Writing Feedback / Task 2 - In the past, knowledge was stored on books. Now, knowledge is stored on the internet. [2]

internet instead of books

In the past, knowledge was stored on books. Now, knowledge is stored on the internet. Do you think its advantages outweight disadvantages?

Nowadays, lore is kept in the internet instead books as before. In my opinion, this statement bring more benefits than drawbacks.

First of all, maintaining the lore on the World Wide Web would be better to store for new generations in the future. It is undeniable that the internet has the huge storage capacity that can save the knowledge in a long time while the books are damaged over the time and the writing on them may be faded. For examples, documents from the past dynasties have been damaged and omitted a lot. In contrast, the innovation of modern technology makes web sites grow up but it will be hard to lose. Large and long-term storage capacity of the Net is a great help for mankind.

In addition, people have extremely diverse sources of knowledge and cost savings thanks to the storage of knowledge on the Web. In particular, the cost of a book may be more expensive than internet access in a month but the content of the books usually only includes characters and images. Moreover, knowledge sources on the internet include videos and records with a full range of life areas such as economy, culture, politics and society, so on. With regard to exclusive books, today's readers can buy directly by creating a separate account on the publisher's website. This makes storage and usage significantly improved because people do not need to bring many bulky books to school or work, just bring their laptops and smartphones.

To sum up, the advent of computer network helps to store large amounts of knowledge effectively without relying on traditional paper books. This not only makes it easier for people to access knowledge, but also saves the cost of buying paper books.

P/s: Hope to hear your opinion about my essay! Many thanks my friends.

Writing Feedback / Task 2 - Townsfolk either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large family groups [6]

the family effect

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, people living in city are no longer stay with the big groups of family; they tend to have lonely life or their small family just including 2 generations. In my personal choice, this issue brought them both benefits and drawbacks as below.

On the one hand, living alone or 2 generations family has some advantages in developing the foundation of their characteristics. It is undeniable that townsfolk gain the good experiences in life while they must face the problems such as foods, houses, children's education and other daily expenses. Almost of them become more enthusiasm, independent and responsible. In particular, they have to take responsibility with their owned life; it is effective to develop their career when their efforts are earning money and getting achievement to maintain and advance their living conditions.

On the other hand, there are several drawbacks when townspeople do not live with their big families. Those usually consist of more 3 generations such as grandparents, parents and children. The elder people in a family achieved a lot of experience familiar their career and family problems. Nevertheless, because of living in different houses or even changing lifestyle, they cannot share a lot with their children, give advises or make suggestion in daily problems.

In conclusion, living alone or in small family of people in city will be the good foundation in educating their characteristic but they will lack of shares, advises and suggestions about experience from the elder in their big family groups.

P/s Hi guys, pls help me to improve my writing by your sincere comment. Give me your forecasted band core as well! My target is 6.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - Children spend time playing computer [4]

virtual games instead of real sport

"Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?"

Nowadays, the technological development brought a lot of the modern devices that help human life easier. One of them is appearing of computer with a lot of colorful online games. Therefore, it's argued that there is a lot of kids taking more time to play the computer games than do sports in the outside. In my opinion, this is the fact circumstance in general. However, the modern technology does not only have many drawbacks but also lots of benefits that good for their life.

With regard to the negative effects, first, spending time playing computer games will cause various issues about health especially making the eyes-problem. Honestly, looking at the screen more than 3 hours per day definitely deduct the eyes seeing ability. Secondly, due to the computer games, teenagers gradually become to addict. This leads to the other health-problem because they do not eat or even drink all the time being in front of the computer. Playing game most of time has the negative problem for children's health.

On the other hand, there are many online games about studying and entertaining that help to practice children's brain being more intelligent and flexible. If the parents can help their offspring including reminding them the time to using computer and guide them the good way to apply it in studying, children can advance their knowledge a lot because of online games.

To sum up, playing game brings up both advantages and disadvantages. They are not only the main reason for children's heath due to overusing but also develop the children's knowledge. The most important thing is guiding them to use computer reasonably.

P/s: I wrote it without dictionary in 50 minutes after a long time I did not write. I realized that I forgot a lot of vocabularies and I did not know how to express my opinion. Hope to hear your honest comment to let me improve more! Many thanks for my friends!