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Posts by jkl
Name: jkl
Joined: Mar 10, 2017
Last Post: Mar 18, 2017
Threads: 3
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jkl   
Mar 18, 2017
Scholarship / KGSP Future Goals - specialist advisor on technology [2]

Hi this is my essay for the KGSP Graduate Future Goals section. I greatly appreciate advice and comments on how I can improve.

Future Plan After Study



After completing my studies, I plan to work in a Korean organisation specialising in technology. I will take on a corporate development or management support role in a multinational organisation involved in the production and management of technology. I will have been equipped with the best academic knowledge and resources after graduating to combine them with the substantial practical experience I will steadily gain by working in a leading technology-focused firm. In the organisation, I will gain insights on strategic challenges for development of technology and how regulation impacts technology businesses. I hope to be able to manage technological portfolios whilst forming important alliances in the industry. As the technology industry is very strategy driven, taking on a role which allows me to develop strategies for the organisation is the perfect stepping stone to realising my long-term goal of becoming an expert advisor in the field.

After a few years of accumulating corporate experience, my mid-term goal is to qualify as a lawyer in the technology, media and telecommunications (TMT) department of a top international law firm with an office in Korea and expansion plans in the region. As the Korean market matures, there will be opportunities to manage and advise on both inbound and outbound investment or development plans by domestic and overseas organisations alike. As a lawyer, I will be involved in the managing of clients' technology portfolios in the legal and regulatory sphere. This will give me in-depth insights and experience on how technology is impacted by regulation and how challenges can be overcome to promote innovation.

These experiences will be the ideal platform for achieving my ultimate goal which is to return to ******* as lawyer specialising in the field. While I intend to continue working as a lawyer in an international firm in *******, I also intend to join the ********* Fintech Consortium as an advisor to develop a vibrant Fintech scene in *********. With substantial experience on technology regulation, I will advise new ventures and connect start-ups with financial institutions and financial authorities to create an ecosystem where new technologies can be tested and matured in a sustainable manner. The consortium has connections with fintech centres internationally such as the Fintech Centre of Korea. I plan to continue strengthening existing alliances whilst building new ones with growing fintech hubs to share ideas and assist industry players in the region in their outreach plans in ********* and vice versa. I hope to contribute to development plans to ensure that technology and regulation can develop in a secure and steady manner for a creative economy.
jkl   
Mar 18, 2017
Graduate / To be able to handle a business takes time and experience. KGSP - SELF INTRODUCTION [4]

@kimyugyeom

Hi Firstly, your essay needs to have more focus on the prompts of the questions. Try directly answering the prompts in that order. I have other suggestions:

1. Describing your home too much is meaningless if it nothing to do with your view on life etc. The part where you write about your parents and upbringing is too long. You may want to shorten it into a few sentences.

2. Link your experience helping with your parents' business with your desire to do an MBA. What is your MBA for? To help expand your family's business? In that case, how will the MBA help you in that aspect?

3. Your reasons for studying in Korea is weak. Travel is not a good reason. Even if you like the culture, it is better to back it up with something other than Korean dramas. Remember you will have to study Korean and reach a decent level to even start graduate school. Yes Korea has growing academic standards. But this sentence is too vague. It can be applied to high school, middle school even in elementary education...what is it about the universities in Korea which attract you?
jkl   
Mar 11, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS- Bigger Priority - governments should charge on railways instead of roads. [5]

@Paige Hi here are some suggestions you may wish you use.

Personally, I completely agree with this idea. => although the question asks if you agree or disagree, it is generally not a good idea to use the word "personally". It is not advisable to say you "completely agree" as well. You need to show that you have considered the opposing arguments too which I see that you have. In this case, you should definitely not use completely agree. I would change it to something like: I agree with this statement to a great extent for several reasons. Firstly, ...

taking a train as transportation can both reduce congestion and make people healthier. => deal with one point at a time. These are both your arguments so separating them would be clearer.

most people can not live without roads => this is too colloquial. write something like roads are essential to the daily lives of people. This is especially true for those living...

If governments don't fix or build roads anymore => do not use short-hand in essays as they are too informal. Use "do not" instead of "don't".

To take Taiwan as an example => For example in Taiwan, roads are very easily damaged...

