Undergraduate / 'Most people love Christmas' - University of Florida essay ("my life change"), suggestions? [21]

Prompt: In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.

Unless your name is Ebenezer Scrooge, most people love Christmas. Everyone gets so caught up in the excitement and magic that comes with the holiday season, it provides an escape from the harsh reality of everyday life. At least it always has for me. I can recall almost every Christmas I've had since I was three. Every Christmas has been a stepping stone into new experiences and life changes.

On December 25th 1995, I woke up to Jingle Bells playing on the radio and the smell of Christmas trees. I walked out into the living room to find myself surrounded by presents wrapped in shiny red and green paper. I opened my mouth in amazement. I tore through all the presents like Godzilla would have on a helpless city. Once I was done, my parents exchanged gifts. They were truly happy. I could see it in their faces. Everything was perfect.

A year later, it was Christmas again, except it was completely different. My dad's job relocated him to the Dominican Republic, requiring all of us to move there. My dad was happy because that's where he was originally from, my mom on the other hand loved our life in Miami and didn't want to leave. They started fighting more often, something I had never witnessed. Later the same year, my mom fell ill. She spent most of her time in the hospital. I had no clue about what was going on. I stayed with my grandparents until my mom was finally strong enough to leave the hospital. That Christmas, my mom was able to join us in the celebration and I was in a new home. Everything seemed to be getting back to normal.

Christmases stayed normal, until my parents finally decided to get a divorce. My dad lost his job and my parents started fighting even more. I had already gotten used to not being around my dad because he was never home. The only thing that truly impacted me was my mom's decision to move back to Florida. This would be my last Christmas in the Dominican Republic and I couldn't believe it. That Christmas, however, was the first time I saw my mom truly happy in a long time. I had mixed feelings about what the future held for me, but in the long run I knew everything would be okay.

Christmas since then has never been as magical as the one I can first recall. It is still, however, the only time of year in which every thing makes sense. Nothing goes wrong and I feel truly complete.

Looking back on my Christmases, I realize the incredible roller coaster I've gone through in life. I can't pick one specific experience because all my experiences have helped shape the person I am today. Facing the obstacles in my life has taught me how to be strong and determined.

At UF, I will go through college with strength to face any challenge that comes my way. I know that in order to succeed, one must be willing to go through the struggle and work hard. I think that it's important to take risks and discover new things so that one can really get the most out college. I also feel that living in a different country will help me contribute new perspectives and ideas to the UF campus community. Going to UF is another life change that I will welcome and try the most that I can in order to make my dreams come true.

Undergraduate / UCF Admissions essay - family history environment / culture - suggestions / proofread? [21]

How has your family history environment or culture influenced who you are?

My culture and environment have shaped the person I am today in every possible way. I spent my childhood in the Dominican Republic, an island just south of Puerto Rico and within swimming distance of Haiti. I moved to the Dominican Republic when I was three and moved back to the United States when I was thirteen. Living in a different country for most of my life forced me to become absorbed into its culture.

In the Dominican Republic, there is a definite need to succeed. People who are driven are respected amongst their peers while those who are indolent face rejection. There is competition in everything that is done because being the best means absolutely everything. Some may view this negatively, but I would have to disagree. I think a little competition makes a person want to work harder in order to get what they truly desire.

Traditional values are also held in high esteem. Family is placed above all else. Every Sunday, I would go to my grandma's house for a family reunion. We would all talk, eat, talk some more and eat even more. Everyone in the family knows exactly what's going on in each other's lives. There are no such thing as nursing homes because the elderly are respected and considered a valuable part of the family. Traditional roles are kept also in relationships since boys still open doors and pull out chairs for girls. I feel like these conventional roles are important since they seem to value the respect between people that seems to be slowly depreciating every day.

Leaving the Dominican Republic was the hardest experience in my life. I left everything I knew and everything I loved. My first year in the United States was really tough. I no longer had a family to visit on Sundays, or friends to laugh with. I went into a deep state of depression. I cried myself to sleep every night and became extremely reserved. After a year in this condition, I finally realized that it was time to move forward and simply accept the circumstances. I decided to gather up the power within me to make new friends and truly immerse myself into my new surroundings. I came to realize that I absolutely loved Florida - the diversity, the myriad of activities, the friendly people and all of the academic opportunities.

