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Posts by kartikt [Suspended]
Name: Kartik Tiwari
Joined: Sep 21, 2018
Last Post: Dec 22, 2018
Threads: 6
Posts: 12  
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From: India
School: St. Paul School

Displayed posts: 18
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kartikt   
Dec 22, 2018
Undergraduate / What you learned from working with others? JHU Supplement [3]

... water again, our ... (comma)

Were they even my friends?

This is a little too harsh. Make it something like- was I supposed to trust these people to help me in my troubles ? (something on the lines of this)

I learned from the group things ...

Ambiguous. What did you learn? I get what you're saying but its too implicit. Make it a little more obvious
kartikt   
Dec 19, 2018
Undergraduate / Learning our Spherical Planet Floats on Nothingness: YALE SUPPLEMENT [3]

PROMPT-

Why do these academic areas (Astronomy, Philosophy, Political Science) attract you?

(100 words)


On learning that our spherical-planet floats on nothingness, I turned towards the stars for quenching the curiosity which my ordinary-sized skull couldn't contain. Why do we exist? Are there other intelligent organisms? Are we 'intelligent'? Buried underneath such hefty one-liners, I witnessed the edge of physics seamlessly interpenetrating periphery of philosophy.

My precise intellectual-interests reoriented frequently throughout this odyssey. From wanting to step on mars to dreaming about unifying General-Relativity with Standard-Model, one sleep-stealing paradox remained a constant though- Is space-research ethical in a society where starvation exists?

By garnering Yale's education, I hope to resolve this internal dilemma and develop a cohesive dynamic between physical-sciences and social-welfare.
kartikt   
Dec 19, 2018
Undergraduate / What book or piece of literature you believe is important for the entire Colgate Class to read? Why? [3]

This book tells the story...

This book draws a compelling narrative about how Homo Sapiens came to rule the world by combining two and a half million years of evolution and dwelling into the intricate fabric of societal norms and values.

What is it that makes us humans?

remove this line

Should we continue to exploit ...

Will continued exploitation of others yield favorable benefits?

I guess this should take care of the word limit
kartikt   
Dec 19, 2018
Letters / Writing a letter to express my situation for availing the scholarship [2]

I believe it perfectly conveys your family conditions and economic backgrounds. However, I feel this remains a little generic in terms of demonstrated interest. If you craft the letter with specific references to the universities features which'll help in elevating you and your family, then it would show the reader that you really intend to attend that university.
kartikt   
Dec 17, 2018
Undergraduate / I co-founded Muniversiti, a non-profit organization with the purpose of galvanizing the youth [3]

Thanks for pointing that out. Its a trivial matter. I'll contact someone from the digital networking department and the website would be back up in 48 hours. Apart from that I've also provided social media handles for the non-profit.

If you can give me a stylistic and literary feedback on this essay, I'd be glad. Thank you soo much
kartikt   
Dec 16, 2018
Undergraduate / I co-founded Muniversiti, a non-profit organization with the purpose of galvanizing the youth [3]

Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experience



In 2016 I co-founded Muniversiti, a non-profit organization with the purpose of galvanizing the youth. Muniversiti converges students from diverse demographics to deliberate over global challenges and delivers proposed solutions and the raised funds to qualified NGOs working at root-level. We've generated $40,000+, conducted 15+ conferences, associated with 23 NGOs as consulting partners and organized India's largest MUN conference.

As Director Training, I devise educational modules and deliver presentations to promote community engagement amongst local youth and help them develop fresh perspectives on problems hindering world's progress. I've interacted with 10,000+ students, conducted seminars in 50+ schools and chaired world's first MUN committee run entirely on Sign Language.

Whether it's by persuading Ministry of Social Justice to develop inclusive policies or planting 400 trees at a record-breaking pace, Muniversiti is a group of crazy individuals who refuse to accept that 'mere' students cannot manifest a world with greater opportunities.
kartikt   
Dec 16, 2018
Writing Feedback / Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. [3]

The last sentence of first paragraph sways away from the fundamental arguement in a very subtle manner. The point is not whether making noise is good or bad but rather to what degree should one be able to exercise the right to indulge in noise making activities.
kartikt   
Dec 15, 2018
Writing Feedback / If you had to spend a year in either past or future, which year would you travel to and why? [2]

1857 - Time travel to past



Covered in warm blankets, me and my girlfriend lick Cheeto dust off our fingers while witnessing our intellectual reserves amalgamate with the Game of Thrones' plotline. Halfway through the episode, she looks right at me and slowly whispers, "What if there existed one single mobile phone in the Game of Thrones' Universe?". WOAH! I'm suddenly sent into a trance of speculation but I soon collapse back to reality and reply, "I don't think much would change if you don't have at least two."

