight rather than looking down on it.

Eager to follow my dad's example, I began to consider ways to give back to my community. Initially I rejected teaching as too simple; I couldn't just follow in my parents' footsteps. Yet, as I thought more and more about what I wanted to do, I kept coming back to the idea. As a teacher, I would have the ability to reach out to my students and help them succeed. I recalled the teachers who had influenced me and wished to be that influence in someone else's life. I started to picture myself in the classroom, at the board instead of behind a desk. My heritage would provide the perfect skill set. I was bilingual, allowing me to communicate with parents and students. My knowledge of cultural differences would help me understand a family's needs.

In fact, I'd already begun to make use of these traits at my daycare. Two Hispanic children, Jhonny and Dulce, came in one day, hardly able to speak a word of English. Although I had noticed they were a little shy, when their mother left the room, they started to cry inconsolably. The combined stresses of being left alone and not comprehending what was happening around them was too much to carry all at once. I started to speak to them in Spanish, asking them their names, their ages, questions about their day. After a few minutes, they calmed down. Then they surprised me. Out of nowhere, Jhonny asked, "żCĂłmo te llamas?" "żDe dĂłnde eres?" his little sister wanted to know. The connection I had been able to make with these children confirmed my desire to begin my career as a teacher. Now it was time to make progress towards it.

My parents continually emphasized my education so I came to regard my academic performance as an integral part of how I defined myself. These ideals could be traced back to my grandfather, a high-ranking officer in the Venezuelan navy who had been sent to MIT to study. The experience led him to value education, so when his own children finished high school, he decided to send all six of them, including my mom, to the US for college. Consequently, the same attitude towards education was passed down to me. Since I had always been expected to excel in school, I had the grades to get into the program of my choice and I decided to major in education at the University of Georgia.

My Hispanic heritage helped me find my passion and provided me with the academic motivation to turn that passion into a career.

Undergraduate / CHILDCARE QUEEN; My important or rewarding Activities & Why? [4]

As the daughter of a preschool and a kindergarten teacher, I was destined to become a childcare queen. Last summer, I set out looking for a job assuming I'd be stuck flipping burgers or at best, behind a desk, but was pleasantly surprised when I found a job at a daycare.

I was blessed with an abnormally good group of kids. If there are usually four or five rotten apples in a bushel, I had just one, a spoiled three year old named Faith. Every day when her parents left the room, the showdown began. She would throw herself dramatically to the floor, wailing in misery. How dare they leave her in this desolate wasteland? In a fit of rage, she screamed and threw entire mountains of toys clear across the room, never slowing for a second. When I tried to stop her, she ran from me and cried under the door for her mom, who reliably came to her rescue.

The first week, she wore me down, but the second, I came back with an iron resolve-I would fix her. I had to for my own sanity. Originally I tried a positive reinforcement system adapted from my dad's kindergarten class; she could earn a star for being good and at five stars, she would receive a prize. She never got a single star. Bargaining with a small child was a near impossible task, so I switched my tactics. I started to ignore her, playing with other kids as she threw her usual fit. At some point, she would get jealous, stop crying, and come join in. After a few weeks of this, she began to realize her tantrums only worked at home. She calmed down, eventually stopping the tantrums altogether.

Faith is now one of my best kids. One day, she brought me a crude ladybug drawing with heart stickers all around it. "I love you, Miss Amanda," she stated matter-of-factly. The difference between who she was and who she is now is astounding. Obviously there were other factors involved in the transition, but knowing I helped her makes my job meaningful and worthwhile. Fixing Faith is one of the most rewarding things I've done.

Undergraduate / TEACHING BY TWELVE; Given the resources, what will you seek to better understand? [3]

If you guys could help me out with this, I would really appreciate it and give you a highly detailed edit of your essay. Thanks in advance!

While most middle school students took advantage of their late arrival time by staying in bed until nine o' clock, I chose to spend my time in a first grade classroom. In the mornings before school, I visited Addison Elementary and read with Bacari, working our way through books and sounding out words together. By age twelve, I had already discovered a passion. As I matured, so did this passion. In high school, I started to tutor my peers on a weekly basis through after school programs and informal study sessions. During my sophomore year, I started working at a daycare and fell even further in love with teaching. Although all that my job required was to make sure kids didn't hurt themselves, I aimed to teach each child something before they left, often through play. A movie theater concession stand provided multiplication practice for the older kids and counting practice for the younger ones. We had letter parades where each child chanted a letter's sound, helping reinforce what they had been learning in school. These experiences were enjoyable but education as a profession requires techniques that I lack.

