Undergraduate / Storytelling and Media Class - COLLEGE ESSAY [7]

Does anyone have some constructive criticism for this essay?

Describe when and how you became interested in art, design, writing, architecture, or the particular major to which you are applying. Describe how this interest has manifested itself in your daily life. The essay should be 250-500 words or two pages maximum.

My entire life was always consumed by story telling. Growing up, my grandmother and grandfather from Panama would present me with multiple books every time I visited them, and in some instances, my grandmother would even write books herself that were about me. My grandmother has been an enormous influential figure to me when it comes to writing because she is a famous journalist and author in Panama. When I was young, I did not realize that my true passion for writing and coming up with stories rose from spending so much time with her. Without realizing, I would imagine complicated and intricate stories about every thing around me, and before I knew it I began writing down all those crazy stories down on paper. In elementary school I dabbled a bit with writing, and it was not until I was in middle school that I began taking writing as a serious hobby. I joined a writing website where it allowed young writers to write and publish their stories online for other users to read. I immediately became invested in the website and would write on it every day after school. I consider Middle School as my 'prime time' for when it came to writing because my whole life during those years revolved around planning and writing books. In 8th grade I won a writing contest for my short story about a Nazi officer falling in love with a Jewish woman, and upon gaining that type of recognition I realized I had the potential to start writing stories for a living. Entering high school changed that idea for me. I no longer had the time to write stories like I used to, and I was getting a tougher case of 'writers block' every day. I thought all hope was lost for me when it came to being the story teller I once was until for a class project I had to create a music video about an American event. Once I began editing the video and realizing how stupendous the video came out once I finished editing it, I gained immense pride knowing that this video was created by my idea, by my rules, and by my editing. For the next few years, I would plan multiple music videos and short films that would involve my friends, just because I wanted to. This year, my last year in high school, I was enrolled in my schools Media Class, where we learn all about the filming industry, and I realized that even though I do not write as extensively as before, I can incorporate my writing skills into my filming skills, ultimately creating a story, no matter whether it is on paper or on film. Nowadays I spend my time creating multiple storyboards for upcoming projects in my film class, watching as many movies as I can to intensely analyze them, and daydreaming about the possibilities of gaining the opportunity to project my stories onto film one day.

Undergraduate / STORYTELLING COLLEGE ESSAY - academic programs focused on communication and the arts [2]

I was wondering if anyone had some constructive criticism for two of my college essays below

As you know, the academic programs at (insert college here) are focused on communication and the arts. Please tell us what influenced you to select your major. If you're undecided about your major, what attracted you to (insert college here) programs? Please be brief (100-200 words)

My grandma has a nickname for me that she always calls me when she hears that I am writing another story; her nickname for me is,"The storyteller of the family," and I can hear the immense pride in her voice whenever she calls me that. Ever since I could remember, my life has been immersed with literature and journalism since my family are avid readers and my grandmas side of the family are famous journalists in Panama. I always concluded that I was going to be a writer when I grew up as a little girl, since I would constantly spend my time either reading books, writing books, or planning my next book. As I became older and had less time to write, I focused on journalism as I became more aware of global events and issues. Upon making a music video for a project in school, I became even more interested in film, something in which I could both incorporate my creative writing and journalism skills to create a short movie or documentary. Between my families influence on me of the arts and my personal passion for film, I have decided to major in visual and media arts.

Much of the work that students do at (insert college here) is a form of storytelling. If you were to write the story of your life until now, what would you title it and why? Please be brief (100-200 words)

The story of my life would be appropriately titled,"Expert Vagabond." A vagabond is a person who wanders from place to place without a home, and I have been traveling to various parts of the world since I was one year old. My family has given me multiple opportunities to travel and I could never explain in detail the gratitude I have for them. My passion for traveling rose when I began learning more about the history and cultures of other countries all around the world through books, movies, and school. While I love the US, I can never imagine living here my entire life, and I hope to live in at least every continent throughout my life. One of my goals in life is to never stop exploring, to never stop journeying, because in my personal opinion there is just so much this world has to offer to experience that you would be crazy to not try to encounter a chunk of every country in this world. Unlike a vagabond, while I do have a home, my objective is to see the world from someone else's perspective and so far I have accomplished that by traveling to various countries.