This thrilling (yet short-lived) Game of Thrones head-canon, introduced me to an interesting new pastime- trying to trace how different history's course would be if our ancestors had access to faster communication. One of the most challenging, confusing and unpredictable timeframes for this little drill, in my opinion, is undoubtedly the 'Great Indian Rebellion of 1857'.

[Time travel to past is complicated. Before we dive into our 'World Changing' game, lets define our rules. Firstly, we ARE allowed to alter events of the past. Secondly, when an event is interfered with, the butterfly effect branches a parallel timeline to ensure player's existence is not ceased. Lastly, our mobiles can function without prior telecommunication related establishment.]

1857. We stand in a world where air is clean, khaki is fashionable, 80% of the world is colonized by Europe and Indian land is infused with martyr blood. We're in a period where inclusion of pork-shell rifles in a majorly Hindu infantry caused public outrage and radical ideals culminated into what we now call India's First War of Independence. It's a vital period because after 90 years of exploitation, India rose above regional disagreements and united for a greater cause. However, this noble endeavor failed and led to thousands of casualties which included pregnant women and innocent children.

Historians propose a wide spectrum of reasons which may have led to this setback but the most prominent causes remain- lack of coordination and inefficient communication between central leaders. Both of these shortcomings are problems which could easily be solved with modern communication which is rapid, encrypted and almost immune to misinterpretations. At this point, I believe using my parents' savings to buy as many iPhone 4s as I can and distributing them amongst important characters of this narrative would be a wise move. Afterall, sovereignty of my nation is more important than my college education.

It's impossible to answer objectively how contemporary India would reflect the success of this rebellion. I say this with no certainty but perhaps, the largest mass genocide orchestrated by the colonial rule in the form of Bengal Famine could have been prevented. Perhaps, stopping the steep decline of per capita-income under British Raj a little earlier would save the quarter of Indian population which lives below poverty line today. Perhaps, thousands of undocumented murders and millions of undocumented rapes due to unchecked authority of British officials over Indian slaves may have been prevented.

We, mere players of our speculation game, might not be able to conclusively determine the future of India if it was liberated a century earlier. This analysis, however, does reinforce my strong belief that communicating ideas is the key towards a brighter tomorrow. Great ideas only turn into great movements when they penetrate the bubble of isolation and reach out to a world with infinite possibilities. This is also one of the core philosophies which remains infused in my non-profit's plan of action. I co-founded Muniversiti to converge students from diverse demographics so they can deliberate over global challenges. We hope accomplish what telecommunication technologies ironically fail to do in the modern world; bring people together.

Whether it's by persuading the Ministry of Social Justice to develop inclusive policies or planting 400 trees at a record-breaking pace, we're amongst those crazy individuals who refuse to accept that 'mere' students cannot manifest a world with greater opportunities.
kartikt   
Dec 15, 2018
Writing Feedback / In your opinion, what has been the most significant invention of the past 200 years? [2]

I am not entirely sure whether this essay was supposed to be a creative writting work or an argumentative essay. If this was an argumentative essay then it sure does seem like a proper drafts which requires only a few minor tweaks here and there. However, as a creative writting piece one may call it rather dull. Perhaps a way to make it more indulging would be to contrast a dark gritty world which doesn't have airplanes with the fast paced modern world and elaborate on the societal impacts which this particular invention has had apart from more efficient economies and safety.
kartikt   
Sep 23, 2018
Undergraduate / West Union Building: A metaphor for my life (WHY DUKE ?) [2]

Here is the exact prompt-

If you are applying to the Trinity College of Arts and Sciences as a first year applicant, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something particular about Duke that attracts you?

As an amalgamation of chill comic-book talks and intense theological debates, I consider West Union Building to be an apt metaphor for my life- a hub of diversity, a bridge between heritage and progression.

