Undergraduate / Stanford Roommate essay help ("living on campus") [6]

Hey there
This is my rough draft for my first essay for Stanford
Dont be to easy, this isnt my field of expertise
I only write history essays =P

I need help with the ending and i wasnt sure what i should write about so i choose my love of Germany, i can cook, and that I am not clean.

I have other personality traits but i didnt know what to include
I also
Love Metallica (actually listening to it right now)
love history
play guitar
do track and field
am intellectually engaging
am a Christian
play LOTS of video games
i talk alot about politics, not so much the US but government philosophy (karl marx, V.I. Lenin, ect...)
I love guns and airsofting(i didnt add this cuz it might offend or get the wrong impression about me)

So heres the prompt and essay

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate-- and us -- know you better.

Although my name is John, you will most likely call me either "Fouts" (My last name) or "German". Now you probably are thinking "okay Fouts is his last name, but German? Why that?!" and the reason is I'm take a huge interest in my German heritage. History, Culture, Food, politics, language, you name it and I'm interested. Along with my German fascination, I'm also quite the engineer. I've been tinkering with things since I can remember, making Lego sets that were meant for 10 year olds at 6, fixing a DVD player that my dad didn't even know how to fix, taking apart and putting back together a computer, and making fully functional robots out of Knex pieces. I don't use Knex or make Lego sets anymore, but I still love to fix everything that's broken and find some use for it, weather it be that broken DVD player or my old guitar. Certainly being an engineer you think I would find a way to make my room as organized as possible, but there, my friend, you would be deadly wrong! If you looked at my room now you might be shocked to call me a German with my absolutely horrendous living space. It might look like a pile of junk and an un-Prussian disorganized mess, but it is actually a clever disguise as a compact and effective filing cabinet that I could easily find anything in it, but what I'm looking for now is a great roommate that I will enjoy to spend time and have fun with over then next four years as we room together at Stanford.

Undergraduate / 'Both education and Track and Field' - Stanford a good place for you? [14]

Alright heres the essay, not much intro needed, but it is a bit long so i did have to cut it down, so as some great engineer said

A designer knows he has achieved perfection, not when there is something left to add, but when there is nothing to take away...

aka dont try to add stuff, lets try to get rid of the crap first =P

anyway promt and essay!

What makes Stanford a good place for you?

Henry J. Kaiser once said "Taste the relish to be found in competition ï in having put forth the best within you", and what better place to get the best competition possible, than Stanford. Stanford has some of the most intelligent people in the nation attending there school, which creates enormous competition for everyone, and therefore makes people produce far better results than if they had no competition at all. If there is one thing I want from a school, I want them to push me to achieve more than what I could normally do on my own, and I think Stanford is the perfect place for that. Stanford will push me to take the risks i need to be successful. Being pushed to achieve more doesn't just benefit me; it creates a chain-reaction to society and the community to follow my example to achieve more as well.

Not only does Stanford give me the push I'm looking for in my education, I will also get that push on the Track and Field as well. Stanford has one of the best Track and field programs on the West coast and I know that I could benefit from there great program and give that gift back to the school. Stanford's coaches can push me to the limit and get me to the goals that I want and there is nothing more that I really want than to score points in the PAC-10 Conference for Stanford.

Running down the last 100 meters of the 400 m run, sweat flying everywhere, the grunts of pain exploding from your legs; these are the images I see before my race, I visualize my self in the lead just to give me the mental push I need to win the race. My new race isn't a 400 meter run, now its Stanford. I can visualize myself at Stanford, seeing not only what Stanford can do for me, but what great things I can do for Stanford.

Undergraduate / "the League of Nations after World War 1" -Stanford Intellectual Vitality essay [7]

Last Stanford essay!!
it only has 12 characters left so i cant add much
i think this is what it should be about, let me know what you think!
thanks in advance =]

oh and PS i dont have spell check on my computer so correct my misspelling please!

Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

The quote "With great power comes great responsibility" by Stan Lee rang through my head as my AP US History teacher called me and 4 other students to be that weeks moderator for our socratic seminar. Being the moderator is usually the dread of students as you almost have to write shorthand to get everything you need to write down written. This week on the otherhand was different, instead of being responsible for the summary of the seminar I became responsible for a entire nation and with that, the fate of the world in my hands and a experience that was one of the most intellectually engaging moments of my life.