Undergraduate / FAMILY HISTORY ESSAY - very wise and ambitious grandmother [3]

With this college essay, I need help identifying if it is an interesting enough topic and if I am clear in projecting my message to my reader. It's also a 250 word max essay but I'm currently at 318. Any help will be MUCH appreciated!!

How does your family's history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?

Many little girls often look up to their grandmothers, maybe because they love the way she bakes cookies or simply appreciate the way their grandmothers hold them in their arms. However, my grandmother is special to me because she inspired me to be bold enough to pursue my goals, despite the challenges I would face as a Hispanic woman; women in general are at a disadvantage when it comes to being viewed as equally successful as their male counterparts, although it is more difficult for Hispanic women.

My grandmother aware of this plight when she began to express her passion for journalism at an early age. At that time in Panama, there were only a few female journalists, the majority were men. My grandmother had to endure interminable taunting and rejections from professional journalists, simply because she was a woman. She told me once that she would never pay attention to the unwarranted negative opinions of other people because she was wholeheartedly preoccupied transforming her dreams into reality.

Because of her infinite determination, my grandmother diligently worked her way to becoming the first news anchorwoman in Panama's history. Today, it is unarguably a hard task for a woman to be recognized in the media industry, so with that in mind, it must have been nearly impossible when my grandmother was my age. Thankfully, my grandmother did not let anything, or anyone, falter her determination.

Like many grandmothers, mine is very wise and her ambition radiates every time she gives me advice, especially in regards to pursuing my dreams. She has always supported my decision in pursuing a career in film and writing. Therefore, I am so grateful to have a figure like her in my life, to remind me that anything is possible as long as I am willing to work hard enough to achieve it.

Undergraduate / a 'renaissance woman' - QUALITIES ABOUT MYSELF [2]

I have never written an essay to explain my qualities and I have read all over the internet that you have to 'brag' about yourself but not to an extent, but the thing is I do not know what is too much. I wrote two different essays, each portraying different qualities about myself. I need to know which one is a better response for the essay question. They're also both a little over the max. word count

What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the --- community?

My father often calls me a 'renaissance woman,' a term used to describe a person who possesses a profound knowledge in several fields, rather than an unfocused and broad interest in a few subjects. Through participating in various activities such as soccer, student government, and book clubs, I have come to appreciate many diverse interests that help me shape myself into a cultivated woman.

Because of this, I now acknowledge the allure of belly dancing, the strength that exists within mixed martial arts, the perseverance resulting from swimming, the patience derived from learning painting techniques, the ability to work to get what I want out of a ballet performance, along with other numerous skills. I enjoy developing new abilities, which is why I take pleasure in meeting new people because I feel as though I can continue to learn more skills from anyone who has to offer them.

For instance, I recently met a girl on a beach in Panama who had a passion for surfing, something I have always dreamed of knowing how to do. I expressed my interest to her and she gladly agreed to teach me how to surf the following day, and now because of her I have a profound respect for the focused and consistent ability surfers have to possess in order to catch a wave.

The idea of attending UCF excites me because it contains such a diverse campus that will permit me to radiate my appreciation and curiosity for new skills that will allow more students to become engaged with various aspects that UCF has to offer.

An individual's ambition is an extremely particular choice. Every individual has the possibility to realize extraordinary things, and what is generally vital is that they put their heart and mind into the enterprise. Growing up, most kids did not know immediately what they wanted to do with their life, but I did; I always knew I was to be a storyteller when I grew up.

At first I thought it would be my dream to do something like that as a job, but as I became older I realized it was my goal to excel as a writer or filmmaker. As I started to learn more about the film industry, I began to realize that there are not many movies directed by Hispanic women, so I have made it my ultimate aim to someday become a recognized Hispanic female director, not only for myself but for other Hispanic women who dream of excelling in the film industry.

I have had the chance to gain some firsthand experience in the film profession when I volunteered for the Fort Lauderdale Film Festival. I was exposed to directors who have the same drive as I do, and saw fascinating pieces of art on the big screen that left me in awe of the abilities film can possess. I was able to meet extraordinary women directors who inspired me to never abandon my dream to be involved in the film industry.

I plan to live with intention, to continue to learn, to do what I love, and in the process inspire my peers around me to do the same.