I plan to develop these techniques at UGA. The university's college of education is one of the best known and largest programs in the country, consistently ranking in the top twenty. A base of classes would provide me with an understanding of fundamental theories and smaller-sized honors classes would allow for further discussion and discovery. While classes provide concepts, hands-on practice solidifies them. Getting involved with UGA's various partnership programs such as Thomas Lay and Math Counts would serve a dual purpose: becoming more familiar with my field and helping the elementary and middle school students of my new Athens community. A student teaching position at a local high school would round out my experience; by working with all ages K-12, I could make an informed decision about which grade level I would want work with.

I aim to improve my abilities as a teacher by gaining a solid grasp on the Spanish language. The opportunity to teach abroad through the Honors International Scholars Program would be an invaluable asset to me as traveling to another part of the world teaches lessons in both language and culture that cannot be taught in the classroom. My Spanish class was a full language immersion one and due to constant exposure to the language, I managed to score a 7 on a mock IB exam after just one semester. If one class increased my fluency by so much, a semester abroad would cause it to grow by leaps and bounds. Spanish classes tend to fall short when teaching culture, simply asking students to memorize and regurgitate definitions. As a consequence, Spain is seen by most as bull fights, gypsies, and flamenco, a representation that neglects the country's rich history and social nuances. The fact is: hearing about a culture always falls short of actually living in it. My dad has used his knowledge of Spanish extensively in his career as a teacher, not only to communicate with parents and students but also to coordinate cultural events like his school's Latino Festival. I intend to apply my minor in Spanish in much the same way.

I have been taking steps towards my goal since a young age and plan to keep taking them during college and throughout my life. At UGA, I will continue raising the bar for myself so that when I graduate I can begin working in the profession I love and make my twelve-year-old self proud.

Undergraduate / The pass read "Mentorship 12:00"; How have you helped build your community? [2]

I am two words from the maximum word count so if I need to put something in, I've got to find something to take out. I know it's a boring subject so I promise you a detailed edit of your paper in return for your help. Thanks in advance!

The pass read "Mentorship 12:00". My classmates peaked over, jealous of my opportunity to leave class. I was thankful for the break, but also slightly intrigued. I eagerly awaited noon, curious what the pass was for. Finally it was time and I made my way to the auditorium. Anxious as I was, I was one of the first to arrive. As other students poured into the room, I noticed they were all Latinos. This struck me as odd but for some reason, I didn't put two and two together.

Once the meeting began, everything started to add up. The program was designed to help Hispanic students transition to college. The sponsor of the program, Ms. Arnett, shared a frightening statistic with us: only 19% of Latinos have a degree above a high school diploma. The aim of this program was to increase that percentage. Many of the students in the club would be the first in their families to go to college and needed someone to guide them. The college process was difficult enough for a native speaker, but the language barrier complicated things further.

By the end of the first meeting, I had decided to be active within the club. Its purpose resonated with me, and as someone who had worked extensively to prepare for college, I felt I had a lot to share. After several messages back and forth with the sponsor, I took over some key responsibilities, sending out reminder emails and leading conversations. I provided the students with a spreadsheet of scholarships, categorized, color-coded, and complete with description, requirements, and due date. Although all this was helpful, the club seemed to lack something. We needed to make it real for the students.

We called on the students of Georgia State University to help us achieve this goal. Every other week, they would come down to our school and talk to us. Our mentors were there to answer any questions we might have and provide us with information and techniques that would be useful in college. Together with these mentors, we set goals, explored extracurricular options, and learned about the application process for admission and scholarships. It was inspiring to see college students who had already finished the strenuous ordeal themselves willingly do it over again for the benefit of other Latino students. To extend the experience past club meeting times, I created a Facebook page to allow the high schoolers to contact their mentors at any time. Things had finally clicked into place.

The club fulfilled its intended purpose of educating Latinos about college, but it did more than that. Mentorship provided students with safe place to share and explore, a place where they were not afraid to dream about their futures and work their hardest to get there. Members gained a sense of Hispanic community and developed pride in their culture. As I pass this club on, I feel pride knowing that it will continue to provide a nurturing environment for younger generations.