Writing Feedback / Young adults should learn to become financially responsibleSECU [4]

Hi there. Some grammatical suggestions for you regarding first opening paragraph:

Opening sentence: Instead of using the word "Wow" use an exclamation mark to get the point across. You have also doubled up on the "ever before" bit.

Wow, it is easier then everyever to fall through a financial sink hole today!than ever before.

High speed transactionselectronic channelsandare extremely easy/efficient transaction mediums of transaction s areandare acceptable and available everywhere nowadays.

I would avoid using slang words like "really". You can keep the writing tone conversational without using words like "really".
Also, I was confused as to whether your card was a credit or debit card - aren't they both different cards?

I own a credit card- well really it's a debit card -I have a PayPal account and an amazon prime account and really allalthough this new technology reaps plenty of benefits for me, but I know that with a little less self-control and temperance these niceconvenient innovations can become some very damaging and fiscally crippling monetary tools.

Undergraduate / Cancers and Alzheimers have affected my education; special circumstances [6]

Hi there: final sentence:

AS A RESULT OF working and caring for my family, I WAS dismissed FROM two different quarters because I was unable to meet minimum unit progress and grade point averages during THE QUARTER.

Undergraduate / Explore opportunities; Why Industrial Engineering at U OF T [5]

Hi there - firstly good luck with your application. Just a few grammatical suggestions:

looking forward to be a successful = looking forward to becoming a successful
I've dream with the idea = I've dreamed of the idea
Through time = over time
developed the ability of problem solving = developed the ability to problem solve
blow up my skills = build up my skills
who doesn't know my skills = who don't know my skills
as soon as I say my dream is to become an industrial engineer = when I tell them that I want to become an industrial engineer.

Try this sentence regarding the stereotype:
Stereotypically being feminine or pretty is often synonymous with weakness, but throughout my life I have proved that this is untrue.

I am excited to explore all the opportunities that university will open up to my lifeholds for me .
I believe that the University of Toronto offers the right and highhighest level of education that I need to become a successful engineer, and that it offers endless opportunities will be endless.

Writing Feedback / Technological innovation is important / Reason [3]

Hi. The internet is indeed a good choice for this essay topic! It's probably the most important advancement of our time.

A few grammatical and other suggestions:

These inventions took significant place in all nations' livings. = These inventions played a significant part in many nations world-wide.

Apart from those, other innovations such as Internet facilitate all part of people's life. = In addition to these innovations, the internet has helped to facilitate many aspects of life for many people. [Note that perhaps I wouldn't say all people as there are still quite a large number of people across the world who do not have internet access.]

In addition, Internet is a way to entertain freely to some extent = To some extent the internet also offers free entertainment.
make shopping = do shopping

For the conclusion, perhaps bring it back to the topic of how the internet has helped changed the way nations interact on a global scale. So write about global libraries, global shopping sites etc and how this all facilitates easy interaction between different nations across the globe.

Hope that helps, and good luck with the rest.

Writing Feedback / IELT TASK 1: Percentage of male and female teachers [6]

Hi there - here are some suggestions for your opening paragraph:

the two systems with the youngest age ranges of learners were dominated by women, but in the other ones, the proportions of men were equal or even more than those of women. = Teaching positions in nursery and primary schools are dominated by women, while teaching positions at universities are dominated by men. Both men and woman are represented more equally for teaching positions at secondary schools, colleges and private training institutes.

Letters / I wanted to study interior-design; motivation letter: internship abroad [2]

Hi, good job. Just a few corrections with grammar and spelling:

witch = which
Note that interior design is 2 words.
I went to follow a one year course at BBB = I went on to complete a one year course at BBB
I graduated my Bachelor degree with cum laude = I graduated with my Bachelors degree cum laude
I will graduate a Master of Science = I will graduate with a Master of Science
During my studies I only have had the chance = During my studies I've only had the chance
quit = quite
for recently graduates = for recent graduates
expanded to much = expanded too much
But in my search I prioritised the company instead of on the Country that is why I also = But in my search I prioritised the company instead of the Country, which is why...

Hope this helps.

Research Papers / One Health Club. I need corrections in my research abstract [2]

Hi there. Just a few suggestions:

The student clubs are to develop and conduct = The purpose of the student clubs are to develop and conduct OR the student clubs were established to develop and conduct...

on a higher pitch = on a high note
In the second paragraph put a full stop before the word however.
however, the club has not over the past months made solid developments = However, the club has not made solid developments over the past months because of...

Be careful of writing very long sentences, they are hard to comprehend. Break down the sentences.
i researched on 2 secondary school interact clubs that is; = I researched two secondary school interact clubs, namely Interact club of Mengo Senior School and Lubiri High School. I also researched two university student associations....

These were essential for the continuity of the associations for they didn't only guide the leaders in office but as = These were essential for the continuity of the associations as they didn't only guide the leaders in office but also orientated