Posts by Chrissanth_12 [Suspended]

Chrissanth_12

Jul 2, 2018

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Are fixed punishments necessary? Without considering different circumstances ? [6]

In your topic sentence, you should paraphase the title. A ideal topic sentence includes topic, controlling idea, purpose statement( maybe)

I strongly believe that a set of punishments ... ( which is this part writing about? It is in the body or conclusion? Is it clear?)

The unity, coherence, vocab is ok

Chrissanth_12

Jun 10, 2018

Writing Feedback / Speaking a second language fluently makes a significant change in your life [2]

Speaking a second language will change your life.

Speaking a second language fluently makes a significant change in your life. Firstly, speaking a second language with fluency gains you an extensive field of knowledge. Undoubtedly, when you do not understand the lessons, you can convey your idea to your professor. Besides, you can make a video call or have a face-to-face conversation with foreigners to share information. Secondly, it is clear that you will have a brilliant career when speaking like a native communicator. If a Mexican partner suddenly appears in your company, nobody but you can communicate with him, you will surely get a chance to climb the career ladder. For example, Jack Ma learnt English to change his life and he is a billionaire now. Thirdly, talking like a native speaker helps you have a new viewpoint to the world. You can make friends with foreigners, learn about other cultures, have trips to some countries which speak your second language without any hesistancy. In conclusion, it is needless to say that speaking a second language fluently makes your life better and brighter. Not only does it help you improve your knowledge, have a close relationship with foreigners but you also have a promising career.

Chrissanth_12

Jun 8, 2018

Writing Feedback / What members of a city sports club think about the club's activities, facilities and opening hours? [3]

Results are divided by into ... presented by ~~percentage~~ percent

I think your writing is very good. Especially, I like the way you analyze the idea, it's perfect

Chrissanth_12

Jun 8, 2018

Writing Feedback / The paragraph in response to the topic: the disadvantages of being left-handed. [3]

This That is understandable ...

... of scissors with to two distinct blades, ~~in which~~ one is designed for a thumb, (is easy to become an exercise of frustration to left-handers ...) #it_isn't_clear_enough_&_i_can't_understand_what_u_are_wanting_to_write

... their hands runs through

You dont have conclusion?

Chrissanth_12

Jun 8, 2018

Writing Feedback / Do u think there were more advantages-disadvantages to be part of a large family in the past? IELTS2 [4]

a large family has more benefits than downsides

The accelerate speed of modern life has brought about changes in traditional way. This is the reason why families have a tendency to be smaller than they used to be, which gives people different experience.

A large family has a lot of advantages. Firstly, that younger brother could play football, play chess or study objects at school together helps them learn social skills from each other. Secondly, children helped in home that leads to the responsibility for their own action. Thirdly, grandparents could also look after their young kids with a particular care.

However, a large family also brings disadvantages. The first reason is finance. One of parents needed to stay at home so as to take care of the young and the old, hence, they would earn less money. The financial problem prevented children from going to school and taking part in outdoor activities. The second one is parents's less attention to each kid because they had too much worry in their mind.

I think a large family has more benefits than downsides. Although their family were lack of money, children didn't receive enough consciousness from parents, members in family could give help and support to each person, never felt lonely and were always happy.