Writing Feedback / Trying to get into my dream school - essay on importance of having clean water [3]

This is an essay for a scholarship - write a 600-800 word essay: Write about the importance of having clean water. What are the benefits of clean water and what is life like without clean water. Name a water charity that you admire and explain what the charity is, the work they are doing and why you think this is an important water charity

Imagine a morning where before you have to go to school or to work, you reach for a cup and head to the water dispenser in your refrigerator to have a sip of water. As you look into your cup, instead of seeing clear water, you stare at a brown, murky liquid that is supposed to be safe for you to drink. You dump out the foul, unknown liquid into the sink and quickly open the faucet in order to drink clean water, only to have your cup filled with yet again polluted water. In your situation you could either contact your city hall and demand questions as to why the water is contaminated or head to the nearest convenience store and buy bottled water. Unfortunately, for 663 million people, those options are nearly impossible, and they have to live with those kinds of conditions for years, maybe even their entire lives. Every single day, there are hundreds of children who would rather dehydrate than drink the contaminated water they have access to. Farms and livestocks are deteriorating in various developing countries due to the lack of fresh water. Women, in order to provide for their families, travel extensive distances to collect clean water on a daily basis. In the United States, when people get sick from contaminated water, it triggers a national crisis. In some countries, it is just another ordinary day.

My grandmother, a renowned journalist from Panama, exposed me to the affairs and issues of the world constantly. My grandmother was extremely passionate in her beliefs, and the matter of access to clean water is something that enraged her. My grandmother claimed that access to clean water is a human right, and it is hard to disagree with her. Water is not expendable, it is a necessity for humans to live and remain healthy throughout their lives. She thought that the idea of obtaining clean water as a privilege is inhuman.

As a journalist, she used to write about this topic several times while at the same time intensely reprimanding countries and leaders who do not make it a priority to assist people who are in need of clean water. My grandmother always thought that it was incomprehensible that today there are more people with a phone than access to clean water. She also claimed that in the future, with populations growing, wars will no longer be focused on oil but rather on clean water. Growing up, I lived by my grandmothers words, and everything my grandmother talked to me about influenced my way of thinking. The reason why is because nearly everything she said is right, especially when it comes to the issue of clean water.

Every year, 840,000 people die because they do not have clean, reliable drinking water. Nearly 80% of all illnesses in developing countries can be traced back to the lack of clean water. Some 1.8 million people die every year of diarrheal diseases like cholera. Tens of millions of others are seriously sickened by a host of water-related ailments-many of which are easily preventable.100 years ago, this was the same situation that developed in cities such as Paris, London, and New York were facing. Child death rates were as high then as they are now in much of Sub-Saharan Africa. It was sweeping reforms in water and sanitation that enabled progress. The importance of clean water is so significant, that it is reported that clean water can reduce sickness by almost a third. By decreasing illness, children who miss school because of various diseases that arise from contaminated water can go back to obtain an education. Economic opportunities that were once lost for adults are regained as they have the ability to work without being prevented by the illnesses brought on by polluted water. By simply implementing better water reforms and programs, charities can ensure potable water for people in developing countries.

A current charity who is trying to make that a reality is 'Water Is Life', a charity I admire for its technological advances in retrieving clean drinking water for people. 'Water Is Life's' mission is to provide clean water, sanitation, and hygiene programs to developing countries. In order to achieve this, the charity created a temporary, life-saving water filtration straw that is given those who are in immediate need of clean water and a book filled with papers that have the ability to filter dangerous bacteria in contaminated water. These types of devices can revolutionize water purification and make it possible for developing countries finally be able to obtain the clean drinking water they desperately need. With these tools and fundraising opportunities for the public, 'Water Is Life' is transforming the way that contaminated water becomes a thing of the past.

Scholarship / Assist a girl out, trying to get into dream school [2]

This is for a scholarship I really want/need - How will a $3,000 scholarship for education make a difference in your life?" The student's written response must be written in English, with correct spelling and grammar, and it must not exceed 250 words

By the way, past winners have won because they wrote in a narrative, which is what I'm trying to do. I had trouble formatting the essay so please help me with that aspect as well! Thanks!!

