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Posts by vipy411
Name: vipy
Joined: Sep 25, 2017
Last Post: Oct 15, 2017
Threads: 3
Posts: 3  

From: India
School: Bits

Displayed posts: 6
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Oct 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / ielts task 2 : - People should work a fixed number of hours per week [5]

Thanks for your valuable inputs. I can understand most of your suggestions except one that your wrote " You do not really discuss the reasons you gave",

. Depression, happy social life and dissatisfaction are the reasons and i have explained them as well. What I think concluding statement in para 3 and 4 is missing. is that the problem?

or something else kindly explain " You do not really discuss the reasons you gave",
Oct 2, 2017
Writing Feedback / ielts task 2 : - People should work a fixed number of hours per week [5]

"People should work a fixed number of hours per week and employers should not ask anybody to work more than this"
Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.


Nowadays, employers are pushing workforce to perform beyond their agreed upon time in order to maximize the profits with limited or less expenditure. However, human body researchers recommend executives to not to assign extra work to their worker because it leads to mental health deterioration, poor social life and dissatisfaction.

First of all, long working hours cause depression to any individual. It is well known fact that if a human is focusing on one particular task for longer period of time the he might develop anxiety which would raise his frustration level. As a result he could face high blood pressure or high blood sugar medical problems. Thus, supervisors need to ensure that depending upon the job responsibility everyone should work for particular time duration.

In addition, every person on this planet has fundamental right to live a happy social life. An individual's health is determined by three major factors: finance, social life, and physical strength. While money is one of the important aspects and directly proportional to working hours but to become socially and physically fit one has to spare a significant amount of time for his family, friends, and exercise.

At last but not least, extra working hours sometimes cause dissatisfaction among the staff which could increase attrition rate of organization. For instance, TCS a giant Indian software firm, reported that last year 30% of its skilled personnel left the company because of overloaded assignments. Consequently, it lost many projects as it could not deliver its services on time due to shortage in staff.

In conclusion, organization's HR managers need to analyse although forcing their employees to operate for more time might give short-term benefits, for long term this might be a curse as they could loose their skilled labour.

I would appreciate he someone could score it in terms of ielts band for general ielts exam.
Sep 30, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS: - Some people believe that studying in a college or university is the best place for students [2]

Some people believe that studying in a college or university is the best place for students to prepare their future career. But others think they should leave school as soon as possible to develop their carrier though work experience

Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

the value of education

In today's world knowledge is light and most of the parents consider varsities are the premier source of learning for their children's future profession while others prefer that one should start his job immediately after primary-school education. In my opinion, starting work at early age would definitely give more practical experience; however, higher study at university not only develops good understanding of concepts but also form a network of contacts to get a job.

Theoretical concepts are just building blocks. Practical hands-on skills are the most important attributes against which any professional is judged. Therefore, few people encourage their child to begin his career after school, so that he could get more preference over others on the basis of work experience. Moreover, this would also save significant amount of money that could have been incurred in tuition fees.

Universities are the temple of learning. Their sole objective is to provide in depth knowledge. A user can make best use of a machine or device if he knows detailed capabilities of it. Thus, it is essential to learn theory before jumping into practicals. Furthermore, higher educational institutions assists their students to establish professional network of references to fetch a good job. Therefore, most of the individuals graduated from colleges wok in fortune 500 companies.

In my opinion, pursuing a professional course at university is far more advantageous because it nourishes students with such skills which are very hard to compete. Certainly, a common experienced worker with limited view would never able to stand against it

In conclusion, although work experience carry more weight but without any standard knowledge it is just a number and does not add any value to individual's profession. Hence, parents should always strive to get their children higher education at professional institutes.
Sep 30, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2 - teachers and parents education - which has more value to a child? [6]

being a socialized person, because educational ...
--> comma before because is incorrect. independent clause should be followed by dependent clause, without any comma, to form complex sentence.

Moreover whenever you are asked to discuss both the views then it is better to have following format: -

1. one paragraph for introduction + outline
2. one paragraph for 1st view: - topic sentence + supporting idea and/or example
3. one paragraph for 2nd view: - topic sentence + supporting idea and/or example
4. Your opinion
5. Conclusion
Sep 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / Some believe that children should get education at their home rather than educational institutes [4]

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Home-based education - pros & cons

Nowadays, majority of parents, specially in developing and under developed countries support the idea that children should get education at their home rather than educational institutes where as few believe that schools are indispensable. In my opinion, school plays an important role in students' overall growth. It provides opportunities to acquire knowledge from expert teachers and prepare students to survive in competitive world. However, Home-based education system creates an environment where children could be trained on specific skills only.

Firstly, schools provide a platform where students are able to access best resources for their academic growth. Moreover, availability of subject matter experts assists children to learn advanced skills which could boost their professional efficiency. For example Apollo school, the best school in Delhi, every year invites doctors and engineers from USA to deliver seminar in the field of physics and biotechnology.

Secondly, School-based education system develops competitive capabilities. At the end of the day children have to survive in ruthless world and struggle to get get a job or admission in foremost colleges. Therefore, learning from childhood in schools develops such traits through which children not only could analyze competition but also device strategy to obtain results in their favor.

In contrast, education at home has its own merits. It provides a controlled environment where children could acquire specific skill set without any distraction. Majorly, business families support such system and believe child should learn only business related knowledge, at home and this would save significant amount of money that would incurred in tuition fees.

In conclusion, though Home-based education is cost effective and less distractive, but schools are the vital source of knowledge where children learn to compete and supervision of experts evolve their thinking power.