Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Brenna Vo
Name: Diem
Joined: May 13, 2019
Last Post: May 15, 2019
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam
School: Quy Nhon University

Displayed posts: 5
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Brenna Vo   
May 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / Humans today kill the Earth through garbage - it is a worldwide problem. [2]

hi @phamhaitb
there are some mistakes you should pay more attention to such as:
... of reasons for this issue is a global problem, ( reason for sth/doing sth).
... of the major reasons causes ( causing)
... directly into the air which contributes (contributing) to ...

Today, some measures are now used to ... The most effective way to fight climate change ( irrelevant word) is reducing ( to reduce) ... which reduces rubbish is created by humans ( which is created by humans).

You should review some grammar structures like relative clauses, compound and complex sentences
Brenna Vo   
May 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary? [2]

Libraries necessity in the modern world



Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary. Do you agree or disagree?
It is true that people, these days, prefer reading and seeking information online to reading books and magazines in libraries by means of the available Internet. From my perspective, even though there are a huge variety of benefits of Internet in information providing functions, I would argue that libraries are more superior.

On the one hand, reading online is becoming a common feature among people, and students in particular since it is probably cost-effective and time-saving. In fact, youngsters are more likely to have access to information and knowledge on the Internet whenever and wherever as long as there is a good wi-fi connection, and they do not have to spend a great deal of money buying books or commuting to book stores in a regular basic. Moreover, Internet offers a wide range of information and news in different fields, which are not only national ones but also international ones. Thus, just with a click within seconds, people may have a massive amount of information appearing in the screen, which results in enhancing and upgrading the knowledge for people.

On the other hand, books in particular and libraries in general are still perceived to strengthen their dominant role in the world of technological advances. Firstly, books are deemed as a reliable source of information since they are written and edited carefully by professional experts and writers as well as censored heavily prior to be published and released the public. Hence, books allow students to do research in depth without worrying the accuracy and precision of information. Secondly, for those who would have the feeling of touching every single page, books and magazines are genuinely still essential. It is obvious that due to the hustle and bustle of city life, people just want to enjoy their days by reading a traditional press, sipping a cup of coffee, and turning over gently each page, which is extremely enjoyable and pleasant.

In conclusion, notwithstanding the fact that people and students find it easy to look for knowledge online, libraries are still dominant in our life, at least in providing reliable information and experiencing the feeling of touching each page.
Brenna Vo   
May 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: TOPIC Education for 18+ years [5]

hi, @duong duc minh,
we usually use some nouns in pair, for example benefits and drawbacks, pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages. It would be better if you do not separate them. Also, WE just need Sth brings many benefits, no need for pros
Brenna Vo   
May 13, 2019
Writing Feedback / Spending too much time on video games than sports - IELTS [2]

Time consuming Computer games



Topic: Today many students spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? is it a negative or positive development?

In this day and age, an escalating number of schoolchildren prefer spending a larger deal of time on computer-based games to wasting time on physical activities. From my perspective, there are a variety of reasons behind this trend, and it is perceived as a negative development to children's health and personality development.

There are a myriad of grounds for spend excessive amounts of time on computer-based games. One of the compelling reasons is that video games promote heroism and individualism among schoolchildren. This is because in the virtual world youngsters are much more likely to become leaders, captains, or heroes easily which appear to be more challenging and daunting to gain in the real world. As a result, they would end up with a sense of admiration and respect and reap applause from others, which spurs them to spend excessive amounts of time sitting in front of screen and immersing themselves in these video games. Another prominent root of children's spending little time on sports is that unlike sports that require a greater degree of energy and strength, playing computer-based games is less tired and energy draining. Players just sit in front of screen, eat snacks while playing, which is so comfortable and awesome.

However, I would argue that this trend has adverse effects on children's health and personality growth. Firstly, it is undeniable that sitting in front of screen for a prolonged time would contribute to some health disorders such as blurred vision, obesity, and back pain as adults. Secondly, playing too much computer-based games has a profound impact on personality development of players. Needless to say, there are a great amount of foul language and violence on video games, and children are more likely to imitate and employ these in daily lives or when feeling estranged, depressed, and isolated. Thus, it is possible that these poor behavior patterns could lead to subsequent violent acts.

In conclusion, there are numerous reasons why young children tend to spend much time on video games rather than on sports, and it is undoubtedly negative development due to at least influencing on health and personality growth.
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