Living in the Dominican Republic is the most meaningful experience of my life because it has shaped the person I am. Even though I now live in the United States, I take the lessons I learned to heart. My school life taught me determination and traditional roles taught me respect for others. I feel that in order to succeed, a person needs these qualities - because together - they are a recipe for strength. My strength helped me go through my anxiety of leaving the place I had called home for so long and taught me about the inevitability of change. Going to college is a huge alteration in life, and with strength, I know I will be able to reach all of my goals.

Undergraduate / FSU Essay - "Going to FSU will only make me stronger" [5]

For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University."

I am a true believer in the power of "Vires, Artes and Mores". Strength in more than one dimension is needed to be successful. Seeing the beauty in life and contributing to it's aesthetic features makes it that much more enjoyable. Being able to identify yourself with personal customs, traditions defines your character, making you an asset to society. I feel I have these three qualities and have developed them throughout my life.

I display "Vires" in my everyday life. Although I may not be the most physically strong person, I definitely have intellectual strength. I have spent my whole life trying to be as intelligent as I can be. I have always been a good student and have challenged myself by taking the hardest classes and studying for endless hours.

"Artes" has dominated most of my life. I love art and anything relating to it. I still remember my first solo concert back in first grade. It was the first time I realized music was my passion, and it has never stopped being so. I sang in every school play and joined my high school chorus. Every time I sing, I get a rush like no other. It is my therapy. I believe being able to share my talent with the world to contribute to it's the beauty.

My whole identity is defined by "Mores". Coming from Hispanic culture, I have customs and traditions that are diverse from any other. I had the opportunity to get a first hand experience in my culture by spending most of my life in the Dominican Republic. There, I ate rice and beans everyday, went to my grandma's house every Sunday after church, burnt incense to purify our home and ran away from "The Diablos Conjuelos" on independence day. Even though I now live in Florida, I still carry my Hispanic culture to heart and it will always be a part of who I am.

Going to FSU will only make me stronger, more artistic and build my character. I will continue to push myself academically to make sure my intelligence will endure. I will always carry my love for music by attending concerts or even being a part of the choir. I will continue to keep my Hispanic culture alive by keeping traditional roles and celebrating important holidays. I will live the philosophy, as I presently do.

Undergraduate / UF app essay two, I decided to write a completely different essay [6]

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

My mom and I always go to Marshalls. We like the idea of being able to get something typically expensive at a reasonable price. Of course, when I was younger I didn't really notice. I lived in ignorance, which indeed meant bliss. But as I got older, I came to realize that life requires a loss of innocence.

I was about ten years old. My mother and I were on our daily shopping trip. She had been acting strange all day. Her worried look puzzled me. Had I done something wrong? Did I forget to make my bed that morning? Once we got to Marshalls I decided to confront her. We were in the purse section, and I said, "What's wrong?", she looked at me, eyes watered, and said "Oh Kristyn, I'm sick, I have a disease". Those words were like an instant electric shock to my heart. She went on to explain that when I was three, she had been hospitalized and was given only five years to live. She said that her medications are what has kept her alive.

From that moment on, I was no longer a child living in oblivion. I was welcomed into reality. For the first few years, I cried myself to sleep practically every night. It has now become a somewhat repressed experience, just so that I don't breakdown every moment of the day.

I have learned how to keep my strength and not let my agony bring me down. I don't want other people to live everyday in fear of losing the person they love the most. I want to make a difference and be a asset in the health field.

To reach my goals, I know that doing well in school is an utmost priority. That's why I've spent my years in school excelling in all my classes and challenging myself with the hardest. I've also volunteered at the local hospital and at the Red Cross just to become more exposed to the medical field. As president of the Interact club at my school, my main priority is to focus on helping people in the community by cleaning up beaches and visiting Alzheimer patients at a nursing home. I enforce my goal by being part of the Peer Mentoring program at my school to help anyone else with a problem.

Losing a parent is probably one of the hardest thing a child would ever have to endure. I am lucky enough to still have my mom alive and hopefully I will be able to be part in finding her a cure.

Since UF is the number one school in Florida, it is only natural that I would want to pursue my dream of studying there. The opportunity to go to your school would only push me to study harder and keep my academic integrity. Along with that, I would continue to focus on community service, as it has been truly rewarding to see that I have helped another person.