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Posts by francigd
Name: Franciane
Joined: Jun 21, 2018
Last Post: Jun 26, 2018
Threads: 3
Posts: 3  

From: Brazil
School: FGV

Displayed posts: 6
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francigd   
Jun 26, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS - large number of children play computer games - how it may affect them? [6]

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games.
What are the negative and positive impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?


Childhood amongst games



Recently, playing computer games on childhood has become a topic of debates, raising relevant concerns between parents and society. It is true the number of digital games on early ages has increased and more users accessed personal computers. Overall, this essay will point out the benefits and drawbacks to playing games and provide suggestion that might mitigate this issue.

First and foremost, there are clearly a great improvement cognitive skills developed by game players. Tablets and devices will teach youngsters how be a quick thinker. For instance, if a child was educated with plenty of information, internet, technologies and artificial intelligence through games he or she would likely learn any major faster rather than those do not. However, drawbacks come across such lack of physical activity, far less social relationship and even worst the extremely exposition and vulnerability. Instead pupils should be educated on a safe environment.

The key factor could tackle this issue is probably the most commonly in our society, as broaden information about length on computer have already been discusses. How long should be allowed children playing games daily? Since that the kid goes to school, play sports and have friends with any lack of essential needs, parents usually allow them around one hour per day. Moreover the most crucial point should be balance their entertainment and daily basis.

In conclusion, although digital games brought cognitive development, it is dangerous on social behaviour and daily routine. However, a limited time in front of computers can diminish those problems.
francigd   
Jun 22, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS GT Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. [2]

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.
What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.


youngsters breaking the law



Recently, crimes committed by young ages have become topic of debates globally, bringing many concerns between government and society. The growing numbers have demonstrated the relevancy of this issue. Overall, this essay will point out reasons why the new generation are involved on this situation and provide some solutions.

First and foremost, the main reason is clearly the freedom that children are growing up. Modern society allows young people to have more flexibility. For instance, while parents are working all day, their sons are being carried by other people such nannies or relatives, who in general neglected attention or have different ways to educate them. Therefore, young people, particularly teenagers are becoming far more independent to committ some crimes that they even are not aware of the consequences. Furthermore, a great solution to tackle this issue could be more presence of parent in children's daily life and also more discipline in their activities.

The secondary reason for crime rates for early ages is the easy access to information. Media often have been showing videos, films and news explaining how people strategically performed in some kind of crimes such as violence and robbers. Moreover, it is encouraged by some groups on social media rapidly. A good idea it will be reinforce the time limit of children and teenagers on TV, internet or any budget, as a consequence less exposition and vulnerability.

In conclusion, freedom and media access are main factors for problems with increased rates of crime in early ages. Parents are protagonist to solve this issue, who should be more present, monitoring the time and content available for their sons.
francigd   
Jun 22, 2018
Writing Feedback / What invention in the last 30 years has made the most difference in the lives of people? [3]

You have a good structure overall, a bit repetitive. Practice more and more, improve vocabulary and collocation.

Use appropriate sentence: Instead "for me" you could use "In my opinion, In my point of view".

Grammar erros, for example: people almost can't live... in our (their) daily life

with others to each others
francigd   
Jun 21, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS - useful or harmful chemicals in our food [3]

Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?

chemicals and toxins in foods



Recently, agrotoxics and preservatives have become topic of debates in many countries, particularly in mega cities, raising relevant discussions among society. Overall, I agree that there are more negative impacts in our life than benefits, as I believe that diety is essential for health and this essay will argue regarding this point of view.

Firstly, additives used at food industries cause some illness and is the main issue on this matter. It is exemplified by the growing number of cancer rates in U.S. which is represented 9% of citizens are sick, as they changed their diets for convenience, rather than prepare their own meals. In addition to it, is believed that other illness such allergies and skin problems are commonly influenced by the plethora of complex unknown ingredients in the manufactured foods. Therefore, most people who need assistance on their health will likely cost more for public services.

Secondly, other reason why those chemicals in industry is harmful because it have not yet been clarified. For instance, transgenics, which is used in South America indiscrimed will be seen the consequence just for next years, as the researchers do not have information to demonstrate the results by introduced it in basic foods. Although the process with chemical can give more scalability in some companies, rather than normal natural way it has been put our society in enormous risk.

In conclusion, however the development at some manufactures utilizing chemical and toxins in foods to produce enough supply for population, I strongly believe that those chemical are extremely harmful for our health.
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