Undergraduate / Thriving in a competitive marching band; Stanford - Intellectual Essay [6]

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

Thriving in a competitive marching band played a major role in my life as a student. During my freshman year in the marching band, the band director gathered her students and told us that she wanted us to win a position in the semifinals of the Bands of America Grand National Championships, an honor that less than ten schools within hundreds of miles have received. Her passion siphoned within the entire band and, as the season progressed, that opportunity to seize such an honor became a pivotal part in all of our lives. That November, we lost. In a 1 hundred point system, the difference between our performance and semifinals was a decimal. Next season, we came back with more passion, with our heads held high, and we failed again, however, finally, on our third attempt, we won a semifinals appearance and the three year journey that required over 1 thousand hours of dedication, shaped the basic principles to who I am. I am willing to spend obscene hours to accomplish a goal, I will set meaningful goals, and I will forge on after set backs. In my leisure time, I watched a two hour debate, led by Neil Degrasse Tyson, a famous astrophysicist, on string theory. The complexity of their jargon astounded me and I quickly gained interest in the field and wanted to be a part of innovations, discoveries, and science. Tyson talked about how science can inspire an entire nation, about how when Neil Armstrong took his first step on the moon, people were proud to be an American. I feel that with my talent in science and math, my work ethic gained from the band, and my passion to aid in the next innovation that inspires millions of people again, I can make something big happen.

Be mean with the critique please, also do you guys believe this follows the prompt?

Thanks in advance.

Undergraduate / I can be a useful asset to you on the weekends; Stanford Room mate Essay [6]

Greetings future roommate,

My persona closely resembles a balanced blend of that of James Bond's, Stephen Hawking's, John Lennon's, and Giacomo Casanova's personality, because I'm as good with the ladies as I am with my TI-84 Plus Silver Edition Calculator, I fight bad guys and star in movies annually, I play and listen to a large array of music, and I am calm and collected under pressure. To call me a band nerd would be accurate, because I will frequently leave the room to go practice trumpet, and I often listen to works such as Clair de Lune or Liebestraum. However, I can quickly change from classical to rap. I am assertive, and , consequently, I like to debate with others and make blunt statements. Aside from the nuisances of my personality, I go into phases of deep thought, usually inspired by night or by a classical piece of music, and take the time to dream. My dreams are modestly reasonable. For example, as I am writing this essay, I am dreaming of a day in the near future when we have a spaceship that can travel to the Andromeda galaxy by taking a shortcut through the 5th dimension ( Don't blame me for that thought, blame the string theorists) . I fully believe that you and I will have a great relationship, because I can tolerate most behavior from people, as long as said behavior doesn't involve playing Taylor Swift on loop, and I am interested in most hobby's that many people participate in no matter how obscure. The reclusive, competitive video gamer and the star quarterback reside on the same terrace in my heart and I expect the same open-mindedness from you as my roommate as well. Due to the fact that you and I will be , undoubtedly, studying for twelve hours a day, I can be a useful asset to you on the weekends, because I am quite the wing man. Most importantly, however, you will never beat me at guitar hero.

Lets make good grades, meet new women, and make a mark.
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I was going for confidence, edge, a bit of humor, and most importantly a depth of my character.

Accomplished?

Undergraduate / Unorthodox spin on common practices ; Stanford/ What matters and why? [2]

What matters to you, and why?
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What trait do iconic figures such as Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Duke Ellington, and Herman Melville share? Each were brave enough to assert their unorthodox spin on common practices. Colleagues thought Einstein turned mad when he proposed that light was simply something that can be bent by gravity, respected physicist such as Robert Hooke bashed Newton because the idea of an invisible force pulling everything toward one point was outlandish and mathematicians such as Michel Rolle labeled Newton's creation, differential calculus, as a "collection of ingenious fallacies." Ellington popularized jazz music and upset many people clinging to the old rhythms and melodies of the romantic, classical, and baroque periods when he wrote swung eighth notes and used innovative blues chords. Melville died disrespected when he tried to write a very deep, analytic story because the only profitable books at the time were romanticized adventure stories such as "Typee". Upon the release of deep tale, the public silently shunned Melville for writing such a dull story, and, unfortunately, he died forgotten. Only years later did the public find any value in "Moby Dick."

I raise my glass to all of these people, because they had the tenacity to overcome every distasteful comment slung from the mud and every financial hardship. All of these people, however, knew that what they believed in, what they knew to be true, would eventually pay off in the long run. Some of these people died waiting. Courage matters to me because, without courage, none of these brilliant innovations would have made it past the infant stages of the drawing board. Society might have never known why apples fall, never pondered how light behaves, never listened to the mysterious ambiance of jazz, or never read a controversial novel. When I become a scientist, and discover something amazing in a lab, I will support my findings, with a level head, with every fiber of my being and stand up for what I believe in.

I would like opinions on my essay, thanks :)