In conclusion, it seems to me that the benefits ... => your conclusion should be a short recap and summary of your main arguments. eg. In conclusion, spending on railways decrease congestion and improve health and these benefits greatly outweight...

another point, you have stated a counter argument for spending on roads butyou have not rebutted it. If you agree with railways then you need to show that roads are necessary but not as important as railways.
jkl   
Mar 11, 2017
Scholarship / KGSP Self-Introduction - Striving for a global education in business [3]

Hi this is my self-introduction for the Graduate KGSP. I would greatly appreciate any advice and comments to help me improve. Thank you!

my love for learning new languages



Letter of Self-Introduction

A global education was always important to me both in academics and in my personal development. For example, I was selected to participate in the Ministry of Education Japanese Language Exchange Programme. Understanding the elements of culture was how I learnt to build bridges with people. Thus, one way I challenge myself to strive for international learning is through my love for learning new languages. Apart from being a native speaker in English and Mandarin, I have a JLPT N2 in Japanese and am proficient in French. I took part in numerous Korean cultural events in university such as a seminar on the treasured Korean oral heritage, pansori. I then enrolled in Korean language classes which I am currently still attending. I have built a solid foundation in studying languages from years of passion and experience. As such, I am excited about the valuable opportunity offered by the KGSP to immerse myself in Korean language and culture in my studies and in everyday life.

In the academic area, I chose to study law as it provides rigorous training in critical thinking. I enjoy using knowledge to analyse and solve real-life problems. I had chosen a school with an international focus on law, particularly on Asia which was my interest. In my first-class International Commercial Arbitration dissertation, I researched on the conflict of interests of arbitrators in different jurisdictions from a comparative perspective. Through my research, I could also explore in depth the socio-economic factors behind legal theory influencing these laws. For example, the development of and attitude towards arbitration in Korea. I was interested in studying the measures Korea took with the goal of establishing itself as an important seat of arbitration in Asia. As outbound economic activity increases and the Korean market continues to open to global players, numerous opportunities will arise which are unique to an economy in the process of maturing. Learning more about socioeconomic affairs of Korea spurred on my desire for an international career specialising in Asia with a base in Korea. I am pursuing a business and commerce focused graduate programme precisely because it will allow me to analyse global social, political and economic issues and their impact on the business and trade and subsequently their interaction with the legal market.

I have interned at top law firms in ********* which had honed my legal and commercial knowledge in practice. My work included executing due diligence processes for high-profile, fast-paced M&A transactions. I have also strategized and drafted submissions for complex international arbitration which required not only legal knowledge but detailed research into the business dealings of the parties. These work experiences made me aware of how important it was for lawyers to be business savvy which spurred to pursue graduate study on business and commerce. I maintained a dedication towards refining my commercial knowledge in university. I was appointed team leader for several business competitions. In the ABC Business Challenge, we had to advise on a M&A deal. I not only had to handle the pressure from a tight time-frame, I often had to manage conflicting opinions within my team. My team eventually emerged third place in London. Additionally, I was selected to take part in the XYZ Live Conference where we discussed the future of the global legal industry. One issue was the expansion of international firms into Korea, an area of pivotal growth. During the conference, I had an opportunity to lead a team in a negotiating exercise for a Sales and Purchase Agreement in which we were the only to the successfully conclude a deal. I later participated in the 2016 Korea Future Forum led by eminent speakers such as Dr Bark Tae Ho, former Minister for Trade of Korea. The panel discussed topics of politics and economics such as the impact of trade liberalisation especially on Free Trade Agreements. I became interested in how Korea would continue to support innovation to continue developing its technology sector which was crucial to its success.

Interning at an Intellectual Property (IP) law firm boosted my knowledge of the technology sector and grew my interest in the industry. I had the opportunity to work with Korean lawyers in the firm handling Korean clients which gave me insight on the technology industry in Korea. I gained a comprehensive understanding of how businesses approach IP. During my internship, I handled non-contentious work such as patent prosecution and producing and presenting research on key issues such as on the transfer of trademarks. It was clear to me that IP, in conjunction with the technology industry was a growing and dynamic industry which I was excited about working in. Korea is a front-runner in technology and innovation and a leading nation patents produced every year. Korea's innovation-driven economy is ideal for studying how the technology is developed and supported by a legal and business perspective. Its position as a pivotal point of growth in East Asia offers the unique opportunity to study the industry in the region. Therefore, pursuing my graduate study in Korea is crucial for my future goals as a specialist in technology and East Asia. KGSP is not only an opportunity to be proficient in a language and culture that I am passionate about and will be pertinent to my future career, it is also a chance for me to develop professionally in a most suitable environment.
jkl   
Mar 10, 2017
Scholarship / I developed a strong network with key Ministry of Health and Sanitation authorities. Chevening. [9]

Hi there are some language/grammatical weaknesses in your essay you may wish to consider revising.