In Trinity, I'd be found enjoying Prof Chandrasekharan's lectures on Fermion-Bag approach, taking the notoriously challenging PHYSICS655, involving myself in the Super-K project and, of course, spamming Instagram with #DevilDays during Duke2023 student takeovers. Like the magnificent sunsets at Marine Lab, my days at Duke would definitely leave me wanting for more.

I believe if I can impact even a single person's life positively, I must do it. In applying for DukeEngage, I see opportunities to transform hundreds of lives. I even hope to leave my mark on the student body by establishing 'Duke Astronomy Society'.

I choose Trinity because when the Wallace Wade Stadium chants 'Go Go Duke', my heart starts pumping the Devil Blue.
kartikt   
Sep 23, 2018
Undergraduate / Request to review personal profile for admission in UBC [4]

The story seems just fine to me (a little weak on the imagery side) but the major problem I see in this is that the pay off isn't as rewarding. It seems all that you learnt from the first MUN did was help you win your second one. If you can convey how diplomacy changed the way to look at the world around you or communicate with others or helped you develop a new perspective towards life, maybe then this could become a much stronger essay than it already is.

Glad to help you out. I suggest you consider replacing 'nastiest lines' with 'the most disagreeable statements in an indisputable fashion'.
Also do give me my amherst essay a read.
Thanks !
kartikt   
Sep 22, 2018
Undergraduate / THE BRILLIANT FOLLY OF A MAGNET DRIVEN CAR - Amherst Supplement Essay [2]

This is the prompt. Additional instructions mentioned that the essay must not be argumentative but rather very personal in nature.

"Rigorous reasoning is crucial in mathematics, and insight plays an important secondary role these days. In the natural sciences, I would say that the order of these two virtues is reversed. Rigor is, of course, very important. But the most important value is insight-insight into the workings of the world. It may be because there is another guarantor of correctness in the sciences, namely, the empirical evidence from observation and experiments."

Kannan Jagannathan, Professor ofPhysics, Amherst College


THE BRILLIANT FOLLY OF A MAGNET DRIVEN CAR



Amidst plastic dinosaurs and chess pieces, the 9-year-old me rolled a Hot-Wheels car I recently rescued from the crevice of a sofa. My intense high-speed pursuit on the floor was bluntly disrupted by a glossy slab of metal. A magnet!

I wondered, perhaps, a proper magnetic arrangement could propel my car like an invisible engine. I taped a pencil to my car, suspended the magnet from the pencil using rubber bands and decided what I'll wear during my interview titled '4th Grader Solves Global Fuel-Crisis'. To the wildest of my amazement, it didn't move. So, I quickly embedded a lump of play-dough to the back of my car hoping it would rectify the weight distribution irregularities only to encounter further disappointment. The payload turned too bulky for my wee magnet and no amount of convincing could get my mother to buy me an 8kg neodymium one.

Between insufficient apparatus and an unending pile of schematics, I vaguely realised that true insight is the sole needle which penetrates the bubble of empirical confinements, beyond which lies the vastness of pure science. Blank papers and sketch-pens, ever since, have turned into my research companions with whose help I've design multiple universes of my own.

Years later, I did learn how Laws of Thermodynamics disallow a perpetual motion machine but my adventures with the impossible magnet-car rendered me with the epiphany that my interests were in exploring (and occasionally bending) the nature of reality using theoretical physics. I would travel to black-holes and dive in subatomic worlds all in the same day, with merely sketch-pens and a creative aptitude.

Gradually, rigorous reasoning has developed an organised space for my creativity to stroll in but my inherent nature to solve global-problems with insights I find in my 'toy-boxes', beyond normative places, has definitely not been altered.
kartikt   
Sep 22, 2018
Writing Feedback / A CASUAL GLANCE FROM MY LOVE (Cambridge Ordinary Level examinations of English) [4]

@Peachy_Hag
I absolutely appreciate the imagery you presented in the essay. However, I must say that even though it's a very elegant read structurally speaking, it took me some analysis to understand the point you were trying to convey. By the end of the essay, it feels as if something important was skipped over. Maybe cut down parts of imagery to elaborate on the sentences which preceed your conclusion.
kartikt   
Sep 22, 2018
Undergraduate / Why are you applying and how can we help you achieve your goals at Syracuse? [2]