"And the Oscar nominees for best director are...." a man, a man, another man, and a man. Where are the women? Where are the women who dedicate their lives to creating works of art for everyone to enjoy? Where are the women with enormous ideas for screenplay, cinematography, acting, and editing involved in a film? Or the women whose dreams are to accept prestigious awards due to their hard work and dedication for filmmaking? Oh right, they are not being recognized.

Now who am I supposed to look up to? As I prepare my filming equipment, gather my props and storyboards, and recruit my actors for a new film, who do I aspire to be like? The ultimate goal is to be acknowledged as a female director in the film industry, and to hopefully become the woman girls can look up to. I am passionate in filmmaking and want to pursue a career where I will be able to turn the stories swirling through my head into reality.

Although I am very committed to undertaking professional trainings to fulfill my goal to become a renowned female movie director, the expensive cost of the tuition of film schools is holding me back from doing that. I wonder how many women are also held back every year from pursuing their dreams and changing the norm of the film industry? I wonder how many women have the ability to become renowned film directors, but cannot because they do not have $3,000.

Scholarship / INSPIRATION FOR MY MAJOR SCHOLARSHIP - FILM [2]

What inspired you to choose your major? How do you plan to use your degree to impact the greater community?

I have always wanted to get involved in directing a movie and learning how to edit video and sound, so I decided that visual arts would put me on the right career path. Since I was a little girl, I was constantly filming, whether it was with my friends who volunteered to star in my movies or my surroundings whenever I traveled to new places. For me, majoring in visual arts is a no-brainer because it is a career that not only makes me happy and also allows me to constantly meet new people who can have completely different ideas from me but share the same kind of passion that I have. That to me is the best thing anyone can obtain from their career. Choosing to be in visual arts has always been the right decision in my mind from day one. I have always felt comfortable writing scripts, positioning cameras, directing scenes, and stepping into editing rooms to edit for hours at a time.

When I view films that utilize stunning cinematography, astounding special effects, enthralling dialogue, and a captivating plot, it inspires me to try and achieve the same while adding my personal touch to it. Films to me are fascinating because filmmakers have the power to either create a film that can make people forget about their lives entirely and enter a new dimension or a film that can open people's eyes and make them understand better the world they are currently living in. Films and documentaries become iconic throughout the years because they have so much power to influence people, and to be the mastermind behind such classics and be able to captivate people all around the world exceeds my wildest dreams. That is why majoring in visual arts is so important to me; with my degree, I would be able to use my films to bring awareness to issues that need to be brought into the light.

A lot of people forget that while films are made to tell stories, filmmakers often create films based on true stories that can help educate people on politics, social issues, health, crime, money, and history. These types of films are so important because they have the potential of changing the way people think about certain issues entirely, and I hope to do that one day by creating films that create a better understanding of what is happening in the world today.

Currently, this world is facing drug abuse, refugee problems, political and social instability, war and terrorism, unequal distribution of financial resources, and much more. With my degree, I will have the ability to write, shoot, and edit films that touch on subjects such as the ones listed, and hopefully it will result in audiences learning something new that will change their way of thinking. Films are definitely a way of escaping, but what makes them so amazing and important is you learn numerous new things from them as well

Undergraduate / CHANGE AMERICA SCHOLARSHIP - FILM and Television major [3]

The prompt for this scholarship is -

how do you intend to change America with your major?

I've been trying to explain my train of thoughts but I don't know if what I've written does it justice. Also, the limit is 200 words and I currently have 233 words written.

As a Film and Television major, I plan on using my degree to create films and documentaries highlighting various events and difficulties America is facing. We are currently living in the age of social media and rapid access to news, but there are still so many in this country that are not aware of the numerous hardships that are occurring right now.

I have always been interested in journalism, but I never saw myself as a journalist. I was always behind the camera, never in front of it. I intend on gathering a team someday who will follow me all throughout the country to record and document an assortment of matters such as drugs, the education system, corruption, and much more. It saddens me how issues like the ones listed are usually well known, but not a lot of people have the time to research further into them. I aim to make that my job, to spend countless of hours researching and filming certain subjects to make sure this information is readily available to everyone at any time.

I truly feel that film is a powerful visual art that has the ability to completely alter the way people view the world around them and if I can manage to influence a single person to stand up and make a difference after viewing a film or documentary of mine, then I will be happy.