Undergraduate / Spitting as a way of sending message to "The Thing" - UC #2 personal statement [2]

Here's my UC #2 personal statement. I need some corrections and suggestions for me. Thank you for proofreading my essay.

Frankly, I spit into a river daily. Every time I cross a bridge on the way to my apartment, I just spit my saliva into the river beneath it. I am superstitious, that saliva is my pinpoint marking the terminal of an out-door day and the beginning of a fresh one. The message that comes with it is "I am alive and well". I think about how fortunate I am to be part of humanity and what a radiant future is waiting for me. "I am fortunate and young, now."

All of this began when our family moved a new flat, which is fairly far from the closest bus stop. Every morning and evening, heading to the bus stop, I walk over the bridge to go to school and vice versa. Some days after staring this route, I found that I habitually spit and spitting into that river means something special to me. When I spat, I felt secure and relieved because I believed that I am sending a message to "The Thing" which I believe exists with the river as a transporter. It is such a rather long bridge that in the beginning, I had been spitting three times per crossing. But, I reduced this to once a cross because it felt un-environmental. Eventually, it became a habit for me.

Over a year after starting doing that "message-sending", gullible and young, I had come across a beautiful young woman whom I believed would be the love of my life. One fine day when she was coming to my home with me, I told her about this behavior that it is the way I communicate with "The Thing" himself. Merrily, she mimicked me and spat into the river. It was one of the happiest moments of my life and I recall that moment vividly. Seeing how lovely she is, I was a fortunate man.

Time flew when I was with her. Importantly, I recognized something significant was hiding behind her. That was our future. I am a father in that future. The future with three little kids playing hide & seek with daddy and mamma calling them for the dinner. The future with the family going on a picnic on a gentle Saturday evening watching the sun set over the lake. These simple but powerful thoughts encouraged me to start preparing for the family that I will build in the future. Driven and motivated, I began to use my time as productive as I can to become better because I will become a father who will protect my children, model what a good man is like, let them pursue what they want and, importantly, dedicate everything I have to them. I was spitting with a wide smile these days.

Sadly, "everything has its end" didn't go around our relationship (?). Initially I was morose and solitary, but it finally dawned on me that the end was a good thing because it is a sign of something else is about to begin. I remembered that I had learned things from the relationship. These were the realizations of "What is the chief goal of my life?" and "Whom I should love the most?". Although only as we grow into adulthood do we know what it is actually like to be a parent in a broader context, now I can promise I won't leave my family behind. That's the family I will build with my hands and I will love them even I don't know their names at present. Perhaps I have only seen the tip of the iceberg, the relationship just for eleven months taught me life lessons about responsibility and what it means to be a man with a family. I will become "Daddy" whether "Mommy" is her or not. I spat three times that day.

In the end, that was the experience I would remember and think for the rest of my life, I assume. Every time I spit into that river, I simply remember to step forward and do something for my future family. It's really useful to have that kind of motivator on my way (to and from) home.

Undergraduate / My ambition to become a storyteller. [2]

Hey there! Thank you for reading my statement. Here's why I chose to become a filmmaker. Every help is appreciated.
I Am a Dreamer
Every day I take the bus home from school. I peek through the frosted window of the crowded bus to see what is going on "out there". One day while I was passing a local cinema, where I watch most movies, I looked at the four posters that were hanging outside of the theater for promotion. I observed them for a while and I noticed something significant which I had never recognized before. Four people with four ambitions. One tries to overthrow the monarchy, one struggles to survive, one learns the power of confronting his fears and another one seeks and fails to win the attention of the little red-haired girl. From then on, I have believed that this is what films are made for. The desires of the characters on screen lend me desire in life.

A great film seizes the viewer's mind and makes one think about it over and over again long after he or she has left the theater. If I want to determine whether a movie was a success or failure, I simply count how many times I have recalled it in my mind. The bigger the film impacts it, the deeper my brain likes to think about it. The cultural blending of filmmakers and viewers means that the world of cinema is more diverse and globalized than ever before. It is true that the number of foreigners on the stage of the Oscars is gradually increasing. It seems like cultures are blending every day. As a Mongolian child who grew up watching incredible adventures like "Lord of the Rings" and the "Dragon Ball-Z" series, I grew up with American films as well as Asian ones. Living in the heart of Eurasia, my knowledge of life is fed up with influences from distinct cultures on two sides: one from Asia where busy people dominate and another one from The West where liberty flourishes. Both these two cultures must have influenced my way of thinking and dreaming because art has the ability to distinctly shape a person.

When it comes to choosing my career, I thought about what is most important to me. I knew that this choice must be made with great deliberation because I will do that work for the rest of my life. Will I enjoy shooting videos? Is it possible to make a living as a film director in my country? Will I regret anything after pursuing a career in film-making? Most importantly, can I still dream? I asked myself all of these questions. Then, I decided to become a storyteller who dreams all day.

Now it's been several years after those inquiries first appeared in my mind, and people respond with sparkling surprise when I tell them I will become a film director. Since no one around me has ever worked in the arts, my dream and I have overcome numerous setbacks from family and friends.

With an excellent education, I picture myself becoming an astonishing film director who creates films which engage the viewer's mind and intellect. With precise execution, my films will tell stories that will make the audience see life in a positive way, and inspire them to follow their dreams.

Undergraduate / Being the Biggest Brother - Personal Statement - My world [3]

Being the Biggest Brother

While I was sitting around the table on the first morning of the New Lunar Year with my whole family, I noticed that people change over time. They get older. Once a young college freshman is now holding her newborn and singing lullaby. A beautiful wife who once carried me on her back is now a pensioner with freckles on her face. Time is going by.

Being the first born of the new generation of family is a momentous thing that rarely happens. Perhaps that's why I pondered about it before my brothers and sisters did. I still think about the very moment I was born and cried for the first time, how a mother and father became grandparents, how a sister and brother became an aunt and an uncle. And, how a young boy and a girl became my parents. When you are born as the first child of the family, it means that everybody gets a new title (father, mother, uncle) and you, brand-new, enjoy everyone's love fully.

But, now I face some obstacles as I enter adulthood. Thinking about how things will change, sometimes I fear what is coming next. What will people think when I leave my parents' house or have a child? No one in my generation has gone through such big events before. Ultimately, I am the one who has to pave the way. After I have overcome these big times in my life, it will be much easier for other youngs in my household to endure. As a big brother, role model, for my younger family members, I can help them make good choices in their own lives by preceding everything they will go through. These thoughts led me to glimpse the future of my family as we gathered around the table that morning of "New Year".

In the end, the most compelling stories exist in the reality around us. How you see, understand and portray the reality is storytelling. That is why I dream to become a storyteller.