Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by bubbles117
Name: ngô khuê
Joined: Jul 4, 2019
Last Post: Jul 7, 2019
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 9
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bubbles117   
Jul 7, 2019
Writing Feedback / ielts writing: explain some of the way in which humans are damaging the environment and solutions [6]

@hinguyn
Hi there,
I guess you'd get 6.0 for this essay. But you should try to use these synonyms to improve your band score:
no denying= undeniable
dire = serious
reason = cause = justification = contributor = culprit = rational = explanation
'improve' should be replaced by avoid/ prevent/ combat/ tackle/ minimize
'environment' is a topic, not a 'problem'
and your conclusion should sum up your ideals in the essay.
bubbles117   
Jul 7, 2019
Writing Feedback / Technology Brings Changes toward People's Interaction [4]

@rivathh
Hello there,
I guess you're writing a IELTS writing essay. If that so, you'd be marked down as you didn't add your thesis statement in your introduction paragraph.
bubbles117   
Jul 5, 2019
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2: Hosting Olympic Games - is it good for the country? [3]

organising the olympics



Holding Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think it has positive effects while others argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

That whether a country should host the Olympic Games has aroused a considerable controversy. While some people deem that it could bring enormous advantages, others assume that the nation would squander a substantial amount of money on it. In my opinion, I partly agree with the former statement.

On the one hand, there are some justifications why a handful of people contend that being the host nation is a waste of money. This is because the country have to squander a host of money on constructing the state-of-the-art facilities for Olympic Games. If the national government is unable to compensate for its crushing financial loss, the country will be burdened with enormous debts. For example, in 2004, the starry-eyed government of Greek spent huge amount of money investing on up-to-date facility without considering its long-term use, resulting in its debt crisis for over two decades.

On the other hand, it should not be forgotten that organizing Olympic Games could exert profound effects on the host nation's economy. It is because the country cost nothing to be its image to the world during the time the Olympic Games takes place. This led to the rapid development of tourism as well as other pieces of work relating to this special event. For instance, the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona produced 88.7 percent of the city's decrease in unemployment.

In conclusion, despite the fact that the country could suffer from financial damages, being the host of the Olympic Games would open up ample opportunities to stimulate its economic growth.

Thank you for reading my essay. Please tell me if there're any problems with it.
From mod: One more useless post = ban.
bubbles117   
Jul 4, 2019
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2: Opinion on extra classes; one of the most challenging issues in education [5]

additional learning classes at school



Nowadays children are joining extra coaching classes apart from the school studies. Some think it is important for their future, others think the extra time should be spent playing. Do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that the increase in the number of pupils taking extra classes except outside school hours is one of the most challenging issue in education. While some people deem that after-school lessons are vital for students' future, others assume that after-school hours should be utilized in leisure activities. In my opinion, I am in complete agreement with the latter statement.

On the one hand, taking extra learning classes is trivial and has a number of dire drawbacks to pupils . Children spend the bulk of their time at school learning to acquire comprehensive knowledge of subjects required for their examinations. If they continue studying for long periods of time, they will suffer intolerable stress because of information overload. For example, a recent study by Melbourne University showed that students who study more than 14 hours a day often contract severe illnesses relating to physical and metal ones.

On the other hand, that pupils utilize their after-school hours in enjoyable activities can have a host of profound merits. It is because when they socialize with their buddies, they would build social skills as well as learn to handle their emotions through relationships with their peers. Moreover, time spent outdoors and away from screens would be good for children as it refrain them from technology devices' negative effects. Numerous studies have consistently found that 75% of students spending a long time outsides don't face with increased vision problem.

In conclusion, children should be inspired to do more entertaining activities after-school time since they enable pupils to develop the full potential and the rise in taking extra private lessons should be reduced on account of its disadvantages to students' mental heath.
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