As the moderator I became a member of the League of Nations after World War 1 and helped determine what was to happen to Europe. The class was divided into 4 different sides, the Realist, the Wilson Idealists, the Isolationists, and the European Imperialists each trying to convince the 5 League of nations members to follow there own political philosophy, and if they did, there reward would be a free homework pass. Biasness, lies, contempt, and rivalries emerged from each nation, each being selfish and wanted only what was better for themselves rather than the world. As the seminar unraveled in that short hour, I learned more about how leaders have to unravel peoples own personal agendas and make critical decisions off that information than any textbook or TV show could ever show. The inner mechanisms of politics and my ignorance to how the world works revealed themselves, making me realize the amount of work leaders put in to deal with domestic as well as international problems. Certainly this seminar was supposed to teach me something about the League of nations or something like that, but in fact turned out to be a much more rewarding experience.

Undergraduate / "The Luger" - Stanford Common Application essay! [10]

Hey so this is my first shot at my common application essay, if this one doesnt sound like it would work than i can write another

Im not the best writer so this probably has MANY errors
I think i might of changed tenses a couple times, so catch the past tense if you can!
if you dont follow the essay i shot a luger for the first time and i thought it looked beautiful, and helped me deciede that i wanted to be military engineer. if you dont know how a luger shoots and cant follow my description, look up a video of it on youtube

anyway Enjoy!

The Luger

My hands stroke the smooth metallic clip, and I take a strong whiff of the sweet smell of steal. I insert each 9mm bullet into the magazine. One by one I merged the Copper, lead, and steal into one. The magazine slides and begins to slip from my sweaty palms, I quickly tighten my grip, for I would not abandon the clip. Overfilled with excitement I load the last of the copper rounds into the lustrous clip and set it gently to the side. I turn around to my grandfather, he looked at me softly and pulled it from his leather bag, the marvelous German P08 Luger. This decrepit gun dated back to the death filled days of 1941, the date stamped on the top of the gun was a constant reminder what it had gone through. The German Eagle is still inscribed onto the side, seemingly glaring at me with a cynical stare. The rough wooden grip grasped to my skin like a spider grasps to a wall. The pearly smooth stamped steal was beautiful, it was a marvel of engineering. Such a marvel, when held it lost its feel as a gun, but became a extension of the arm, one with its master.

I grazed the gun with amazement, I have never saw anything so beautiful in my life. I grab the magazine from the table in front of me, and insert it into the Luger. A satisfying click echos thought the room, letting all know the Luger is locked, loaded, and open for business.

I pull the Hammer back until it catches the copper butt plate of the bullet, I let go and let the Luger do the rest. The Breach springs forward pushing the bullet into the breaching chamber, the edges of the lead perfectly fixed into the the rifled bore that smelled of fresh oil. I lifted the Luger effortlessly and the sleek steel masterpiece became one with me. My hands sweated as I became afluttered, and I gently squeezed the trigger. Finally the trigger released the hammer, sending the mass of steal towards the bullets primer cap. The pin in the hammer hitting the cap sends a jet of heat towards the chamber of the gunpowder, combusting, then expanding and sending the mass of lead screaming forward. The sound of the releasing gasses and lead ruptures the sound of the eerie silence in the room. The remaining gas sent the breach back like a piston in a car, the joint in the middle jumping up so that the hammer can catch its next 9mm victim. The remains of its last victim fly in the air, a whisk of smoke drifts from the innards of the bullet. As the gases expire, the breach comes back, putting the new 9mm bullet into the rifled breach with perfect repetition.

I was shocked, paralyzed by the sheer power and artistic beauty. To me this was more than a hunk of metal, this was the Mona Lisa of engineering, the David to Michelangelo, the Scream to Edvard Munch, Starry Night to Van Gogh, a artistic masterpiece. I wanted to see it again, so I pulled the trigger, again and again, the Luger satisfying its hunger for its copper morsels, and I for my hunger of its artistic beauty. The steaming copper back-plates flew around the room, with the breach kicking like a horse with every shot. Finally it stopped, the breach had gone all the way back, silently telling me that the Luger's belly was empty. Smoke drifted from the chamber, lifting off into the abyss.

Most people decide there major after years of pondering, determining what they want to do for the rest of there life, Me on the other hand, knew what I wanted to do from that moment on, I wanted to be a weapon designer. I didn't think the Luger or any other gun as a killing machine, I knew its power and potential, but I didn't think of the Luger as just a object for killing, I wasn't interested in that. I experienced the Luger myself and saw what a masterfully created piece of engineering it was, a beautiful work of art, and I wanted to be its artist.