There are three points on which I believe your first essay can be developed-
1. You could include specific features of Syracuse which attract you rather than just claiming you can picture yourself there (Majors, Research Opportunities, Professors etc)
2. You could also avoid making your essay to academic centric by discussing about student spirit of the institution and various clubs and movements.
3. You SHOULD also try to include what is it that you'll bring to their campus (Perspectives, maybe you'll start new clubs etc.)
kartikt   
Sep 22, 2018
Undergraduate / Grey Hair and Stuffed Rooms - Common App Essay [3]

Thank you sooo much for your valuable feedback !
Astronomy is my central hook for the entire application. I tried to justify it by listing my multiple involvements with national and international observatories. I'll still try to change parts of it because I can easily risk coming off as cocky.

And I'll restructure the sentence starting with "because" as well.
Thanks.
kartikt   
Sep 21, 2018
Undergraduate / Grey Hair and Stuffed Rooms - Common App Essay [3]

This is my common app essay on the prompt

Share an essay on any topic of your choice.


It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design

"Why would you want your hair to turn grey while staring at a problem which you might never even solve?" These words by Prof. Sanjit Mitra, a brilliant grey-haired researcher at IUCAA (Inter-University Centre for Astronomy and Astrophysics), did not lead up to the conversation I expected before walking in his room. Only several sleepless nights and retrospection episodes later, did I realize the significance of this much ignored question.

... after gazing at a globe and then up in his father's russet brown eyes, a kindergartner exclaimed, 'I can't believe the Earth is not flat Dad! I'll become an astronaut one day and find out the truth".

Fascinatingly enough, one small moment of awe and arbitrary scepticism influenced that kindergartner's life for years to come. Whether it was irresolutely choosing 'Popular Science' in bookstores over 'Spectacular Spiderman', or watching Carl Sagan's Cosmos on repeat instead of Power Rangers, I never stopped to ask myself- why?

Were fictional worlds not as appealing to me as the mind-boggling quantum realms? Did my overwhelmed self consider pondering over life decisions rather than the array of ideas I had, irrational? Regardless of the cause, my intense craving to understand this clockwork universe fuelled my spacecraft of imagination and my expeditions in the realms of astronomy continued.

During summers, I worked at prestigious observatories with brilliant scholars to push my horizons of knowledge astronomical distances away. Every spectrum I analysed, and every other research forum I participated in, made me feel as if pieces of a puzzle were falling beautifully in place.

However, all this changed when I stammered while answering Prof. Mitra. I walked home feeling terrified by the fact that I stood unaware of the reasons why I've devoted half of my life doing things that I did.

If watching a globe for the first time was my 'falling-apple moment', then my 'Eureka moment' happened 12 years later when I stood under the massive 3.6m Devasthal Telescope. The dome loudly slid open to expose the magnificent winter sky of Nainital. And it struck me- I'm nothing but a neat yet highly insignificant arrangement of stardust amidst the vast enveloping universe. I chose to explore this humbling idea every night for the same reason why I take out telescopes to freezing cold roofs instead of sleeping peacefully at 3 a.m.

My abstraction was not just humbling, but also inspiring. From that point of time, science became a symbol of the robustness of our lives. Science became an opportunity for me to keep contributing towards a brighter future even long after I'm gone.

If it wasn't for the unexpected question and my frankensteinish reply at IUCAA, I might have parted ways with science by now. Because I studied enough physics to explain most of the questions an average Joe would throw at me, I would have felt something which a true scientist should never feel: satisfaction. Fortunately, my days at IUCAA were a reminder that my story was never about answering the most complex questions. It was about questioning the most obvious answers. It was, and will always be, about transforming lives.

Last August, after my finger-style guitar performance in an inter-school competition, a member from the judging panel asked me, "What is it that you want to do in your future?". My instantaneous reply, 'ASTROPHYSICS!', came as a surprising answer to many. He raised an eyebrow and followed with a familiar sounding question, "You can tour the world with your guitar if you remain dedicated, but you want to spend your life inside a room stuffed with redolent old books. Why?" Facing the bright lights and the packed auditorium, I smiled. This time I knew exactly what I'd say- "Yes. Maybe it does mean I'll spend my life behind closed doors. But if it also means I could be opening portals of knowledge for generations to come, count me all in for it."
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