Scholarship / I have been living my life as a leader in the past 5 years, being an English teacher. CHEVENING [5]

@meemary
Dear,

The first line of your first paragraph can be better, I would say it doesn't sound convincing enough to glue the reader to your work.

The work you do is one of the most important jobs in the world, you need to let the reviewer see it. You are appealing to these children's mind, heart and senses to get them to practice and put in their best, so give it more weight.

I had a hard time figuring out what your problem statement was, was it that you were made in charge of a new school division or the task of getting these kids to perform the play? What does the success of this play mean to the school, parents and you? How did this event change the lives of these little ones?

The influencing part is also not too strong, build it up because I love the work you do.

Scholarship / Chevening scholarship will give me probability to interact with influencers both locally and abroad [5]

@Elazar
Dear,

Your first paragraph is completely not necessary, its a waste of space. You can start your essay by explaining what makes you a leader or even a related quote.

The influencing part of this prompt is totally missing!!! Find it.

The second paragraph about the problem start is lacking some strength. Find a way to make the students ignorance about themselves a big issue which really should draw attention! And it drew yours! Don't leave it so flat and normal.

Leadership and influence essay is best written with more than one example of your acts unless the single example is so strong.

When you write, use figures as they are, no need to interpret in words. In addressing this prompt, there should be: you-problem statement-effect of this problem on the community/society a creative solution-effect and recommendations. Kindly follow these steps I listed. Fix your idea under these headings then all together you will have a great piece.

Scholarship / I would be part of a vast network at Chevening which creates opportunities [4]

@Onyinye123

Dear,

Your first paragraph seems off from the prompt requirements. You talked about the social media, Facebook and others which made it seem like you didn't understand the context you are to answer from.

Your second paragraph has it! What is needed. The referral from an alumni to attend an event. It would be better if you took time to build around your second and third paragraph (the deworming project). Explain extensively how these professional network transformed your projects into a success.

The Fourth paragraph is really not necessary because the reviewer is not ignorant of the benefits of networking.

So if it were up to me, I would suggest you blend a part of your first paragraph with the second paragraph. Then make the rest about your project! Link them all and you will have a great piece.

Scholarship / Strong Networking Skills: What does it really mean? [3]

@njal90s
Dear,

This is more of a Leadership essay than a Networking essay. The networking essay prompt requires you to relate your professional or academic network to goal achievement. The illustrations did not answer the question. The last paragraph on education seems completely off from the rest of the essay. Networking does not mean facebook, twitter etc, in as much as they are networks on their own, this prompt does not refer to them. Your service in OYB and the people you connected with there, how has it helped you achieve a goal and how did you sustain such networks.

Scholarship / Chevening Essay - Networking in Startups [3]

@ariesfathullah
Dear,

The first paragraph seems like its addressing the Leadership and influence prompt and perhaps you drifted a bit from what was expected of you. The prompt expects you to translate your professional or academic network to goal achievement.

Also in the second paragraph, the example does not still answer the question on networking. See an example: Working with BBB created an opportunity for me to connect with A, B, C who later facilitated one of my organization's project in CCC. Working in AAA created an opportunity to meet and engage the Japanese CEO on future projects to ensure sustainability of game development in schools through which we have employed outstanding young school leaver.

The third paragraph has a bit of what is really expected from you, kindly expand it to show the relationship between your professional network and goal achievement.

Scholarship / Chevening Essay, study in UK plan; I aspire to work as a lecturer of human rights lawyer [4]

@heratjalali
Dear,

Reading through your essay I couldn't understand what influenced your choice of the various universities you picked out. It could be their model of teaching your preferred course, the outstanding performance of their alumni in your field and so on it sure would be nice if you can find any. Take notice of this repetition because I think its a waste of space "As said before, I work with one of the most popular international humanitarian organizations (NRC)", as this has already been stated earlier, no need to repeat it.

Your choice of university, the order of preference and course should be on different paragraphs and as clear as possible. Explain why you choose the university and the course and carefully relate all these to your past professional experience.

Scholarship / Chevening Career Plan Essay - to continue working in the Oil & Gas industry in my country [4]

@Mariap88
Dear,

Reading through your essay I noticed the absence of "Timeline" which is a rudiment in addressing this prompt. Career plans should include; Short-term plans, intermediate plans and long-term plans, this shows they are timebound. There are a lot of emerging innovation in your field ranging from clean energy to hybrid transportation and electrification, and you have done well by capturing a few of them which is commendable. Getting a Project Manager role in the upcoming expansion seems to be your short-term plan after your return, when you get this position what next?

For example, in the 6th paragraph, you wrote "As the years pass, and not only my country but also the whole world changes their energy matrix for a cleaner one, I plan to migrate my expertise into the field of renewable energy. Eventually, I see myself working to boost alternative energy projects and reach my country sights on 20 percent renewables by 2025" I know there could be a better way to present this to pass the same message, see an example....(In the long term, I aspire to acquire more knowledge in the field of renewable energy, as the world change their energy matrix for a cleaner one to secure our climate and environment. Particularly I see myself working to boost alternative energy projects and reach my country sights on 20 percent renewables by 2025).

Scholarship / Networking can pave the way to engage each other in the community - Chevening Scholarships [3]

@FatemahEbrahimi

Dear,

Reading through your essay I found interesting the various organizations you listed as your network, but this does not fully address the prompt. How have you utilized your membership at the Afghan women network and Empowered women organization to achieve set goals and objectives. Meeting the chief of Party of Afghanistan Social Organization (ASO) was a great opportunity, how have you been able to engage him to accomplish other objectives that could benefit your organization or the public? Your internship at the NGO was an opportunity for you to meet influential people, if so, how did you manage this network during and after your internship?.

The Last paragraph seems confusing, "I do believe what I have mentioned above are samples on how the networking skills were supposed to be utilized in order to make a positive influence. In the future, I will devote my opportunity to developed my networks with the Chevening community to keep us connected with each other in post the Chevening program. The network that I have built will definitely have mutual benefits to all the Chevening awardee, future scholars and alumna, throughout cooperation and mentorship".

The first line implies that you are unsure of how to address the prompt, "Samples"? kindly go through this paragraph again.

Scholarship / Clear post-study Career Plan Both Short and Long Term upon Returning Home - (Chevening Scholarship) [5]

@Dzidzor75
The Prompt on the question says Clear Post Study Plans! What you have written is so vague. Volunteer in what capacity? Please have another look at the essay.