1. During my 1 year 6 months period of work as a Laboratory Assistance => this is slightly awkward phrasing. Be simple and straightforward eg. I worked as a Lab Assistant for (duration) at (place). I have developed....

2. including the, Director => remove the comma

3. Laboratory Research Scientist, has => remove the comma

4. Principal Investor for the ,Lassa => remove the comma

5. project titled: 'The outbreak of => remove the colon

6. He oversees our Laboratory; provide leadership => replace the semi-colon with a comma
jkl   
Mar 10, 2017
Scholarship / I intend to be employed in a Korean firm. KGSP Future plans after my studies [4]

Hi Joy. I will include some suggestions as to how you can get started.

Firstly, think about your plans in short term and long term basis. Do you wish to work in Korea right after graduation? Why? What are some organisations which interest you? (Include how you the organisation will help your growth and how you can help the organisation grow) Very importantly, include specific and concrete plans on what you will do in that organisation (which department do you want to join. what proposals do you want to implement etc)
jkl   
Mar 10, 2017
Scholarship / KGSP Graduate Goal of Study and Study Plan - A specialist in technology and East Asia [2]

Hi this is my study plan for the KGSP. I'd appreciate any advice. Thanks in advance.

Some background on my application: I am applying via the Embassy Track so I am not writing for a specific university but rather 3 universities. I am applying for an MBA for 2 universities and International Studies (majoring in International Commerce) for the 3rd university. These courses are course/module based so I figured ONE specific thesis is unsuitable as there will be numerous core/mandatory courses to take (please correct me if my approach is wrong too). I know it may be inadvisable to apply to different courses but from my research, these courses have overlaps and will all be very useful for my future career plans.

Study Plan



The main aim of my study is to develop an in-depth and comprehensive understanding of business, international trade and economy of Korea and how Korea interacts with the rest of Asia on a wider scale. This aim largely comprises of two main areas of focus. Firstly, the support and development of technology in business. Secondly, business and trade in Asia with Korea as a focal hub of pivotal growth.

Regarding my focus on technology and innovation, I plan to study how businesses manage the growth and support of technological development and innovation. With the rise of technological advancements such as Fintech, there is a growing debate as to whether these advancements function as "disruptors" or "enablers". Either way, it is indisputable that traditional models of business are now facing a potential redrawing of the financial and economic landscape. On the theoretical level, I am interested in how emerging technology has impacted business strategies. I will be able to build a solid understanding of established principles of business, international trade and economics through core courses. I will undertake electives such as those on strategic management of technology or case studies of multi-national corporations to complement these established principles. In practice, studying in Korea will provide unique and valuable opportunities to apply acquired knowledge into practice. One way is the opportunity offered by universities to intern with leading organisations in the field. I plan to secure an internship with a Korean company dealing with technology or innovation. Through the internship, I will be able to learn from leaders and experts in the area the practical aspects of managing innovation. I am also eager about the opportunity to familiarize myself with the business culture in Korea and build important bridges with fellow peers and industry players to enrich my learning experience.

Coming from a law background, the interplay between law and business and trade on the national and international level is of great interest to me. One specific area of interest is how policies and regulation impact development of technology which is a niche of Korea. Surveys have shown that regulation concerns play a substantial role in the development of technology be it producing new innovative products or adopting Fintech. One topic of interest is whether government's regulatory role should be aimed at creating innovation itself or just building an ecosystem. On the international level, I am interested in the how agreements between countries facilitate development and deal with regulatory uncertainty. Studying law has equipped me with necessary legal reasoning and legal research skills to meaningfully understand the regulatory environment. Furthermore, I am starting an internship with the ********* Fintech Consortium which fosters collaboration between start-ups, financial institutions and government bodies by providing services such as research and regulation advice. I will combine real-life experience with knowledge to analyse how law and business interact.

Lastly, my focus on Asia makes studying in Korea an indispensable opportunity. As I am especially interested in the trade and business relations of East Asia, I will opt for courses focused on understanding the region in depth such as global business strategy. I am also excited about the opportunity to participate in programs which gives students the opportunity to research and present on keys topics in the region. The universities that I have chosen offer well-structured programs on the region such as China-Korea-Japan field studies and round table discussions. Through these programmes, I will be able work on projects analysing key issues affecting specific industries from a comparative perspective. This entails studying key factors shared in the region for successful strategies or common challenges. Furthermore, through these programmes, I will be able to exchange ideas with future leaders and learn more about the culture and society of different countries in the region. The chance to take part in these programmes is a unique opportunity to prepare myself as a specialist on the region.
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