Writing Feedback / Information in a specific sector should be shared freely or not [2]

Hi.. Could you check my essay and give your prediction about band score? Thanks in advance.

Here is the topic :
some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

scientific information control

Here is my essay :

Scientific research, business and the academic world had been changing in the past decades. There some information had been discovered which gives a huge impact to development. Some people believe that is very importantto share as much information, in other hand some people believe that there are some information which classified and do not need to share. I strongly believe that the information should not be shared freely.

The information in scientific research, business or the academic world is very important. These informations perhaps for some people is a dangerous or if these informations shared that will gives a wrong speculate among people. I believe these can be reduced with spesific laws which can control in distribution. The government it self, should select the information which will be shared carefully, because it will be a catastrophe if the government gives a wrong informations. For example, in my country the government announce about the new energy which can be used as a safer energy called nuclear. Whereas, these informations become a pro and contra in society. The people who does not have clear information about that become paranoid and get scared easily.

In other hand, I do believe gives as much information as possible also a great action to support and increase a quality of people's life. also, The easier people gets the information become a factor to measure about the quality of nation. for example, Europe as a develop country which each people can get all the information easily, the government provides the access of the information in every corner of the street, so people in rural area also can search information for develop their land. This sample do not happens in my country which a developing country, people in this situation always have a limited solution for their problem because of the access of the information.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that should be a law or new regulation to control shared information about scientific issue, business and the academic world. The information which shared should give not only a new information but also safe feeling for everybody.

Scholarship / I choose the courses in U.K. which are really relevant to my academic background and my future plan. [5]

hey, here is my essay for Chevening scholarship. I need some suggestion for my essay, please give me some feedback to improve my essay. Thank you.

Chosen three university courses

Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.

The biggest challenge in my country is a problem about employment. There are over seven million people who unemployment in 2017. The problem caused by the deficiency of employment field. The necessity employment field does not linear to the percentage of the people who search for the appropriate job. Therefore, it triggers me to establish my own company in future.

Through some research and sharing knowledge with people in expert, I discovered to establish a company needs two mandatory skills, which is an experience and education on management. I have great experiences which gained from my current work as an Engineer. For my higher education. I choose three universities in U.K as my course.

My first choice is MSc. Construction Project Management in the University of XXX. The modules designed for me to discover the project control mechanism which emphasizes in budgeting and cost management, resources management, and contract management, also intend to offer a description about understanding both of people-related and technical knowledge to accomplish successful management of project. Furthermore, I really interested in construction project management professional practice module which learns about a live case study. At the same time, it also the most challenges within enhancing my experience at a teamwork, risk management and planning project. With this module, I will gain not only live experience but also a networking, because it uses an ongoing construction or civil construction project as a tool.

My next choice is MSc. Civil Engineering and Management in the University of YYY. The modules in the course will broaden my knowledge of management while also furthering my knowledge about civil engineering, mostly focusing on integrated systems design project and business and management aspect. The most interesting part of this course is I will teach jointly by the ZZZ School. I am particularly interested in the marketing management module. This is a new for me to obtain knowledge about marketing since my current work as an engineer does not correspond directly to the marketing aspect. I will see my self with strong marketing skill which greatly helping me to advance my future company.

My last choice is MSc(Eng) International Construction Management and Engineering at the University of XXX. The course aims to offer me a core management which concerns on project life cycle and prepare for increasingly global construction. There are two modules catch my intention, procurement management and strategic management in construction. The procurement management module will help me to discover strategies for running a project effectively. As an Engineer, I face a problem every day. Hence, I require to implement a different managerial technique for each problem and combine with strong technical knowledge. That is why the strategic management in construction module will increase my skill significantly.

To sum up, I choose the courses which really relevant to my academic background and my future plan. Moreover, I strongly believed that study at U.K is a golden opportunity to bring me one step closer to my career in the future.

(word count: 500/500)