Writing Feedback / UBC Personal Profile: Tell us about who you are. (The Idealist) [3]

(This essay doesn't require a title)

Prompt:

Tell us about who you are.

How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

I was the quixotic type as a child. My dream career changed from time to time, from an illustrator, to a physician, a physicist, then a NASA astronaut; only to name a few. I was driven by the desire to emulate the individuals I saw on televisions; those who have sparked innovative ideas and made an impact on the world.

Now, as a young adult with my own proclivity, my enthusiasm shifted towards psychology, astronomy and chemistry-- fields that never fails to pique my curiosity. However, I still faced the dilemma of choosing a specific field to study in college. Balancing academic achievements, capability and interests, I decided to pursue chemical engineering, the course that ticked all the boxes, and more importantly: suited my inquisitive personality.

I was born into a devout Muslim family when my parents were both in their early forties. As the last child with five much older siblings and mature parents, I was raised surrounded by those who instilled moral virtues within me since a very young age. And perhaps due to that, friends would describe me as someone who lives by her own values and principles, as I am not shy to stay true to myself even if it means being the odd one out among my peers. Nevertheless, I also cherish different opinions and insights that provoke thought as I see differences as a tool that encourages growth. That being said, I regard these qualities as something I am genuinely proud to possess.

Please comment on my content and structure. I'm trying to submit before 15th Jan so I would highly appreciate your immediate help. Thanks in advance!

Undergraduate / UBC Personal Profile: Importance of a Balanced Life [3]

PROMPT:

What is important to you? And why?

(maximum 250 words)

Just like in December of 2018, I fell into a nervous breakdown again last October. I tried asking myself what was causing it, because I was tired of being attacked by the recurring symptoms: rumination, heart palpitations, insomnia, muscle aches and so on. I reflected on my lifestyle but to me it was as normal as that of any other typical Asian high school student. I found out that those exact signs run in my extended family-- it was hereditary, and I am highly susceptible to it. Seeking a therapist was not a choice as having any sort of mental illness is considered taboo here, so I opted for self-help by doing a lot of reading and seeking advice from those who suffer along with me, online.

Since then, my priorities have shifted massively. Although outwardIy I am a high-functioning person, in reality I tend to spread myself too thin trying to achieve rather unrealistic expectations based on society's standard model of 'success' at the expense of my mental health. Now I gradually grow to realize that I have a bigger purpose in life; to be one who is well-rounded, leaves a positive impact in the world, while also being in contentment. In the pursuit of that, I invest more time 'slowing down' --by painting, looking at the universe and learning about my religion, and acknowledging my small successes. This sense of balance is what I regard as quintessential to a more fulfilling life.

I just want to know if this essay sounds too personal or is running away from the topic. Any sort of feedback on content/structure is appreciated. Thank you! :)

Undergraduate / UBC Personal Profile: The Idealistic Dreamer [3]

Prompt: Tell us about who you are.
How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

I was the quixotically ambitious type as a child. My dream career changed constantly, from an illustrator, to a medical doctor, then a psychologist and finally an astrophysicist working with NASA; all of them inspired by the people I know had made a change in the world. It reached a point where I believed that it was possible to be everything at once. However after receiving my national high school diploma, I knew that I had to start being realistic and reevaluate my ambitions. Balancing my academic achievements, capability and interests, I decided to pursue engineering, the course that ticked all the boxes, and more importantly-- suited my personality.

My peers would describe me as someone who lives by her own rules. In situations where most would find themselves following a certain trend, I would choose to stick to my own preferences. I am not shy to stay true to myself, even if it means that I would be the odd one out. While some would find it strange that I do not follow certain fads, most would appreciate me as being 'my own person'.

I was born when my parents were both in their early forties. As the last child with five much older siblings and mature parents, I was raised surrounded by those who instilled values within myself since I was very young. For that I am proud with my upbringing that has shaped me to become a young adult with strong core values and principles.

Please comment on my content and structure. Thanks in advance!