Writing Feedback / FEELING UNSAFE AT HOME AND OUT - WRITING IELTS TASK 2 - CAUSES & SOLUTIONS [5]

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes, what are the solutions?

There is a noticeable trend recently that many people have a sense of unsafety and insecurity when they are either at their own home or outside. A number of reasons are blamed for this problem and some measures can be taken to mitigate it.

There are a range of reasons which are responsible for the feeling of unsafety of many individuals. Firstly, terrorism and other violent activities such as bombing and shooting in various religions in the world have never been so overwhelming as they are these days. As a consequence, people will be reluctant to go out, especially to public areas where are usually the targets of terrorists due to the apprehension about their well-being. Secondly, the growing number of domestic violence can also drive people, especially the young and teenagers out of safe places. For example, an unhappy family with parents quarrelling or fighting can leave an adverse effect on children, which leads them to the feeling of uncertainty and insecurity even in their own home. Moreover, with the dominance of shocking news such as terrorists, killing or bomb attacks in the headlines of almost every newspapers and TV programmes, this will draw even more attention of everyone, which results in the misconception that no place is totally safe at all.

However, there are several feasible actions that governments and individuals could take to alleviate the problems mentioned above. To begin with, it is undoubtedly responsibility of governments of all nations in the world to collaborate to track down terrorists. In addition, in order to prevent the likelihood that violent actions may happen, a brick legislation should be introduced. For example, a stronger punishment for killers, shooters will deter other potential criminals from committing the same crimes. Furthermore, in a family level, every member, especially parents and the elderly, should create a cozy and comfortable atmosphere within their home by avoid fighting in front of their children or regularly encouraging them by verbal and physical stimulation. Finally, TV program producers and newspaper publishers should broadcast a more balanced content of every field, not just focusing on an excess of shocking news.

In conclusion, people do not feel safe either at their home or outside for several reasons, and this problem can be addressed with some measures suggested.

Writing Feedback / The growing number of high school leavers choose to obtain their bachelor degree in a foreign school [2]

IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - STUDY OVERSEAS

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Please help me with my essay and advice me a possible score. Thank you so much!
There is a noticeable trend these days that a growing number of high school leavers choose to obtain their bachelor degree in a foreign university instead of in their home country. While this development brings about various benefits, there are also drawbacks that need to be considered.

On the one hand, studying abroad is evidently advantageous for students for several reasons. Firstly, living in a different country is one of the most efficient ways to master many vital life skills. For example, when living abroad, students will have to learn how to cook, manage their bills, take care of themselves when being sick, which will gradually build up the independence. All of these skills may hardly be obtained if students still rely on the support of their parents in daily basis. Secondly, studying overseas can also offer students a great chance to make new friends from various backgrounds and cultures, which will provide them a better understanding and appreciation for other nations' people and history.

Nevertheless, there are a certain number of disadvantages of study abroad. The most obvious one is that students are more likely to feel homesick and lonely, even experience culture shock. As a result, these individuals might find it difficult to concentrate on their studies and adapt in the new place, or even suffer some mental problems, which will lead to poor academic performance at school. Furthermore, living abroad undoubtedly costs a great deal of money, which can result in financial burdens on students' parents and themselves as well. In addition, for those who decide to take part-time job in order to alleviate financial problems can become less engaged in school, which can lower their grades in the end.

In conclusion, although study overseas can offer students numerous advantages over studying domestically, there are also a range of inevitable disadvantages that would be better to be well-prepared ahead.